Lea Thompson fucked a duck (Porygon) @ Eviolite
Ability: Trace
Level: 5
Shiny: Yes
EVs: 196 Def / 156 SpA / 156 SpD
Modest Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Ice Beam
- Psychic
- Thunder Wave
- Recover
I think it's fairly obvious that this team lacks a lot of important checks. Notably, you lack reliable Diglett, Porygon, Abra, Drifloon, Gastly, Magnemite, Archen, Chinchou, Ponyta, Snubbull, Carvanha, Omanyte, Skrelp, Staryu... A LOT of big threats. You know what deals with literally all of those things? Porygon. Now, my uncle is a chiropractor, so I know what quacks look like. Porygon, despite its state of being a virtual duck within a virtual game, is not a quack. It is, as a matter of fact, the best fit for this squad. Plus, Howard the Duck is the only worthwhile Marvel hero. Did you know that
Howard the Duck was the first Marvel theatrical release after the
Captain America serial?
Howard the Duck, or
Howard: A New Breed of Hero, as it was branded in the UK (UK stands for United Kingdom but it also accurately describes the country when pronounced phonetically- try it out and see!), came out in 1986, a whopping 42 years after
Captain America! Despite
Howard's lack of critical and commercial success, it gained a cult reputation in later years. The cast and crew had varying degrees of success after the film. Lea Thompson, who played Howard's (human) love interest in the film (and it should be noted that Howard has a wife and little duck children) went on to have such success as to star in the prestigious and universally-beloved films
I Was a 7th Grade Dragon Slayer and
Casual Sex? Note the question mark in the latter. It is a commentary on the ambiguity of modern culture. Tim Robbins, who played Phil Blumburtt, a Good Will Hunting (which is what I call it when I euthanize the homeless)-esque janitor who pretends to be a scientist who can return Howard to his beloved Duckworld, went on to a less impressive career, relegated to roles in lightly-regarded films such as
Top Gun and
Mystic River. The man who voiced Howard, Chip Zien, went on to be featured prominently in Tim Burton films like
Beetlejuice and
Ed Wood, although the general consensus for this is that Tim Burton is so coked up that he thinks that Chip is, in fact, a real duck. The executive producer of the film, a certain Mr. George "Georgie, or Georgina to those who have the pleasure of seeing him in drag, Lucas" Lucas, went on to do some impressively retarded shit, including, but not limited to: making a fourth Indiana Jones film with old Harrison Ford pretending to be young Indiana Jones, giving me a chronic headache whenever I hear the words "Jar, "Jar," or "Binks," selling the fucking Star Wars franchise like an absolute moron, and making the Star Wars holiday special, wherein: Chewbacca has a family for whom he does not care to the extent that he actually named his son, I fuck you not, "Lumpy," because that name does not carry cancerous connotations, the music is not John Williams, Princess Leia is preachier and more obnxiousier than normal, and, lest we forget, actually canonizing Chewbacca's family, for whom he cares so much that they are never mentioned again. What the fuck did I just write?