Dear reyscarface, you are Lan/MegaMan
You are Lan, the dim-witted protagonist and MegaMan, the smarter, cooler version of Lan. You have heard something unpleasant: Wily is planning another takeover of the net. *Sigh* doesn’t he ever learn? In any case, it’s your job to set things right again, to restore peace to the net and all that jazz. Your stupidity combined with your versatility, resilience, and wide influence will aid you in this destructive conflict with the WWW.
As Lan, every night, you may PM UncleSam and billymills with “Night X-Convince <user1> to target <user2>”. You will use your retardation to talk to <user1>, and <user1> will decide you are not worth targeting and will instead target <user2>, whom he figures must be important, because you mentioned him, and you are famous and such. Unfortunately, killers are able to see through your facade, and so this ability will not work on killing actions. Obviously you cannot target yourself because you can’t talk to yourself.
Should you decide to Jack In, you will become MegaMan. As MegaMan, you may send a PM every night to UncleSam and billymills stating “Night X-Emulate <user1> and Target <user2>”. You will use your ability to use any skill and take what <user1> was attempting to do, and aim that skill at <user2>. Because you are freaking MegaMan, this will work on any and all abilities, and you may target yourself. You will not gain the abilities you emulate, however, because you use up your capacity to use them by targeting <user2>.
You also know the identity of your father, Dr. Hikari, who is also fighting for SciLab. He is: ABCDEFG.
You are allied with SciLab. You win if SciLab eliminates all threats.