Serious Girlfriend/Boyfriend Discussion

Conni

Conni

katharsis
It's normal in life to have someone you love, and it's totally normal if that someone loves you back, that is indeed a romantic relationship. But sometimes, maybe your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't see eye to eye with you, or you don't like the same things, but that's totally normal. Rocky relationships are always out there, but it's up to the both of you to start smoothing out, either coming to a consensus or learning from each other, is always a new experience for both of you. It's ok to think, "man, what is with him/her today?", because your relationship isn't always going to be all lovey dovey, of course there's going to be a few bumps, but it's up to you to change that, and maybe become more happier together :)

So the point of this thread is to talk about your gf/bf, and maybe you can ask questions and other people who understand or have a gf/bf can try to answer your question, as we would want to help a person in need, in order to please or make your loved one happy. If you aren't comfortable with sharing, that's totally fine, you can lurk and see other people's responses/discussions, and maybe learn quietly.

As long as you're happy with your gf/bf, and that you like being with each other, personally, I think that's the best part of love. You enjoy and you cherish the time you spend together, and you want to preserve that feeling forever, and I think that's one of the best feelings that you'll ever feel in your life.

So ask away if you have any questions about the topic, I'll try to answer them with my own experience as much as I can, ofc other people can try to answer too :) You can share stories or experiences as well, anything that makes you comfortable or happy with sharing is most welcome!
 
My boyfriend had been my boyfriend for 4 years by now.
We met in a Hong Kong Pokemon tournament, but back then we were too young for anything love related. We didn't start dating until we were enrolled in the same uni.

Back then, he studied chemistry, and I studied biology, and I was struggling with Biochemistry and maths for biology, so he helped me a lot with my homework and lab reports.
We also played Pokemon BW together, and he was amazed how I could beat him in a double battle, since he was Champion of Hong Kong for Ruby and Sapphire for once.
He also expressed how he liked my strategy.

Sadly, he isn't that much into Pokemon XY, and he later expressed how he felt that I was too obsessed in Pokemon.
However, he said he's going to play Pokemon Sun because Megas are banned in VGC 2017.
Both of us hated how Megas shifted the attack-defense balance in the Pokemon metagame.
Both of us did horribly during VGC 2013~2016, averaging 1300 on Showdown.
Hopefully, with megas being banned in VGC 2017, our scores can go back up to 1700. (What we were during Gen 5)
 
Yo so I met My girl friend back in 7th grade but I never really noticed her; she was more of the quiet type. I played sports so I was usually considered more of the Jock type. Around Sophmore year in Highschool (Last year) we had social studies class together and we had assigned seats right next to each other. We worked on a group project later that year about hindu gods and honestly I loved making her laugh. Sometime later we started talking more and more; then this senior nobody like slid in and stole her.

Over the summer I learned that they had broken up but I had deleted her number unfortunately. I later contacted her friend at the beginning of October and got her number. We began talking again and we have now dated for around 2 weeks.

This is us:
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i don't have a gf but i wish i did :(

any advice for getting a gf? please don't link that dumb firebot thread lol ;P
 
Rowan said:
i don't have a gf but i wish i did :(

any advice for getting a gf? please don't link that dumb firebot thread lol ;P
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Maybe find a hobby that has a higher female to male ratio? And then go to a related forum?
Competitive Pokemon is like 1:9 female to male, so it's difficult to get girls here.
I think of crafting, for example.
Or like nail art or something girly.
Maybe even K pop.
 
Rowan said:
i don't have a gf but i wish i did :(

any advice for getting a gf? please don't link that dumb firebot thread lol ;P
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You can maybe start hanging around more with female friends, and maybe get closer eventually, although you should know each other for a long time and have some things in common or that something you like about her and something she likes about you. Like my girlfriend is a friend from elementary school who actually now is my neighbor and we hang out a lot, like we have the same taste of anime (yes, we're both weebs), we have different food favorites so we switch turns (etc.). Basically, someone you've known for a long time and have a good friendship, and at least somethings in common, and this might lead to a healthy relationship. Although there are other methods, GL anyways :)
 
Rowan said:
i don't have a gf but i wish i did :(

any advice for getting a gf? please don't link that dumb firebot thread lol ;P
Click to expand...

Use Craiglist theres lots of potential girlfriend material on there.


I met my girlfriend and bestfriend a couple years at a program in college. We had a pretty solid relationship for a year and now we are taking a break so we can focus on getting our lifes together. She is seriously such a amazing women and her family is very supportive to.
 
Relationships are what people invented so they don't feel lonely at nights, i on the other hand im too busy to have a gf, although i do get laid with more than 20 different girls a year, all you need in a university/college is to have a decent car, girls will come running, i'm not even kitting if you ever been in a uni you will know what im talking about.

I've never been in a relationship that lasted more than one week, last thing i want is some girlfriend texting me like 50 times a day, begging me to hangout with her boring and shitty group of friends in the same ol' places so we can have the same type of conversations that constantly revolve around classes and other boring staff, bitch please, i have my own blend of friends that's many times better than yours and if i want to have fun i know exactly how to do it my self.
 
for me the awkward part has always been establishing when you're actually a couple. say you've been dating this girl for 4 weeks. does that make her your gf? not to me it doesn't. but what if she thinks you're her bf? relationships are weird, man.

e.g. of what i want to avoid in life and have been blessed thus far to never have had to:

me: so... are we, like, a thing?
her: what do you mean a thing? like bf/gf? of course we are. what the hell did you think we were?
me: getting to know each other? .-.
 
Conni said:
Actually a smogon couple is really nice :)
if only my gf would go on smogon ;;
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It's difficult to force a boyfriend/ girlfriend into a hobby though.
My boyfriend tried really hard to get me into chess, including constantly saying that I'm talented.
But in the end, I'm just not interested.

At the same time, men probably don't want to have anything to do with make up, shopping, and average girl gossip.

UncleSam said:
14633622_1205276779534498_4191566309637372526_o.jpg

Walkin' down the beach with the sweetest girl in the world <3
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Both of you are really good looking!
But I hope both of you treasure personality and shared hobbies more than looks.

I've never been in a relationship that lasted more than one week, last thing i want is some girlfriend texting me like 50 times a day, begging me to hangout with her boring and shitty group of friends in the same ol' places so we can have the same type of conversations that constantly revolve around classes and other boring staff, bitch please, i have my own blend of friends that's many times better than yours and if i want to have fun i know exactly how to do it my self.
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Texting boyfriends for more than 10 times a day is already annoying enough.
But sadly, most non-science females are going to do it, because they want something called "attention".
These females hardly know what a boyfriend is for, and they probably want to show off that they have a boyfriend or something.
 
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me from my well said:
so my freshman year of college, i joined the uni filmmaker organization, intending on grouping up with some people from one of my classes. Those people declined to show up, so in a panic I grabbed a guy I met at orientation, who grabbed a girl HE met during orientation, who grabbed a girl SHE met at orientation. That girl at the end of the chain is the aforementioned gf. We spent the first few months as just friends before I gradually came to realize "oh no she's cute" but the feeling was mutual so it worked out. This December we'll have been together for 2 years.
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so yeah

here's an Actual Good Pic of us (excuse artsy grayscale):
12729362_1152571381422816_6863585602041790068_n.jpg

and here's a Quite Terrible pic of us:
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7 hot protips for getting girl to like you back:
1. don't refer to girls as "females"
2. i'm serious don't
3. give a shit about her life/hobbies/etc
4. give a shit in general
5. pretend you know what you're doing, even if you don't (i never have and never will)
6. take a shower every once in a while. looking greasy is a nail in the coffin, as is smelling like ass (a problem deodorant alone will not solve)
7. relationships take effort. there will be times where you'll have to cancel your plans of sitting around watching anime to spend time with your significant other. things don't just "work out", you have to make them. this kinda falls under #4 but whatever

also let the record show that she doesn't play pokemon and wouldn't be caught dead on smogon dot com and yet STILL made me a little shrink plastic Walrein cause she's fuckin great
0VyIbYS.jpg
 
faint said:
for me the awkward part has always been establishing when you're actually a couple. say you've been dating this girl for 4 weeks. does that make her your gf? not to me it doesn't. but what if she thinks you're her bf? relationships are weird, man.

e.g. of what i want to avoid in life and have been blessed thus far to never have had to:

me: so... are we, like, a thing?
her: what do you mean a thing? like bf/gf? of course we are. what the hell did you think we were?
me: getting to know each other? .-.
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man if that happens you're dealing with a goddamn creep. I was surprised when one of my workmates had been dating a dude for a month and she called him her boyfriend when it had clearly never been stated what they were. honestly I even think a month or two is very damn short. it's really up to the person you're dating I guess? if a guy asked me in the span of a month or a week "what are we", I'd back the fuck out. it's a bit awkward to think at first though ngl, "when will be ready to make the next step"; but there's really not set of time, you'll actually notice when you're ready.


s to myself, my last serious relationship was over a year ago and it lasted almost a year, it was admittedly a very long (~20hs long flight) distance relationship and it was beautiful while it lasted, but it just didn't work. I was single for a long while and then I started dating another guy, but that's about it
 
anto said:
man if that happens you're dealing with a goddamn creep. I was surprised when one of my workmates had been dating a dude for a month and she called him her boyfriend when it had clearly never been stated what they were. honestly I even think a month or two is very damn short. it's really up to the person you're dating I guess? if a guy asked me in the span of a month or a week "what are we", I'd back the fuck out. it's a bit awkward to think at first though ngl, "when will be ready to make the next step"; but there's really not set of time, you'll actually notice when you're ready.


s to myself, my last serious relationship was over a year ago and it lasted almost a year, it was admittedly a very long (~20hs long flight) distance relationship and it was beautiful while it lasted, but it just didn't work. I was single for a long while and then I started dating another guy, but that's about it
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It varies from person to person, some feel the need to "define" the relationship, others have a set idea on an amount of time. Personally I'd be quite surprised to be referred to as a boyfriend within the first month, unless you know, they are the one. Then again some people (girls especially in my experience) need to be able to specifically say that you're their boyfriend, whether its to warn off other girls (eep!) or to reassure themselves. After 2 months+ I think both should have a good idea of where the relationship is at.
 
I've had a relationship with a beautiful girl named Paige for just about seven months now, going on 8 at the end of the month.

A popular running joke is our "ship name", Chapter, which is a play on how both of our names are Paige, granted, mine has a Y instead of an I. People also find the age difference cute (I'm 18, she's 21), as well as the height difference. (I'm 5'10", she's 4'7".)

Something that people seemingly think I have the patience of a saint for is that Paige has vocal cord paresis, which means that if she speaks too loud, she runs the risk of tearing her vocal cords and dying of internal bleeding. That's what my understanding is, anyway.

I actually sat down with her and learned sign language with her so we had a way to communicate that was safe for her and easier than writing things down. I care a lot for her, more than I could really say. I don't think a lot of people seem to understand that when you love someone more than you can really say, you're willing to do anything and everything for them. Hell, I'd give Paige my own vocal cords if she needed them. I just want her to be safe, happy, and love her life as much as she can, and I'll do anything within my power to give her that.
 
i have a general question and i'm interested in how people have approached this/what they think of it:

does your significant other know that you play mons? for most people it might be yes and they might not see it as a big deal, but there's a good number that are just too afraid of what their significant other will think to share. to extend that, do you think it's necessarily a sign of a bad/untrusting relationship if you aren't comfortable sharing that information?

to share my personal experience without sharing every detail of my romantic history (for context, i did some mildly embarrassing weeb stuff - not just watching anime, a step or two further - before i joined smogon), i did feel comfortable sharing it with my first girl and she was totally whatever, but we also unironically discussed marriage and i think i could have told her i committed murder and she still would've stayed with me so lol. my second girl was also into that kind of stuff, which obviously made it really easy. the next few weren't rly important enough for it to ever come up, but my most recent girl i was pretty serious with but never felt ok sharing (at this point i had already joined smogon), because she was just..idk too "cool", not to say i felt uncomfortable being myself around her, but i just wasn't sure how she'd react to the whole comp mons thing. fortunately Earth already knows i play pkmn so that's a relief

so yeah, how have you guys approached this dilemma? some explanation of how you brought it up / how you've managed to hide it would be interesting as well.
 
Threw

Yes. We were talking on the phone I exclaimed "Son of a Bitch!" and then we had a conversation about what was wrong because I was salty af. She really didn't mind at all. I'll be on the phone with her and say "damn it" and she'll be like "okay just close the laptop." She honestly doesn't care just like I don't care about her weird obsession with The 1975. If she doesn't like one of my hobbies that I enjoy then what is the point of being together. If it makes her feel less popular then make her decide.

However I do not believe you should talk about it constantly or even really once in awhile with your significant other. You should instead just have normal conversations. Don't let a hobby consume your life and if it does I can understand if your significant other doesn't want to continue the relationship.
 
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