Social LGBTQIA+

This is a bit of a mopey, poorly put together collection of vent bullet points that don’t make much sense but I feel like I want to go through with it anyway.


-I am so pissed that there seems to be no casual way to be non binary like being a man or a woman, like I really would like to identify that way but I couldn’t without flipping my life around

-The fact I may live the rest of my life as a woman is making me sick to my stomach

- I still feel like I’m completely crazy, mentally ill, and making this up whole gender thing up since I learnt about transgender and nonbinary labels early in my life and I don’t know if I’m just copying/pretending for some skewed-up reason

- I used to be very confident in my label as a lesbian but tbh I just feel gross calling myself that now or more specifically I wouldn’t describe my attraction to women as lesbian but not straight either

- I don’t really “feel” like a woman but what does that even mean

- I don’t even know if I have or ever had attraction to ANYONE anymore or if I’m just a huge fan of telling crude jokes to make other people react

-I just wanna be happy and stop having outbursts towards my friends

-I’m such an asshole

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Style_Dota said:
This bitch finally got her name and sex legally changed! Through the roof! I’m in the process of changing all of my documents; did social security and my license yesterday, finishing my paperwork for my birth certificate today.
Getting my BA done in 12 days, and in the process of scheduling my ffs consultation.
I’ve been putting my big girl pants on and really been pushing myself the last couple of days. Proud of how much I’ve done
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Just as a follow up to this, currently recovering from my surgery! If anyone has chest dysphoria, if you have the resources to get this, you 100% should. I woke up from my anesthesia, looked down and instantly started crying from happiness.

The first few days SUCK though, and you literally can’t do anything, so make sure that you have a good support system to help you.
 
Hey, I wanted to ask a question that I had after argument I had.
So how I understand it is that gender identity isn't defined by body or mannerisms or how people perceive you, but gender goes hand in hand with your expression, by the way you present yourself, via how you look, the clothes you wear, and how you act. Like you can be AMAB and be super femme, or more masc leaning, but still be transfem, without taking HRT or bottom surgery, and be happy with a good support group. But dysphoria is a real thing that can be plaguing even if you know your gender identity, as is gender envy which makes you want to look and possess a body that you don't currently have but would really like to. Even if you pass to yourself and to others, what pushes one to pursue HRT and/or bottom surgery to align with a gender identity they are comfortable with ? Basically I'm trying to say is : why change your body to conform to your gender identity/expression, even if it leaves you better off, when your gender shouldn't be shackled by your body ?

trans person : gender is beyond the body, I am free not having to consider myself AGAB, my body will not affect how I perceive myself, I am content.
also trans person : bro the gender envy is real they're so goals I WANT TO HAVE THAT BODY SO BAAAAAAAAD :psycry:

free from body changing one's perception, yet yearning to change one's body to enhance one's perception LMAO
​
​

also merry chrimmas and happy holidays with the loved ones who support you :)
 
SkyOfSouls said:
Hey, I wanted to ask a question that I had after argument I had.
So how I understand it is that gender identity isn't defined by body or mannerisms or how people perceive you, but gender goes hand in hand with your expression, by the way you present yourself, via how you look, the clothes you wear, and how you act. Like you can be AMAB and be super femme, or more masc leaning, but still be transfem, without taking HRT or bottom surgery, and be happy with a good support group. But dysphoria is a real thing that can be plaguing even if you know your gender identity, as is gender envy which makes you want to look and possess a body that you don't currently have but would really like to. Even if you pass to yourself and to others, what pushes one to pursue HRT and/or bottom surgery to align with a gender identity they are comfortable with ? Basically I'm trying to say is : why change your body to conform to your gender identity/expression, even if it leaves you better off, when your gender shouldn't be shackled by your body ?

trans person : gender is beyond the body, I am free not having to consider myself AGAB, my body will not affect how I perceive myself, I am content.
also trans person : bro the gender envy is real they're so goals I WANT TO HAVE THAT BODY SO BAAAAAAAAD :psycry:

free from body changing one's perception, yet yearning to change one's body to enhance one's perception LMAO
​
​

also merry chrimmas and happy holidays with the loved ones who support you :)
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because im happier with this body than i would be without it
 
SkyOfSouls said:
Hey, I wanted to ask a question that I had after argument I had.
So how I understand it is that gender identity isn't defined by body or mannerisms or how people perceive you, but gender goes hand in hand with your expression, by the way you present yourself, via how you look, the clothes you wear, and how you act. Like you can be AMAB and be super femme, or more masc leaning, but still be transfem, without taking HRT or bottom surgery, and be happy with a good support group. But dysphoria is a real thing that can be plaguing even if you know your gender identity, as is gender envy which makes you want to look and possess a body that you don't currently have but would really like to. Even if you pass to yourself and to others, what pushes one to pursue HRT and/or bottom surgery to align with a gender identity they are comfortable with ? Basically I'm trying to say is : why change your body to conform to your gender identity/expression, even if it leaves you better off, when your gender shouldn't be shackled by your body ?

trans person : gender is beyond the body, I am free not having to consider myself AGAB, my body will not affect how I perceive myself, I am content.
also trans person : bro the gender envy is real they're so goals I WANT TO HAVE THAT BODY SO BAAAAAAAAD :psycry:

free from body changing one's perception, yet yearning to change one's body to enhance one's perception LMAO
​
​

also merry chrimmas and happy holidays with the loved ones who support you :)
Click to expand...
An incongruince between ones gender and ones sex at birth can be distressing (dysphoric). The process of medical transition brings ones body more in line with their gender.

The blanket statement that gender should not be determined by our bodies alone is one that is true, but we live in a world where socially speaking our bodies determine how our gender is perceived by others and even ourselves. If taking HRT or undergoing the process of medical transition improves our perception (passing) in society, and/or improves our own dysphoria of ourselves, then it is a good step to do so.

The "Basically" spoiler is just not accurate - its a false perception and homogonizes a lot of trans people. I don't know anyone who considers both of those two statements simultaneously. "Gender is beyond the body" DOES NOT EQUIVOCATE to "my body will not affect how I perceive myself". Thats a giant leap.

(Speaking as someone who is very much what folks would call a "binary" and maybe "passing" trans woman, I could give a fuck about the fluidity or ambiguousness of gender. Im a woman plain and simple and generally want to have as close to a cis woman's body as I can.)

"Basically": Gender identity is not physical, its mental. When sex and gender identity don't align, that can be very negative for trans people. HRT/Transition fixes this.
 
SkyOfSouls said:
Hey, I wanted to ask a question that I had after argument I had.
So how I understand it is that gender identity isn't defined by body or mannerisms or how people perceive you, but gender goes hand in hand with your expression, by the way you present yourself, via how you look, the clothes you wear, and how you act. Like you can be AMAB and be super femme, or more masc leaning, but still be transfem, without taking HRT or bottom surgery, and be happy with a good support group. But dysphoria is a real thing that can be plaguing even if you know your gender identity, as is gender envy which makes you want to look and possess a body that you don't currently have but would really like to. Even if you pass to yourself and to others, what pushes one to pursue HRT and/or bottom surgery to align with a gender identity they are comfortable with ? Basically I'm trying to say is : why change your body to conform to your gender identity/expression, even if it leaves you better off, when your gender shouldn't be shackled by your body ?

trans person : gender is beyond the body, I am free not having to consider myself AGAB, my body will not affect how I perceive myself, I am content.
also trans person : bro the gender envy is real they're so goals I WANT TO HAVE THAT BODY SO BAAAAAAAAD :psycry:

free from body changing one's perception, yet yearning to change one's body to enhance one's perception LMAO
​
​

also merry chrimmas and happy holidays with the loved ones who support you :)
Click to expand...
Jawsome and Addison gave two good answers, i'll give another point of view.

It is relatively easy to know the fact, the rational-logical data point, that gender transcends the physical form. It is harder to truly, deeply, internalize that truth.

Say you're a trans girl without physical transition. You know inside you're a girl, and you look in the mirror and see a face that society generally says is a boy's face. You rationally know how to resolve this contradiction – that society is mistaken in this particular case, and you are correct. Still, having the full throated confidence to shout "No, all of you are wrong!" is hard. It is especially hard because it's confidence in something you believe about yourself, something you are in your heart, and not something you can prove with a google search to win an argument.

When it comes to trans-ness without physical transition, I think of it similarly to a large, obvious scar that someone is insecure about. You can tell them they're beautiful the way they are, that people who react negatively to the scar are acting thoughtlessly and badly, and that it's what inside that counts anyway. And you'd be right. But that doesn't mean the person will just immediately lose all insecurity about their appearance.
 
Addison said:
An incongruince between ones gender and ones sex at birth can be distressing (dysphoric). The process of medical transition brings ones body more in line with their gender.

The blanket statement that gender should not be determined by our bodies alone is one that is true, but we live in a world where socially speaking our bodies determine how our gender is perceived by others and even ourselves. If taking HRT or undergoing the process of medical transition improves our perception (passing) in society, and/or improves our own dysphoria of ourselves, then it is a good step to do so.

The "Basically" spoiler is just not accurate - its a false perception and homogonizes a lot of trans people. I don't know anyone who considers both of those two statements simultaneously. "Gender is beyond the body" DOES NOT EQUIVOCATE to "my body will not affect how I perceive myself". Thats a giant leap.

(Speaking as someone who is very much what folks would call a "binary" and maybe "passing" trans woman, I could give a fuck about the fluidity or ambiguousness of gender. Im a woman plain and simple and generally want to have as close to a cis woman's body as I can.)

"Basically": Gender identity is not physical, its mental. When sex and gender identity don't align, that can be very negative for trans people. HRT/Transition fixes this.
Click to expand...
Adeleine said:
Jawsome and Addison gave two good answers, i'll give another point of view.

It is relatively easy to know the fact, the rational-logical data point, that gender transcends the physical form. It is harder to truly, deeply, internalize that truth.

Say you're a trans girl without physical transition. You know inside you're a girl, and you look in the mirror and see a face that society generally says is a boy's face. You rationally know how to resolve this contradiction – that society is mistaken in this particular case, and you are correct. Still, having the full throated confidence to shout "No, all of you are wrong!" is hard. It is especially hard because it's confidence in something you believe about yourself, something you are in your heart, and not something you can prove with a google search to win an argument.

When it comes to trans-ness without physical transition, I think of it similarly to a large, obvious scar that someone is insecure about. You can tell them they're beautiful the way they are, that people who react negatively to the scar are acting thoughtlessly and badly, and that it's what inside that counts anyway. And you'd be right. But that doesn't mean the person will just immediately lose all insecurity about their appearance.
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thanks a lot for the answers, it helps me understand the struggle more ! :blobthumbsup:
(also sorry for anything mean I said, I wasn't very tactful and this had confusing me for some time. wasn't nice of me to include that spoiler in hindsight).
 
hey all. I haven't been an active poster on this site for a very long time and only really check back in to follow spl/wcop but I've been reading over the posts in this thread for the past couple weeks which has helped me a little in trying to articulate my thoughts. this post is me coming out as bisexual. it feels weird typing this being this honest about it.. I've only ever told a couple online friends who have been nothing but supportive but I'm not quite sure I would get the same reception if I shared it with the people closest to me

I live in a really rural area in the southern part of england and work on a building site so you don't have to think too hard about the perception and attitudes toward lgbtq folk from most people. the people I work with regularly make degrading comments about people who aren't straight, which I always have to awkwardly laugh around and try and get away from which admittedly is chicken shit from me but also I know I'm not going to change these people's opinions and only going to ostracise myself. it feels bad having to roll over to those comments and even worse knowing that their perception of me would flip like a light switch if I was being truly honest about who I was

I'm not sure I would ever tell those people but I would like to be open with my close family knowing that they probably would be against it anyway. is there ever a right time to have that conversation, and is it always worth having it? I know the easy answer is just "yea get it over with" but a large part of me is honestly just considering waiting until my parents die and then not having to confront it at all which I know is pathetic but my parents are my best friends and the thought of them shutting me out is much worse than just sucking it up for a while. my cousin is gay and has been in a long term relationship with his partner for years now and just before christmas they got engaged. the reaction from extended family has been really weird like people are dancing around the subject and people including my own parents make shitty off handed comments which just reinforces the idea that being interested in dudes is a disqualifying trait for them apparently

I do feel a little silly coming to terms with this now in my late 20s. I spent most of my teenage and formative years being someone who was never interested in relationships and never had the courage to put myself out there. I've been using dating apps on and off for the past few months only ever describing myself as straight or bicurous feeling like some piece of shit straight guy who wants to experiment, feeling like I missed the window to have that experience which is obviously isn't true but I couldn't help shake the feeling for a while like I was taking someone for granted

it does feel freeing to have somewhere to put all this out there though. I spent a few evenings browsing through the thread and it was hard to believe this was the same Smogon I signed up to when I was 16. I remember playing on smogon's pokemon online server when you could have a winning message of your choice which I'll leave up to your imagination.. I remember trying to fumble my way into smogon affiliated IRC channels with dudes with authority in their late 20s who leant a little too hard into bigoted rhetoric. it's neat to see how the culture has shifted even in something like a pokemon forum where the out of pocket stuff people felt comfortable saying isn't tolerated anymore. it's also sick to see people who are like 17 who are so sure of who they are and have it all figured out like damn this was hard enough for me to get around in my late 20s

I don't really have anything else to say. I probably spent the last hour or so writing and deleting shit before I settled on this. thanks
 
vesp said:
kind of surprised I've not seen anything in this thread about Idaho republicans attempting to repeal Obergefell v Hodges. So I figured I'd post it here for fellow Americans.
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I'm really not looking forward to the increase in these kinds of asinine attempts to drag us back in time in the coming years. These people really just cannot fathom letting others live their lives how they want to. It's absolutely infuriating.
 
Some folks really don't like their kids knowing that LGBTQ+ people exist. The ruling is probably going to go as everyone expects, with religious parents being given even more power to control their children's education about anything and everything they deem against their beliefs. These kinds of parents don't seem to understand how a lot of children work, though. The more you try to keep them from learning things about the world, the more they're going to seek out that knowledge in time out of curiosity. If they end up being LGBTQ+ themselves, they'll feel completely alone and confused because their parents didn't want to them to learn about people different from themselves.
 
DerpySuX said:
As of yesterday Donald Trump signed an executive order that only recognizes the binary sexes legally.
Nonbinaries and Genderfluids like myself no longer legally exist in America.

Very cool, not concerning at all
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On a federal level transgender men and women don't exist either legally thanks to that executive order nor do intersex people, not sure how this will impact laws in Democrats led states, but yeah these Putin-Regime "Homo-Propaganda" laws against especially trans and inter are also under way to be implemented in some western european countries in the near future.
 
PSA: The executive order doesn’t go into effect for two months, so if you need to get your passport changed, do it ASAP, and have it done via an expedited process. I plan on having that done today, as that’s the last government issued document I need.

I just had a friend who was beginning her transition tell me last night that she was too afraid to continue and is stopping her HRT and it broke my fucking heart.

Remember, the moment we give in is the moment they win. Continue to exist and be your beautiful, authentic selves. Resist by not letting the bigotry erase you.

Edit: well the website for passports removed the information page about gender markers so that’s a lovely sign. Might not be possible for the NB fam to get it changed :/

Edit2: it turns out the orders might have gone into effect immediately, but expect legal action to block them from taking effect almost immediately
 
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