So, I'm not sure when it happened, but somewhere along the way it became unacceptable to socialize with the opposite sex when you are in some way exclusive with another person.
When I was growing up, my parents raised me to believe that it was perfectly natural (and encouraged) for co-workers to go out to lunch during the workday. A male and female co-worker eating together in a restaurant was a common sight, and was not analyzed or even taken a second look at. The same could be said about having friends of the opposite sex. I was under the impression that it was ok to have (in my case) female friends that were just that, and that there was no romantic interest between the two. You could hang out with your female friends in a completely plutonic manner, and nobody would judge you.
Then, things began to change. When I entered my first serious relationship, I got a crash course in how the mind of a psychotic woman works. Not only was it unacceptable to spend time with another female that was not your girlfriend, it was inappropriate to even SPEAK to other females, let alone be friends with them. Having lunch with your female co-worker was unheard of, and would most certainly earn you a trip to the doghouse. What's more, a brief conversation with a female classmate to ask about the day's assignment would be met with a deep interrogation, Spanish Inquisition style.
Now, at first I thought this situation was just because the woman I was dating was unusually jealous and paranoid, and that she was the exception to a rule. However, after several conversations with other females I determined that many people shared the belief of my girlfriend at the time: When you're in a relationship, you don't talk to other girls. Period.
Since then I've had a couple other relationships, and none were as ridiculous as the first. I've still noticed that there is a general uneasiness in women when their man is interacting with another female. The degree of uneasiness varies from person to person, but it is always present in some form. Even if the girl (ie my fiance) is relaxed and trusting, they still feel that aversion to other females being near me.
What I'd like to know is: When did this transition occur? When did it become implanted in people's minds that you're not allowed to talk to the opposite sex if it isn't your lover or blood-related family? Moreover, what caused this transition? What is the basis for this belief? This topic is for the discussion of these issues. Have at it.
When I was growing up, my parents raised me to believe that it was perfectly natural (and encouraged) for co-workers to go out to lunch during the workday. A male and female co-worker eating together in a restaurant was a common sight, and was not analyzed or even taken a second look at. The same could be said about having friends of the opposite sex. I was under the impression that it was ok to have (in my case) female friends that were just that, and that there was no romantic interest between the two. You could hang out with your female friends in a completely plutonic manner, and nobody would judge you.
Then, things began to change. When I entered my first serious relationship, I got a crash course in how the mind of a psychotic woman works. Not only was it unacceptable to spend time with another female that was not your girlfriend, it was inappropriate to even SPEAK to other females, let alone be friends with them. Having lunch with your female co-worker was unheard of, and would most certainly earn you a trip to the doghouse. What's more, a brief conversation with a female classmate to ask about the day's assignment would be met with a deep interrogation, Spanish Inquisition style.
Now, at first I thought this situation was just because the woman I was dating was unusually jealous and paranoid, and that she was the exception to a rule. However, after several conversations with other females I determined that many people shared the belief of my girlfriend at the time: When you're in a relationship, you don't talk to other girls. Period.
Since then I've had a couple other relationships, and none were as ridiculous as the first. I've still noticed that there is a general uneasiness in women when their man is interacting with another female. The degree of uneasiness varies from person to person, but it is always present in some form. Even if the girl (ie my fiance) is relaxed and trusting, they still feel that aversion to other females being near me.
What I'd like to know is: When did this transition occur? When did it become implanted in people's minds that you're not allowed to talk to the opposite sex if it isn't your lover or blood-related family? Moreover, what caused this transition? What is the basis for this belief? This topic is for the discussion of these issues. Have at it.
