Lifestyle The Mental Wellness Thread

[yureion]

My Dad's (RIP) birthday coming up and it always makes me a lil somber, i use to be legit depressed so I'll take that progress via time... that said it was an off day and fall/early winter always reminds me of him and it was such a nice New York fall day today, everyone was home, my brother burst out the RC car and tripped our dog out with it running around the back yard - successfully pooped the pooch tho lol.
Net win day, now I'm just gaming and i'll probably go chill with them to smoke or something later but just a nice relaxing day.

 

[Josh Fleszar]

Depressed.
Lost my first ADV PL game and let every down.
Lost my chance to be in the Top 100 of GSC again.
Lost a ton on Gen 1, can't get ahead in Gen 4 Ubers, people harassing me in chat, my Orre Cup team sucks, and I feel like a fucking failure.

I already know people are just going to tell me the same shit, "pLaY tHe GaMe To HaVe FuN!!!!!! StoP dOiNg It If It MaKeS yOu UpSeT!!!!!!!!!"
I've heard it, just tired. Tired of coming to people to vent about this, sick of feeling like an outcast, sick of feeling like a failure.
I just needed some place to vent about all this. Crying and sniffling typing this all out. Might regret it, idk. Just fuck me I guess.
I don't know where the fuck to go anymore, idk who to talk to.

 

[S.A.C. Martin]

Depressed.
Lost my first ADV PL game and let every down.
Lost my chance to be in the Top 100 of GSC again.
Lost a ton on Gen 1, can't get ahead in Gen 4 Ubers, people harassing me in chat, my Orre Cup team sucks, and I feel like a fucking failure.

I already know people are just going to tell me the same shit, "pLaY tHe GaMe To HaVe FuN!!!!!! StoP dOiNg It If It MaKeS yOu UpSeT!!!!!!!!!"
I've heard it, just tired. Tired of coming to people to vent about this, sick of feeling like an outcast, sick of feeling like a failure.
I just needed some place to vent about all this. Crying and sniffling typing this all out. Might regret it, idk. Just fuck me I guess.
I don't know where the fuck to go anymore, idk who to talk to.

Whenever I have the “doom feelings” as I now call and recognise them, I have a few coping mechanisms that change my mood straight away.

First: five deep breaths. Oxygenate.
Second: decent sized glass of water. Finish it. Hydrate.
Third: whatever has annoyed me, upset me, etc etc - switch off from it, do something else.

If the latter is Pokemon or videogames, I highly recommend going on YouTube and putting something on - anything - like a comedy show, or similar. Take your attention away from it.

Fourth: give yourself time. I am, for example, working on several papers for my PhD. I recently wrote one and it was awful, I really messed up through rushing and I was so angry at myself. I have left it for two weeks and have come back to it. I feel better for having given it the space and I have been able to modify it to something I am happy with.

Fifth: anything that involves competition, aka a sport - put it down, come back to it when you’re calmer.

I’m sorry you’re feeling that way - hopefully some of the above might help. I have found having coping mechanisms and being able to self reflect and analyse, to be really useful in controlling my behaviours and mood.

 

[bruno]

Depressed.
Lost my first ADV PL game and let every down.
Lost my chance to be in the Top 100 of GSC again.
Lost a ton on Gen 1, can't get ahead in Gen 4 Ubers, people harassing me in chat, my Orre Cup team sucks, and I feel like a fucking failure.

I already know people are just going to tell me the same shit, "pLaY tHe GaMe To HaVe FuN!!!!!! StoP dOiNg It If It MaKeS yOu UpSeT!!!!!!!!!"
I've heard it, just tired. Tired of coming to people to vent about this, sick of feeling like an outcast, sick of feeling like a failure.
I just needed some place to vent about all this. Crying and sniffling typing this all out. Might regret it, idk. Just fuck me I guess.
I don't know where the fuck to go anymore, idk who to talk to.

This game sucks. There's an absurd amount of variance with some skill sprinkled in. Nobody bothers to understand anything that happens in a game because all that counts is whether you win or lose. And, it’s an extremely niche hobby that is essentially worthless to your life. So when people tell you to have fun with it, it’s something you should really take some time to ponder.

That being said, I think I understand where you’re coming from(trust me, more than I wish I did). We just want to win. We all want to excel at what we love. We just want to grasp that feeling of worth — that is to be human. Seeing you say you cried over this made me feel bad, especially since you seem to be my age.

First off, I think you should focus on one tier if you can, until you get the results you want there. Especially since you seem to be very competitive by nature, being all over the place isn’t going to help. You seem really into ADV. I’d recommend more of that since it’s an extremely active community and a very welcoming one as well (from my experience). The fact that you can juggle between all the tiers you listed is insane to me. Most gamers doing that are either extremely used to the game’s pattern recognition through past success or are just not taking things too seriously.

I have seen a lot of players grow over time by focusing on one tier, and it’s honestly amazing to watch because you get to see a real spark of personality, it is how i started playing too honestly.

I’m also not sure whether you really have a goal in mind with the game or if you’re just frustrated by losing. Either way, my real recommendation is to maybe try this video:

This is a video about shoonya meditation, which focuses on the death of ego. Everything in your post is spewing ego, like someone put a can of soda in a hydraulic press.

The meditation is only 10 minutes long (you can skip to 7:12) but I would recommend watching the whole video so you can better understand how it works. Of course anything that is convenient to you..

Take some time when possible to do the exercise, and then think about what you want from this game. Do you want people to think you’re good? Do you want to feel good about yourself? Do you just want to enjoy the feeling of winning? What is any of this bringing to you, really? What pushes you to keep going?

Try to respond with the first words that come to your mind. Talk to yourself for some time, maybe an hour or two.

We seriously don’t talk with ourselves enough. Not the self related to externals, but with the soul, with what you are feeling deep in there.

Anyway, if you come out of this with a path in mind, stick with it and feel free to PM me if you want any tips or teams in any tier, ill do my best to try to help when i can. I was going to PM initially, but i thought you may not see it + if this posts helps anybody else(i really love that meditation and do it frequently, love Dr K/healthygamer as a whole tbh can't recommend enough), that would be amazing.

I don’t know if I really helped with anything. I’m no therapist, nor can I express myself that well, just tried to talk about some of what has helped me. Of course, I’d also recommend considering therapy for any issues unrelated to the game if you feel you need support. I understand, though, if you feel hesitant about it. Wishing you and all others who have posted here the best

 

[Local Dog]

I once wrote about it but I noticed it again

I want things. When I get them, I am not very happy about it. I have a brief moment of joy, boredom and disappointment follow. The more I go through this, the shorter the joy becomes

It's to a degree where I kinda hope in the back of my head that I don't get what I want. Because it kinda feels better at this point to not get it

Big Ashley said it's basically just me rediscovering what Budha said but like, it still applies: I should stop wanting things with the expectation that they'll make me happy. If I divorce desire from expectations and just surf the waves, I'll probably be a lot better off. Not necessarily happier, because it's not the only positive way to feel, but just better

 

[S.A.C. Martin]

My mental health had a reasonable boost today. I Can Call for a better world again. Good.

 

[yureion]

feeling the dad loss energy, im doing okay but have that "take a sec to let yaself feel energy" (his bday 12/9)

im almost mad i still let it get me year to year after he came and hugged me in a dream he appeared in and i woke up same position he hugged me on the edge of my be bed, mid cry (post eulogy) - but i know it mattered, and that was his message of "Goodbye/Thank you i love you" and whatever-isms in life handle these things let me see him for a reason. I almost feel im disrespecting his goodbye letting myself get sad; perhaps im way too hard on myself, but this time of year always gets me smh.
the whole family came up to me appreciating the eulogy, but i still miss him.
not tryna be sad but ofc its a thing you feel.

 

[Eledyr]

Okay so, the last time I posted here was about 9 months ago. Many, MANY things happened ever since. In particular, I realize by the month of July that I gained about 15 kg, mostly likely due to my medications.
This led to me starting to go to the gym on a regular basis, about 2 times a week.

I can't stress enough how GREAT of an idea this was. Ever since, I feel so much better than before. It's like day and night. When autumn started, I was really worried about a possible deterioration of my mental health, especially because it happened since the last 4 years on a regular basis. Well, it didn't happen, and actually I felt even better than during the summer. Also, going to the gym is really addictive, because I keep track of my progress and can see my numbers slowly but surely increasing, and oh boy that I like to see numbers going up on a weekly basis.

And on another positive note, my psychiatrist finally told me to stop some of my medication! Not all of them, but I'm on the road to be finally fully done with this part of my life.

We're all at different points of our life obviously, but yeah, not so long ago I thought I'd be under medication my whole life, given the fact that I was relapsing again and again. Turns out I was wrong. This is a message to everyone struggling with mental health issues. Don't ever give up. Really. Your life matter, and you'll eventually see improvements. It may not happen instantly, and maybe that you'll not see the improvements at the beginning, but in the end you'll be rewarded for not giving up.

 

[Mister Magnus]

I wanna quit, but smogon becomes the only place in my life I get a single amount of friendship, so after I leave what is still in for me?

OK, I created a whole persona which pretends to be the person I wanted to be, in all metrics of life I’ve failed now unemployed, very low income in my business and facing the hardships of life alongside me not being able to do anything meaningful.

I wish I stopped been a burden to everyone around, I dream about disappearing everyday, I have reached a level of apathy I didn’t think was possible and no amount of therapy will change the fact I am poor and a burden to my family and society.

 

[Pengu]

I wanna quit, but smogon becomes the only place in my life I get a single amount of friendship, so after I leave what is still in for me?

OK, I created a whole persona which pretends to be the person I wanted to be, in all metrics of life I’ve failed now unemployed, very low income in my business and facing the hardships of life alongside me not being able to do anything meaningful.

I wish I stopped been a burden to everyone around, I dream about disappearing everyday, I have reached a level of apathy I didn’t think was possible and no amount of therapy will change the fact I am poor and a burden to my family and society.

You aren't any burden

If anything, we are here for you. Don't give up, you got this. Who knows, if you keep pushing, you might meet someone that will be that one. That one who will help you get back up and on your feet.

We don't want you to disappear

And you shouldn't be talking that way. One thing I learned from lots of experience is that a positive attitude helps with a positive outcome. So just try and see the good parts, and then I'm sure you'll make it somewhere great. Just keep pushing

 

[LHF]

I wanna quit, but smogon becomes the only place in my life I get a single amount of friendship, so after I leave what is still in for me?

OK, I created a whole persona which pretends to be the person I wanted to be, in all metrics of life I’ve failed now unemployed, very low income in my business and facing the hardships of life alongside me not being able to do anything meaningful.

I wish I stopped been a burden to everyone around, I dream about disappearing everyday, I have reached a level of apathy I didn’t think was possible and no amount of therapy will change the fact I am poor and a burden to my family and society.

The hobby of Pokemon is one that you should only engage in if it's serving your best interests. If you find yourself not enjoying the hobby anymore, you are well within your rights to quit or take a break as you need to. You have one life, and while I understand you might be feeling low at this very moment, life is full of high highs and low lows.

The holiday period is a very self-reflective time in which we tend to focus on the parts of ourselves we dislike heavily or where we fell short in our lives. I know words alone do not fix your situation but please take solace in the fact that you are not alone in that experience. Your existence is valuable and the world is better for you having existed.

With that said, I will offer you this: if you created a whole persona that allowed you to be the person you wanted to be on Smogon, take a moment to think on what is stopping you from being that person in your own real life. It might be intimidating or more difficult to do so, but there is no amount of money that will allow you to be a different person - the only barrier to change is in your own expression. That does not mean that there aren't challenges in doing this, but it does mean that if you found a way to become the person you wanted to be through your "smogon" personality, possibly there is a way for you to recreate that for yourself irl.

Apathy is more dangerous than depression in all facets, and I understand these are just words that a supposed internet stranger is typing on a screen. But we all have one individual life, and even in the face of apathy, there is a possible version of yourself in 5-10 years from now that wants to thank you today for not giving up.