Old Gens [RBY OU] Starmie

Rei

Rei

Bad Ending
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Starmie
Ability: No Ability
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 252 SpA / 252 SpD / 252 Spe
IVs: 2 Atk
- Surf
- Thunderbolt
- Thunder Wave
- Recover

Starmie is an all-star Pokemon thanks to its great stats and Recover + Thunder Wave combination. It can come in on most attacks, outspeed and beat the tier titan Tauros, and nail or cripple its foes. Surf lets it pressure Alakazam, Jynx, and Rest Snorlax while OHKOing Rhydon, but Blizzard and Psychic have some merit. Even if Starmie gets paralyzed, it can usefully block sleep from the likes of Sing Chansey and Exeggutor, but it needs to beware Exeggutor running Mega Drain. It also can still come in on special attackers like Slowbro and Exeggutor when paralyzed. However, losing its Speed exposes its middling physical bulk, letting Pokemon such as Rhydon, Tauros, and Snorlax pound it before it can attack or heal. Even without paralysis, it struggles to repeatedly take Body Slam from Tauros and Snorlax for both the damage and paralysis chance. It also cannot beat Chansey, lacking the chance to even fish for a Blizzard freeze.
 
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hummm let's see
in the opening sentence you -have to- mention access to the recover + thunder wave combo, all the other things are good too but recover+twave is why you go for starmie over other pokemon
i would rearrange that opening sentences to say "access to Recover + Thunder Wave, good enough bulk to make use of it, and a great Speed tier that gives it the upper hand against tier titan Tauros" (or something similar). this can probably replace the first 3 sentences altogether (no need to mention zap/jolt at the start of the analysis)
fourth sentence ("Starmie can also get paralyzed...") is pretty run-on and hard to parse - I would split what you're trying to say into two sentences, one about paralysis allowing it to sleep block Sing Chansey and Exeggutor (maybe mention having to worry about Mega Drain though), and another explaining how paralysis changes Mie's ability to perform defensively (still ok into specials like Thunderbolt-less Starmie and Chansey, Cloyster, Slowbro, Exeggutor - but much worse into physical breakers like Tauros, Snorlax, Rhydon who can now outspeed and seriously threaten you)
I think calling Surf the "best neutral attack" is a bit misleading - you can tweak that sentence to be clearer (try something like "While Starmie can choose from a few attacking moves in its arsenal, Surf is the best to pressure Alakazam and Jynx, also allowing it to OHKO Rhydon and pressure Rest Snorlax")
TBolt sentence is fine but you should also mention enemy Starmie in the list of Water-types
Final sentence is a bit messy as well, you've gone over all the good things now it's time to go over the bad things, which are:
- the physical attackers it's supposed to check (Rhydon, Tauros) can break through it relatively easily with Body Slam in the long run
- thunderbolt weakness (not only Chansey but also Starmie and the aforementioned Jolt/Zap)
- cannot break Chansey
you can take multiple sentences to mention all of these

overall it's not bad but it's a bit messy, clean it up and post here again to let me know when you're done thanks
 
"Starmie can also get paralyzed, which allows it to sleep block Sing Chansey and Sleep Power Exeggutor" -> "If Starmie gets paralyzed, it can perform useful sleep block duties against the likes of Sing Chansey and Exeggutor"

"due to these outpacing and threatening it." -> "due to losing the Speed advantage it naturally holds over them."

there are a few more grammar kinks that I will leave for GP, QC 1/1
 
Starmie
Ability: No Ability
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 252 SpA / 252 SpD / 252 Spe
IVs: 2 Atk
- Surf
- Thunderbolt
- Thunder Wave
- Recover

Starmie is an all-star Pokemon thanks to its great stats and Recover + Thunder Wave combination. It can come in on most attacks, outspeed and beat the tier titan Tauros, and nail or cripple its foes. Surf lets it pressure Alakazam, Jynx, and Rest Snorlax while OHKOing Rhydon, but Blizzard and Psychic have some merit. Even if Starmie gets paralyzed, it can usefully block sleep from the likes of Sing Chansey and Exeggutor, but it needs to beware Exeggutor running Mega Drain. It also can still come in on special attackers like Slowbro and Exeggutor when paralyzed. However, losing its Speed exposes its middling physical bulk, letting Pokemon such as Rhydon, Tauros, and Snorlax pound it before it can attack or heal. Even without paralysis, it struggles to repeatedly take take Body Slam from Tauros and Snorlax for both the damage and paralysis chance. It also cannot beat Chansey, lacking the chance to even fish for a Blizzard freeze.

this spotlight had some difficulty with flow. consider my current ordering of points:
general advantages-> applications relating to those advantages->advantage of usefulness despite para->disadvantage of para->general disadvantages

previously, it was:
general advantages -> applications relating to those advantages -> advantage of usefulness despite para -> disadvantage of para -> advantages of surf -> general disadvantages.

instead of gradually transitioning from broad advantages to specific advantages to specific disadvantages to broad disadvantages, it goes back and forth between advantage/disadvantage and general/specific.

some information was also a bit vague / overly general / not fully explained in context, such as "starmie doesn't like body slams", (why is that so?) "starmie struggles with the type it's weak to" (fairly intuitive), and "if it can come in on most attacks, why is paralysis so much a bigger deal against phys attackers?" (it can't heal or eg surf rhydon, i imagine?)

i tried to restructure and explain in ways that were right and made sense, but you and Amaranth should still look through and see if any changes/tinkering/optimization should be made

when that is completed, 1/1
Corrin1.gif
 
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