A Week in the Life of a Day Care Attendant

My psychiatrist suggested I should keep a diary over a week to help me get a better composure over myself. I doubt this is going to help but whatever, let's give this a try.

Day One

Today some little kid came in with two male Furrets, probably found them in a ditch somewhere. He was really excited, going on and on about how cute Sentrets are and what not. I happily accepted both of them and waved him goodbye with a smile. I didn't have the decency to tell him that they need to be of opposite sexes to produce an Egg, poor kid. Later during the day Mrs. Henderson, who was back from her vacation in Alola, came to pick up her, I quote, absolutely adorable snuggiebun Snubbull. I almost feel sorry for it the way it's forced to wear that ridiculous bow tie and hat; the lady almost choked it to death when she got it back. But I can't complain since her three-week trip netted me a good Poké Dollar 7600.

Day Two

I came in pretty late this morning, and the first thing that I noticed was Mrs. Henderson waiting outside furiously. I opened my mouth to say good morning and she cut me off, screaming at me and almost crying at the same time. It took me a while to make out what she was saying to me, something about disaster and hideous. I was beginning to wonder where her precious Snubbull was, and then she took out her Poké Ball and, to my surprise, sent out a Granbull. Same cute bow tie and hat. I tried my best to hold in my laughter, while she explained that she had given her Snubbull a treat she had gotten in Alola, a Rare Candy. I'm guessing she had no idea what effect it had and she was certain that her Snubbull was nowhere near a level where it could evolve. I had to explain to her that Pokémon level up when they're in the Day Care in Kalos and learn new moves, contrary to in Alola's Nurseries. So instead of her cute Snubbull that knew Charm, Tail Whip, and Lick, she has a Granbull knowing Rage, Play Rough, Crunch, and Outrage. When I told her that we're not liable in such events, she stormed off and vowed to never return.

Day Three

The little kid from the other day came back to take back his Furrets, and I was surprised he wasn't really sad that I didn't have an Egg to give him. Instead he had two new Pokémon to deposit, a male Magmortar and a female Pumpkaboo. Not sure what he was thinking this time, these two were definitely not compatible with each other. He was humming something about daddy and mommy lay Egg together and skipped out with a smile. Once again I didn't say anything, I guess I'm really a bad person after all.

Day Four

It was this time of week again, the super serious kid with the blank expression on his face came by. As usual he didn't say anything, just came up to the counter and placed a shiny Ditto holding some kind of yarn and a female Charmander in a fancy black Poké Ball, this one holding this smooth-looking stone. He gave me a nod and walked out and biked away. This is the part I hate about him visiting. He starts to bike back and forth outside as fast as he can, blazing by outside the window. Whenever he does this his Pokémon always get in some freaky mood and start going at it like Mankeys and lay Eggs faster than I can collect them. This means I have to run back and forth between the pen and the front door where he stands waiting to collect them. He collects five or so from me and flies off somewhere. When he returns he's ready to collect more, and after 26 runs or so of this he's done for the day and takes his Pokémon back. I still haven't figured out what he's doing with all of those Eggs, but at least he pays well so I can't complain.

Day Five

Two giggling schoolgirls came in today; I figured this couldn't be a good sign. They presented one Pokémon each to deposit together, one female Skitty and one male Wailord. I sighed loudly, I was getting tired of this trend from nefarious children. There's this rumor circling that a Skitty and Wailord are able to mate and produce an Egg together, and everyone wants to try this challenge. How they even manage to get hold of a Wailord is beyond me, those live way out in the ocean. I decided that after last time I would nip this in the bud, I still haven't had time to clean out the pond. I told the girls that we didn't have the space necessary to keep a Wailord but would gladly accept their Skitty. Their smiles and giggles ended quickly, they kindly declined and walked out disappointed. My mother once told me to never make girls sad, but she obviously never had to clean up after a Wailord.

Day Six

The little kid with the Magmortar and Pumpkaboo came back, he was getting frustrated this time when I didn't have an Egg to present him. But he wasn't done with trying to get an Egg, oh no, he was just getting started. He took out two Poké Balls and out he sent a Mew and an Arceus. I was dumbfounded. This maybe eight-year old kid just walked in with the ancestor of all Pokémon and the creator of the universe, like he just had gone out and caught them in the woods. I accepted both of them in disbelief and the kid walked out before I could even tell him that no one has ever seen legendary Pokémon breed. I just hope Arceus doesn't decide to remove my Day Care from existence on a whim.

Day Seven

This week had gone okay before the little kid from yesterday came back today. I hadn't checked out how his Mew and Arceus had been doing in a while and was not expecting anything either. He came back to take back them both and their Egg. Of course kiddo, I said to him with a chuckle and went back to collect them. And then there it was, between the Mew and Arceus sat an Egg. They both looked kind of shy, like they were trying to hide it from me. My mind was trying really hard to grasp the situation, the ancestor of all Pokémon and the creator of the universe had just laid an Egg. I collected both of them and the Egg and gave them to the kid without saying a word. He accepted them with a smile and walked out singing some tune. Having some serious doubts about my sanity I decided to finally clean out the pond, and that was when I noticed something. There was a small hole in the fence between two of the pens, the Furrets' and Snubbull's. It was then when it hit me, the little snuggiebun Snubbull must have been female, and a raunchy one at that. I don't want to think about what went down in the Furret pen that day, but apparently it had been rough enough to knock the resulting Egg far enough into the bushes that only Mew or Arceus had been able to find it. I'll just explain to him, with as straight a face as I can muster, that woohoo between Mew and Arceus will always result in a Snubbull. It's not like he knows better anyway. I think I'll give him a Charmander Egg the next time.

HTML by Kris.

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