Milak
Stoïque fierté
Torterra's niche largely comes from it's good coverage, access to Rock Polish, [ac] and solid natural bulk, [ac] making it a functional sweeper in the late-game that can be difficult to take down without super- [as]effective coverage.
- Make sure you format your changes in the clearest way possible, stuff like Torterra's or it's can be very easy to miss by writers. The two possible solutions are:
- - Using comments -> Torterra's (AA) it's (RA)
- - Simply writing the full correction -> Torterras Torterra's
- The same applies for super- [as] effective coverage: it is unclear what you're adding and removing, so always remember to use the appropriate colors: blue for additions, red for removals, and green / purple / yellow or whatever you like (even black works) for comments. In this case, it would be "super-(RH)effective or super-effective super effective"
- late-, mid-, and early-game are treated like adverbs or adjectives, not nouns, so structures like "during / in the late-game" cannot be accepted. "[...] making it a functional late-game sweeper" -> this is better.
Torterra can also support its team as a wallbreaker in matchups where sweeping is unlikely, [ac] which gives it some flexibility. Unfortunately, Torterra's low speed Speed makes it incredibly reliant on obtaining a Rock Polish boost to not be immediately threatened by the myriad of Pokemon foes who are faster than it, such as Aerodactyl, Sigilyph, Sneasel, [ac] and Delphox.
- A few unnecessary changes: "some flexibility" is not really something worth changing, and "Unfortunately" here seems more appropriate, as the author has just finished listing the Pokemon's traits and will now proceed to mention some of its drawbacks & flaws, so please be careful with subjective changes and stick to the stuff you 100% know it's wrong like spelling & evident grammar mistakes.
- "the myriad of Pokemon foes who are faster than it" -> while it is true that foes can be used to refer to opposing Pokemon, by removing "myriad of" you are slightly altering the content of the analysis, as the author is trying to emphasize how Torterra is outsped by a large portion of the metagame. Again, be careful with this.
- "Who" should never be used to refer to Pokemon; always use "that" or "which" accordingly, and for more info on how to use them, see this:
The two words "that" and "which" are not interchangeable: "that" should only be used in a restrictive sense, while "which" should only be used in a non-restrictive sense. More simply, this means that if the sentence's meaning doesn't change with the inclusion of the that/which clause, "which" should be used. If it does, "that" should be used.
- e.g. Pokemon that are weak to Stealth Rock, such as Kyurem-B, appreciate having spinblockers on their team. vs Ice-types, which traditionally have been neglected on defensive teams, have become more popular on stall.
- In the first sentence, "that" specifies a specific set of Pokemon—those that are weak to Stealth Rock. This attribute is not true for all Pokemon, so the sentence's meaning changes with the inclusion of the clause, necessitating the use of "that" and not "which".
- Conversely, in the second sentence, the assumption that is made is that all Ice-types have been neglected on defensive teams, so the sentence's meaning doesn't change without the clause. "Which" is thus the word to go for here.
Additionally, despite Torterra's great coverage, it struggles greatly with Pokemon against foes like Weezing and Dhelmise who are to bulky to overwhelm without Swords Dance. Torterra is also marred by a neutrality to Water and a severe weakness to Scald,[ac] which maekesmakes it less splashable harder to use given the opportunity cost of using it over other, more consistent Grass Types Grass-types like Whimsicott and Sceptile.
- with Pokemon against foes -> again, not something I would personally change, as it does not improve the quality of the writing in any way.
- who are to bulky to overwhelm without Swords Dance -> removing this slightly alters the content, which is something we are not supposed to unfortunately. The correct change here would've been "Dhelmise who are to bulky ,(AC) which (or that but without the comma before) are too bulky to overwhelm without Swords Dance".
- splashable is often used improperly to refer to Pokemon that fit on multiple types of teams. There are multiple ways to get around this, you can replace it with another adjective like "versatile" or "flexible" or simply reconstruct the sentence to something like "which makes it hard to fit on different teams". If you change this to "harder to use" you are, once again, slightly changing the content of the analysis.
Scald is a reliable STAB move that possesses a chance to make makes Slowbro even more difficult to take down with physical attacks and threatens Fire-, Rock-, and Ground-types like Delphox, Rhydon, Steelix and Palossand.
- This is good, except for the removal of "move", which is unnecessary. Also, remember to format your changes and make them very visible: if you add hyphens, then you must let the writer know that you did, something like "Fire-(AH), Rock-(AH)", etc works just fine.
Block is the crux of the set and lets Slowbro trap passive Pokemon like Audino-Mega, Ferroseed, and Miltank, [ac] as well as bulky Waters Water-types like Vaporeon, Blastoise, and Defensive opposing Slowbro.
- Remember to always check the spelling of Pokemon: Audino-Mega Mega Audino.
- While it is correct to add "opposing" when mentioning the same species twice, you cannot remove the adjective "defensive", as it is a key element that defines the type of set. The only thing to do with it is just remove the capital letter.
Rest restores all of Slowbro's hp HP and clears it of any status from Pokemon like Xatu, Vaporeon, and Seismitoad Seismitoed, making it difficult to wear down once it gets multiple boosts from Calm Mind.
- "Any" status is fine, you could also be more specific and add something like "conditions" or "ailments".
- The spelling of Seismitoad was correct and you changed it to a wrong one, please be extra careful with this and always double check to make sure not to miss stuff like this!
which rely on Toxic to defeat bulky Waters Water-types, and enables Slowbro to pp-PP [as]stall Water immunities Water-immune Pokemon like Vaporeon and Seismitoed.
- Again, be careful with formatting changes, the PP stall one is kind of difficult to understand, refer to my first notes for this.
- Seismitoad, not Seismitoed.
- Since there's a comma before "and", you will need to reiterate the subject, as otherwise the sentence cannot stand on its own. Refer to fleur's notes for this:
- Coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) should not be preceded by a comma when the clause that comes after is dependent (i.e. the clause cannot stand alone as a sentence).
- In the same vein, when the two clauses being connected are independent, a comma must be placed before the coordinating conjunction.
- e.g. Kingdra is a great fit on Water teams and works well on Dragon teams too (correct). / Kingdra is a great fit on Water teams, and it works well on Dragon teams too (second clause is now independent; needs comma after).