First off thank you Zar for doing this so I could steal your outline. Saved me a lot of time. So here is my PR and since I dont actually know all the players, I solely based it off the names each teams players have. I put the good names in Blue and the bad ones in Red, anything without a color was average. Enjoy
Power Rankings
1. No one
Sorry boys and girls, the first spot goes to no one. It would have gone to whoever drafted me but alas. I think some managers were just intimidated by my model good looks, jealous that I have a real human girlfriend and not a 2d Japanese one, or scared that they were not good enough to win me my 4th PL trophy in a row. It was probably a combination of the three.
2. Blackthorn Bucks: Havens, lax, sae, Jyph, Catalystic, SirSkit, Vodoom, King Choco, Thimo, kythr, Azelea, tko, brisked
Ngl this team is mostly just bangers. Starting off the list we have Havens and lax. Both great games, they are short, easy to say and easy to spell. Next you might be thinking why wouldnt I add sae to the blue names? Well sae is a fire name but also a frat at my college and most of those kids were tools so losing points for that.
I highlighted King Choco because normally this would be a bad name, too many letters and split up words but it makes me think of chocolate which makes it good. Kythr sounds cool, nice and edgy like hes listening to some emo band while wishing he bad blades for arms like scyther. Last we have tko and brisked. tko fire name of course, 3 letter names are elite. brisked just might be my favorite on this list, just a sick name in general.
Overall this is a 10/10
3. Meteor Falls Miniors: Attribute, Ridley, GotCookies, Conflux, Leru, Bitana, p2, Caetano93, Shiba, Alkione
Miniors also had some really good names. Ridley is just fresh sounding and it makes me think of the smash character. Conflux is another just smooth name to say. It makes you think of a space station for some reason. p2 is a two letter name, those are rare and goated. Shiba is great name and also just a really cool dude. Hey Shiba, gl out there.
Now the reason this team is 2nd is because of GotCookies. This name isnt bad because I enjoy cookies but it lost points because I cant tell if they are saying they have cookies or they are asking for them. I need more clarity.
Note on this one, normally its major negative points for having numbers in your name so Caetano93 would be garbage but since I was also born in 93 I am going to let it slide for being the goat year.
Overall 9/10
4. Trick House Treeckos: Wanka, Luckypiper, Metariolu7, Floss, Prosaic, Bouff, Crashy, Jase Duken, adjustments, taide, Randompizza, martha, vivalospride
Okay so now we are getting into the not so great names. First we have Wanka, thats a good name. Floss, great name. Bouff good name. All 5 letter beauties that are easy to say and spell. Name gold.
But man we have some bad ones. First off Metariolu7. I hear this guy is really good but what is this. A number... how can you put a number in your name. If you were really that good, you would be Metariolu, thats it. Everyone knows numbers make you a jabroni. Next we have Jase Duken. Not a bad name but did he really put his actual name on smogon? That seems like a psycho move to me. I wouldnt trust this guy. Last we have a bottom 2 name. Randompizza. One word, no space, no capital. It genuinely looks like a name one of my 4th grade students would make and laugh about for a week straight. We need a COPA check on this guy because he might be under 10.
Overall 6.5/10
5. Goldenrod Gengars: Zap, Chaitanya, Dahli, Feitan the Steam, Toadow, Nailec, Croven, Averardo, confide, avarice, Dieu Amphibien
This one on of the harder teams to rate. Zap has a fire name. Three letters and sounds powerful. But next we have Chaitanya and I thought thats supposed to be some peaceful Indian word but Chait never seems peaceful so I dont get it.
Feitan im pretty sure is the skull kid from Hunter x Hunter which isnt bad but writing the steam after it makes it super long and annoying to type so losing points for that. Next is the french name which I wont ever type because I dont want to get carpal tunnel. I like french players but thats just too tough for my tiny american mind to comprehend.
Overall 6/10
6. Dreamyard Darkrais: Kev, Izaya, DugZa, Zukushiku, Feliburn, Ssalbap, trace, EviGaro, Alpha Rabbit, Kaguya Lys, Arifeen, col49
So Kev always says I attack him but honestly he is carrying the Darkrais dead body in this PR. Kev is a sick name, as someone who also have a 3 letter nickname (Pat) he gets extra points. Trace is also a pretty cool one so that helps too.
But damn we got some garbage here. I googles Zukushika but I couldnt find anything so I have no clue what that is, other than annoying to type. Ssalbap looks like they tried to type a normal name but couldnt hold their hands steady enough on the keys. And it just keeps rocketing downhill.
Alpha Rabbit seems like a 6th grader name that people use to play fornite. Kaguya Lys I didnt even bothing googling but I have no clue what it means. Maybe its a name, idk. col49 looks familiar so maybe this guy is old like me and 10 years ago this name was acceptable but two numbers in 2020?! You hate to see that
Overall 5.5/10
7. Mirage Island Milotics: Decem, Perish Song, Empo, Freeroamer, le LLiolae, Mateeus, Cell, ToxaNex, devinn, gorex, yedla, Dr. Reuniclus
This team started out so strong. Decem, Perish Song, Empo. All great names. Decem makes me thing of December which makes me think of Christmas. Perish Song is an og move. Empo is like a cool short version of Empoleon. Then we have Cell, another nice and short name. Four letter names that start with C are fire.
Then we come to trash city. Le lliolae has so many Ls. Starting off the tour with 5 L's already isnt a good sign. gorex and yelda both make no sense. gorex sounds like a napkin you use to clean up blood and yelda reminds me of a mountain witch for some reason. Dr. Reuniclus is a decent name but just way too hard to type so losing points for that.
But I really have to talk about devinn. This shit makes me so made. Like I get it, your name is Devin and you wanted that but it was taken. Happens. But really? you couldnt think of anything better than adding another n? Come on man, you can do better than that.
Overall 5/10
8. Hau'oli Houndooms: Harpp, maroon, North, Trichotomy, Fylkir Pudin, Splash, Days for Dabs, Quaze, Cam, Zugubu Royale, H.M.N.I.P
I havent met Harpp but I hear hes a nice guy so I'm sorry to have to give you a negative name. Just like above with devin, adding another p at the end is a disgrace. Maroon and north both make up for it. Both of those are fire names. Follow that up with Splash and Cam, two more great names.
Now you must be thinking, but Cash they had so many good names how can they be 8th? Thats a good question.
Zugubu Royale is just annoying to type but it's not that bad so how did they lose so many points? It's because hmnip is the worst name i have ever seen on anything in my whole life. How tf do you expect anyone to type that out. I have to use caps and periods every second, it's terrible. Im assuming it stands for Help Me Name Is Puke
Overall 4.5/10
9. Hearthome Honchkrows: sabella, 1truelycan, Star, Eternal Spirit, Gondra, ima, Xiri, Fírnen, TheArchitect_, Corporal Levi, Yami, Jolly Togekiss, 0NI, Chras
I honestly dont even know if I should bother writing this because I doubt half these people will even read this thread. Starting off with the positives. Star and ima are both great names and ima won me a trophy so he gets extra points.
I feel like I have to make a note about 1 true lycan. While this name is complete lycan shit. I know this guy is an absolute beast at battling. So out of respect I will leave it neutral.
But we end off here with some pretty bad names. Firnen isnt too bad but it need a little line thing over the I which I dont even know how to make on my keyboard so that name isnt very inclusive. Corporal Levi is just way too long to to type and since Im at the end of this my hands are tired. The architect literally put an underscore so thats negative ten millions points. Maybe they think this is PSN. And I dont even have words for 0NI, a 0 as an O is a disgrace to their wh0le family.
Overall 3/10
English is my first language but I dont always write every well so it is what it is. If you have any complains feel free to pm me on Smogon where I am sure not to respond.
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