i use to a lot more until [and perhaps this is normal, perhaps its odd] i lost some key people in my life which kind of made me realize how fleeting it all is, really. ive always battled bi polar depression so to say mortality was always a fear of mine would be insincere to save going to deep into "how dark it can get" but there is certainly times i fear say.... not getting to have a family and be a father/husband [i already lost out on dreams of my grandpa at my wedding, father as a grandpa (actively) to my children, sadly], or if ill ever get things in order before some random thing be it a depression, time, or accident taking me out. its scary, but in a way after losing those key people it empowered me in a way like realizing the time you have is the time you have, if i wanna be the quality of person i upheld them to be i need to act, not fear.