Buzzwole vs Pheromosa: Pitting Brawn Against Beauty
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Brawn or beauty? Buzz(s)wole or Pheromosa? Who is the better version exclusive? Of course you're going to say Pheromosa; it outshines Buzzwole competitively. What about outside of competitive battling, though? A crazy thought, I know, but keep reading.
Some of our former JAPE panelists have come together to debate which of the two Ultra Beasts REALLY can be called the best. Judging everything from looks to logic by the end of the article you'll want to dedicate a fanclub to one of these guys. Maybe. Probably not. But mark my words: You WILL have an opinion.
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Aurora
Picture this. You, previously averse to going anywhere near a sweaty towel or putrid locker room, have, at the behest of a friend, just finished browsing various fitness subreddits. Buoyed by a newfound enthusiasm for all things heavy, you're raring to go the gym. After dressing up in ugly activewear you were given by your mother for Christmas and filling up your drink bottle with an unholy mixture of energy drinks and liquefied protein bars, you're just about to leave when, suddenly, you catch sight of your reflection in the mirror. Looking at your lanky, emaciated self, you realize that someone of your physical caliber isn't going to be lifting even the bar on their own any time soon. However, this is the Pokémon universe! Fortunately for you, this means that you can choose one of your companions to act as your spotting partner. In a world where good aesthetics are tantamount to a satisfactory salary, the ability to put food on the table, and most importantly Pokémon skill, you just cannot go wrong with Buzzwole.
Buzzwole epitomizes musculature. No other Pokémon comes close to its level of definition and size. Even Arceus-Bug, the omnipotent deity that rules over insects and arachnids big and small, regularly questions what it was thinking when it created a Pokémon with more muscle than itself. It is for this reason that, when I think of the ideal Pokémon somebody desperate for gains would take with them to the gym, Buzzwole instantly comes to mind. For the sake of this argument, let me compare Buzzwole to its counterpart, Pheromosa. Pheromosa's incredibly slim physique is just so far removed from that of Buzzwole, and from what one would consider realistic beauty standards, that you'd be foolish to ask it to help you lift even an empty cardboard box, let alone your new personal best bicep curl of five pounds. Buzzwole also looks far more intimidating. A 7'10", 735 pound spotting partner with a proboscis sharper than the bit of a high-end drill, four very impressive legs that demonstrate the importance of leg day, and arms that look like stacks of cannonballs would both establish your credentials in the gym as somebody who has connections and ensure that no one will ever try to take the bench off you. Pheromosa's ridiculously slight build and relatively average height would only earn you quizzical gazes, not looks of wonderment and awe.
Reaching the end of my judgment, you're probably questioning whether or not I'm making sense. After all, how many people who have even a casual association with Pokémon have set foot in a gym more than two times in their lives? Well, while your concerns are well meaning, you are misguided. If you were to check the fitness thread in the Congregation of the Masses subforum, you would know that I am simply applying the clear dichotomy between the appearances of Buzzwole and Pheromosa to a real-life situation. In this particular case of brawn versus beauty, it is clear which Pokémon comes out on top.
Pikachu315111
I'm going into this as a bit of a contrarian. Normally I would have been on Team Pheromosa, but that doesn't mean I don't like Buzzwole or think it's not useful. I feel it does get a bad rep merely because Pheromosa is preferred in competitive. So I'm going in for Team Buzzwole to show there's more that makes a great and fun Pokémon than ust battling (and it's not that bad in battle either).
Starting on design, when we were first shown Buzzwole and Pheromosa, it was through pre-release information to show how different the Ultra Beasts were to normal Pokémon. And different they were, both having designs you would never see as Pokémon otherwise. But when the game was released, we learned the Ultra Beasts were Pokémon (or similar enough to be treated as one) that can be caught and be used in battle. So there must be a balance between looking strange yet also looking like a Pokémon. I genuinely feel that Buzzwole does a better job at this than Pheromosa. Pheromosa just looks too far off for a Pokémon, it's hard to imagine it fighting with its elongated, humanoid shape. If anything, it looks too human (which was possibly the point, as Lusamine dressed and posed like one). However, Buzzwole hits a nice balance; it's a bodybuilder fused with a mosquito. The strangeness comes from its humanoid elements, but its mosquito parts (head, wings, legs) keep it looking like a beast. And with its muscular body you can imagine how it'll fight: a fury of fists (or stabbing with its giant, diamond-hard proboscis). Also, I think that as an individual design concept Buzzwole does it better too. Buzzwole is pretty straightforward; it's a bodybuilder mosquito whose muscles are actually transparent blood sacs, which is awesome. Pheromosa's design concept is about it looking attractive, another reason why it was made more humanoid, but adding in the bug parts and making it elongated works against that idea (unless you're into that sort of thing, I ain't judging); they were trying for ethereal but overstepped into uncanny valley. Pheromosa also looks fragile; Buzzwole could probably snap it in two by wrapping one hand around its body and clenching.
Next is Pokédex description, and Buzzwole just sounds more like a fun Pokémon to be around. Yeah, it becoming stronger by drinking blood and its ability to destroy a dump truck in one hit are terrifying, but other than it has a goofy side with it flexing all the time. It's explained that's how it communicates and that it does have flexes that represent anger or aggression; but after a while you'll probably learn what flexes mean what and can have a friendly flexing competition (if you don't know how fun that can be, I suggest playing the Rhythm Heaven Fever's "Ringside" rhythm game). In contrast, Pheromosa doesn't sound like it'd be fun at all, as it refuses to touch anything that's not from Ultra Space, as it feels it's dirty. If this was a high school party, Pheromosa would be that snobby prep who's standing in a corner, refusing to have fun and judging everybody. "Well, wouldn't Buzzwole be the jerk jock?" No, Buzzwole would be the wannabe frat boy who may be drunk but is having the time of his life.
Finishing on a quick word on battling, you can't deny that huge Attack, Defense, and HP stat. While it has less-than-stellar Speed, the number of moves it can learn gives it versatility and enables it to be played offensively or defensively. With equal Attack and Defense, its also easy to manipulate which stat Beast Boost increases to play what role you need it to. It may need some support from its teammates, but Buzzwole can prove to be a powerful attacker or bulky physical wall.
While Pheromosa may be seen more in battle, Buzzwole is far from forgettable and I feel excels in design and personality, at least in being a fun Pokémon you'd like having around. Let's give a big cheer for Buzzwole, or in its native language, *flex*.
{Pokemon_Vigilante}
Buzzwole may look like a Pokémon that lacks style, but that's just because you haven't really given enough thought to its appearance. It's meant to be a menacing figure bent on tearing apart anything that stands in the way, and it easily can do just that. If ever a contrast of beauty versus strength gave way to the notion that brawn could also be majestic, this is the case of it worth looking at. Buzzwole's power is far beyond what the expected Pokémon's design should call for, and that's why Buzzwole is the perfect ULTRA BEAST!! When you look at a beast, you should be speechless, not laughing, or contemplating anything other than how to take on the fear the beast instilled in you from the moment you met. Pheromosa doesn't intimidate anything or anyone from a visual standpoint, making it just another REGULAR Pokémon in my book.
It's often the most widely conceived notion that size conveys power, and let me tell you, Buzzwole has it in droves!! Buzzwole has more than enough power to crash through Pheromosa's poor defensive stats with a base Attack coming in at 139, and while offensive power may not be everything, Buzzwole has equally high Defense to match, literally. Pheromosa is like a glass cannon, or glass perfume bottle, if you will. While it can easily outspeed Buzzwole, it's unlikely to land a hit that would result in a 2HKO, since it doesn't really have a great movepool variety. Buzzwole has way more access to STAB attacks, not to mention a much deeper coverage movepool that allows it to shroud its offense in mystery. With an easily made plan to wall what little offense Pheromosa could mount, Buzzwole practically taunts Pheromosa into battles that it would almost assuredly win. The only thing that would make it easier is if Pheromosa never showed up at all.
I often ask myself if a Pokémon would be a good fit for me if they were real. Sometimes they aren't what I'd like, other times, they are just the kind of friends I'd like to have. Buzzwole and Pheromosa would be Pokémon that ideally wouldn't be a good fit for my personality, but I'd take Buzzwole over Pheromosa if for no other reason than to have Buzzwole help with the rocks and boulders. That's not to say I'd teach it Strength or Rock Smash, but I would probably use it to go hiking and things of that nature. I'd have no ideal way to fit Pheromosa into my everyday life or even just for special occasions.
No matter what side you look at, Pokémon give us all something to look at and be excited about. I have to tell you, Buzzwole excites me a lot more than Pheromosa could any day of the week. I'm capable of taking criticism, so let's have at it, folks!! In the meantime, I'll watch Buzzwole snap Pheromosa like a twig!!
FellFromtheSky
Standing at 5'11'' and weighing only 55 pounds, it's a wonder Pheromosa can even stand up. It can, however unbelievable it may seem, and it does so with supreme elegance. What I love about Pheromosa's design is that it takes a repulsive creature, the cockroach, and makes something fantastical out of it. Buzzwole, on the other hand, takes a similarly repulsive pest—the mosquito—but fails to make something worth looking at out of it.
To add to its already plentiful plethora of superiorities over Buzzwole, Pheromosa's design is actually quite clever and inspired. While in the early days of JAPE, I jabbed at how uninspired Pheromosa's designer must have been to create such an uninspired design. That was until, however, I witnessed a Madagascan cockroach molt. Beneath the tough and disgustingly hideous shell of a cockroach lies a pristine white shell, which, only hours after molting, oxidizes into what one typically thinks of when they think "cockroach." It's as though Pheromosa's designers wanted to imbue a theme of "inner beauty" into the design while simultaneously satirizing the stereotypical "model" or "beauty queen" images. With that knowledge, plus UB02: Beauty's otherworldly appearance, I cannot deny that Pheromosa has an indisputable edge over its rather uninspiring muscular mosquito counterpart.
RODAN
This is a battle of Chad vs Stacy; and while i'm hesitant to pick either side due to my inherent biases against both those archetypes I have to make a decision. That decision ultimately comes down to which one is more attractive, obviously. And I think I would have slightly more of a chance with Pheromosa. Although just like most other females she is a bloodsucking insect, I can look past that in my judgement. Pheromosa has this very sleek design with simple colors that accentuate her womanly nature and make her more alluring to the eye, whereas Buzzwole's color scheme makes me think that he's some Larry the Lobster-esque thing. His colors are not appealing to the eye, and his design is just so overly goofy; it's the type of design that makes me want to pour iced tea all over him. Sure, his design is funny or whatever, but as a serious borderline legendary Pokémon, it's dumb. In my own twisted world Pokémon like Buzzwole wouldn't exist and Pokémon like Pheromosa would be more receptive to my advances. Sadly Pokémon don't exist in real life, so this will remain a fantasy.
Conclusion
And the best is... totally subjective! But according to popular opinion? Buzzwole is clearly the best. Suck it Pheromosa, you cockroach!
Join us next time for another thrilling look into irrelevant Pokémon rivalries!
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