IT WAS ME BARRY

[BP]

"Barry, do you remember when you were 7 and you you were at your friends house playing N64 and you made pizza rolls and waited for them to cool off but they still burned your mouth and you had to spit it out? It was me Barry, I was the one who reheated those pizza rolls!"

 

[phoopes]

I don't get the joke unless the name is Austin

 

[Sijih]

"Barry, do you remember when you missed every single jumpshot in the pickup game you played in 9th grade, then never played basketball again? It was me tapping your shooting hand to make those shots go off target. It was me the whole time Barry!"

"Barry, do you remember when you misclicked a coverage move in the last game you needed to get to top 10 on the ADV randbats ladder? It was me who moved the mouse at the last second!"

"Barry, do you remember when you opened the fridge and then forgot what you were looking for? It was me who temporarily knocked you unconscious so that you would forget! You were staring at the open fridge like a fool!"

 

[BP]

"Barry, do you remember when you rolled your ankle in the 7th grade and missed that basketball game? It was me Barry, I was the one who dug that inconvenient hole."

 

[boo836]

Everybody in tenth grade thought you shit your pants while walking down the hallway, didn't they Barry? A mid-sized turd fell out of your shorts. I bet it perplexed you that when you tried to prove everyone wrong showing off your clean underpants like a deranged man that there was a small skid mark on the pants after you left the change room. It was my shit, Barry. I even drew a stain on the pants with the same shit i dropped out of your shorts. It wasn't just then either, the note left by your mother two weeks before to have a clean change of clothes in your locker? I did that, knowing it would lead everyone to believe you shit your pants as a regular occurrence. I am behind every time you've shit your pants, even that time at the Justice League of America holiday party when you got fucked up injecting carfentanyl into your heart. I phaseshifted to occupy the same spatial positioning as you within your pants and took a shit. You thought it was you taking that shit from a relaxed muscle response the entire time, but it was me, Barry! I'm why Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman calls you Scarlet Skidmark behind your back!

 

[BP]

"Barry, do you remember when your mother told you to Dethaw the chicken while she was at work. You put it out so cautiously in a bowl filled with water. When your mother got home she found the chicken still in the freezer. It was me Barry, I put the chicken back in the freezer at supersonic speeds so that your mother would whoop your ass with the wooden spoon again!