Celebi (Baton Pass Update) (QC 2/3) (GP 0/2)

[Kingler]

What the fuck i go off for some time and so many replies. Will address these later, on mobile device atm.

 

[Seven Deadly Sins]

It's going to take a lot to get this analysis to be worthy of the final QC stamp. There's no other way around it, the content here is just so anemic that it's hard to call this a proper revamp. The current BP Celebi analysis has so much content that to replace it with this one would be doing a disservice to the analysis as a whole.

Just off the top of my head, the following things really need to be addressed:

• There is absolutely no mention of how to actually *use* the set. Baton Pass isn't one of those things where it's totally obvious when to use it, and this set is no exception. The original analysis had an outstanding paragraph on how to bring Celebi in and make use of it. Something similar is sorely needed here.
• There's no real mention of *why* to use Celebi for baton passing. It doesn't look especially outstanding for it on its face, honestly, so it needs a hair of selling, at least in relation to things that pass the same moves (Mew most notably).
• The additional comments is incredibly sparse. There's no mention of how 252 HP gives 101 Substitutes, which lets it set up on Chansey/Blissey with impunity. There's no mention of other spreads, while the other mentions some Special Attack investment to OHKO common Celebi switchins like Heatran and Scizor. There's no mention of other moves, like Earth Power or Magic Coat. For a Pokemon with so many options, this analysis misses the mark.
• The team options section is dreadful. It's unacceptable to just list off a huge list of Pokemon that you can put on the team without even seriously attempting to mention why. The original analysis doesn't bother to mention most sweeper allies / BP recipients, because those are blindingly obvious to anyone who has ever thought, "You know what would own on this Pokemon? A free <insert boosting move here> passed to it!" What this analysis needs is mentions of Pokemon that work well outside of being recipients. Defensive synergies for taking nasty opposing attacks. Utility synergies like Espeon (who is one of the best recipients due to Magic Bounce and Stored Power, and isn't even mentioned? Come on!) and Heatran (terrifying with CM/NP and really really good against a lot of Celebi checks, especially Scizor).
• Vague filler writing is unacceptable. Stating the obvious ("this variant of celebi focuses on passing stat boosts to its team members to help facilitate a sweep"), stating the inaccurate ("Whereas the specially defensive variant is easily walled due to its poor coverage, this set can beat those walls by baton passing these boosts to an appropriate teammate." - this is pointless because this set is not for the benefit of celebi, it's for the benefit of the team and the sweepers involved).
• I won't even get started on the grammar, except to note that a lack of basic capitalization shows a serious lack of care on this analysis, and that it's generally a harbinger of bad times to come in the GP phase.

Overall, this writeup fails on all counts. It's going to need serious, serious work until this can earn its last stamp. If this analysis doesn't turn around real quick, it's in serious danger of being either reassigned or just handled via SCMS. Step it up.

 

[Kingler]

@Seven Deadly Sins I will try my best. All I have done uptil now is follow the points, I will edit it now and hopefully it will be worthy. Again, thanks for the help.

 

[Kingler]

I updated it, although I wasn't sure what

It is a great supporter for offensive teams that don't want a defensive dead weight to cover

meant. I'm still going through @Seven Deadly Sins post and will edit this post then.
Also please don't reassign this :3 I'm online a lot of the time and would love to constantly update it, even if it means a lot of changes. Thanks for the help. :)
Edit- Updated it, not sure how to make "this variant of celebi focuses on passing stat boosts or Substitutes to its team members to help facilitate a sweep" clearer.

 

[Seven Deadly Sins]

The fact that you can't think of how to make an extremely vague statement clearer shows that you aren't equipped to handle this analysis. An easy way to say it?

"The ease of walling Celebi means that it often brings in some of the top walls in OU to shut it down. Baton Pass turns that on its head by using opposing walls as setup bait before passing boosts to the most threatening sweepers in OU."

You also showed that you apparently have no sense of reading comprehension. Of my noted exceptions with the original analysis, nearly none of them have been addressed.

• There is STILL no mention of 101 Substitutes. That was a gimme if I ever saw one, and the fact that you couldn't even take an obvious suggestion and work it in anywhere makes it hard to think that you'll be able to effectively address changes. There's also no mention of other spreads, something I really wanted to see.
• Capitalization failures abound. Moves and types (and even Pokemon) are consistently not capitalized, which just shows a lack of care and ability to edit. I know that GP exists for a reason, but we shouldn't have to hold the writer's hand on even the most basic of grammatical issues.
• No addressing of vague filler writing. Words have to mean something, and the words "facilitate a sweep" mean nothing. Everything you do is looking to facilitate a sweep, because that's what the rest of the team does. It says nothing about how to use it. And again, I specifically asked about information about how to actually use the Pokemon in the analysis, and there still is none.
• Team Options is straight up barely changed. Sure, you included Heatran, but you included barely any information about why it's good (hint: it being specially based has barely anything to do with the reason it's good, I specifically mentioned it as a *defensive* teammate). You dropped a few words in there to make it look like there were more words, but again, more words != more content.

While I appreciate your dedication to the analysis, dedication can only take you so far. We don't want someone who is going to constantly update an analysis and "make a lot of changes". We want someone who is going to actually internalize and acknowledge the changes that are needed, and from what you've shown here, that doesn't appear to be you.

Honestly, if you keep up that dedication, you have potential here, but when you're doing an important part of an important analysis in the twilight of a generation (which generally means that the analyses tend to go into semi-stasis, so it's super important that everything going on the site now be of the utmost quality. I suggest that you take some time to work on your analysis skills, and when you return, try to take some time and focus a bit more on accuracy and internalizing all of the requests made.

This analysis will be reassigned in the days to come. I'm going to close this but leave it unmoved until it has been reassigned for reference purposes. Feel free to PM either me or PK Gaming (or preferably both) if you'd like to take up this analysis.