Challenge When You Wish... An Expansive LeafGreen Eggstravaganza

[QuentinQuonce]

Six Eggs And One Big Quest: Experiencing Gen III-era Kanto to its fullest extent​

Introduction

With all the naive enthusiasm of someone who's just discovered something everyone else has been doing for ages ("ohmygodyouguysdidyouknowthisthingexists?!") I've been getting very into emulating Pokemon games recently. Let's do Pokemon LeafGreen next!

Now that support for the 3DS titles is officially in its dying days, my mind has turned to all that'll be lost to us once Pokebank support finally ends and gens VI-onwards are no longer receive content from the older generations. All those old Pokemon: all those events, all that history. With this in mind, I thought it was a good time to go back to some of the older titles and relive them properly. It's 20 years this year since FRLG were released, so why not start there?

But the thing is, FRLG are ancient now, and - like most older games - contain various elements that make playing them in 2024 a very different experience to playing them in 2004. You know what I'm talking about: content gated behind downloadable event items or tickets, content generally only unlockable if you happened to be present at a certain time and date, content that was never even officially released... all aspects which are, in other words, effectively inaccessible for someone playing now.

Well, unless you're playing on an emulator that is.

See, if this was going to be a nostalgic trip through GBA-era Kanto, I didn't want to miss anything. So, that's what this run is all about: this will be a full Pokedex completion run, with the caveat that I must register every Pokemon natively obtainable within FRLG, event-exclusive or otherwise, to my Pokedex. Yes, even those for whom their original events were never released...

But that's not all. In the spirit of completion, I decided that this run wouldn't be complete without incorporating one old event in particular I've always been rather enamoured by.

The Wishlocke Gang

Long ago, six Pokemon species were distributed to FRLG as eggs, each one knowing Wish and one other exclusive move. Competitively revolutionary in their day, these events were elusive for a long while, only cropping up here and there. But my wish has been answered, and those six Pokemon have landed in my save file.

These will be my team throughout the run (shiny to boot, for that extra bit of twinkle).


The rules

• Only the six Pokemon listed above (and their evolutions) may be used on my team for battle. They must keep their event moves, meaning I only have 12 offensive moveslots - and some of those will have to be HMs. No HM slaves required here.
• None of them can faint, under any circumstances and for any amount of time. I'm allowed to heal with items and via NPCs - the only rule is that my team simply must stay conscious from here until the end of the run.
• I must catch, receive, or in-game trade for, every Pokemon natively obtainable within the game (event-exclusive or otherwise). This will include Wynaut and Azurill (due to the items required for breeding them being obtainable within the game) as well as Deoxys, but will not include any of the other Hoenn Pokemon. It will, however, include all of the Altering Cave Pokemon, which I will be making obtainable during gameplay.

I will also, for my own amusement, be implementing the various requirements that LGPE put on entering gyms, with some tweaks.

• For Pewter Gym: I must have a Grass- or Water-type registered (which, since Exeggcute will be part of my team, is inevitable) and have registered 15 Pokemon.
  
  
• For Cerulean Gym: I must have at least one Pokemon at or above level 15.
  
  
• For Vermillion Gym: I must have obtained HM01, Cut. Seeing as you... need that to get in anyway, I'm adding the additional requirement that I must have registered 40 Pokemon, including Pikachu.
  
  
• For Celadon Gym: I must have obtained Pikachu, Eevee, Clefairy, Clefable, Jigglypuff, Wigglytuff, and Chansey (in LGPE, this is "a cute Pokemon", for which either Pikachu or Eevee will serve).
  
  
• For Fuchsia Gym: I must have registered 50 Pokemon in my Pokedex, including ten Poison-types AND Venomoth.
  
  
• For Saffron Gym: I must own at least one Pokemon at or above level 45, and have also registered Abra and Kadabra.
  
  
• For Cinnabar Gym: I will need the Secret Key. This is... just the requirement to access the gym anyway, so I'm adding the additional requirement that I must have registered 75 Pokemon, including all available Fire-types at that point in the game.
  
  
• For Viridian Gym: I must have registered 100 Pokemon, including Persian AND ten Ground-types which must include Nidoqueen, Nidoking, Sandslash, Rhyhorn, Marowak, and Dugtrio.

To challenge the Elite Four, I must have registered 124 Pokemon (the maximum possible number in the Kanto dex I can obtain without trading). Once I've done this, I will trade the rest for a full Kanto dex prior to progressing. Looking forward to Oak spaffing his pants when he sees I've beaten the Elite Four AND completed the Kanto Pokedex...

But the fun doesn't stop there. To catch Ho-oh and Lugia, I must have obtained every Johto Pokemon it's possible to get without trading (61) - and to catch Deoxys, I must have obtained every Pokemon from 001-250, plus Azurill and Wynaut.

Let's do this.


Part One

Hey, emulating means bigger/clearer screenshots, that's nice.

​

Hell yeah I'm being the girl, justice for Leaf.

Debated the merits of calling him Fuckpig or something, but ultimately nothing is crueller than calling him that.

I wake up in the dim, sleepy heights of Pallet Town. Mother tells me that all girls dream of travelling and I've no reason to doubt her, so it's off into the wilds of Kanto I go. Well, if you can call them wilds. The place is basically just one big city.

You all know what happens when I try and head north - Professor Oak appears and warns me off stepping into the tall grass. He then forcibly drags me into his lab where his grandson Curtis is also waiting, there to be offered one of three innucuous-looking Pokeballs.

Wait, so what happened to his other Pokemon? Did he give them away? Did he lose them? Did they die?

Because I will end up with an Exeggutor on my team, I think it's boring for Blue/Curtis to do the same, so I will be choosing Squirtle as my starter. Curtis promptly challenges me to a battle with his Bulbasaur, which I win thanks to the Potion I made sure to collect from my bedroom before setting out. First victory of many, to be sure.

I don't have a map or anything of that sort, but Oak informs me I should just gambol around outside blindly and encounter lots of wild Pokemon. I head onto Route 1 and encounter a couple of Pidgey (dull) but to the north lies a more bustling locale, Viridian City! It's a thriving town with its own Pokemart, a gym, and a Pokecentre. I head there first to heal my starter Squirtle and...

...oh, what's this?

​

How strange to find these in my PC. I mean, how strange to find Eggs in Kanto at all; I've been reliably informed that doesn't happen here.

But, never one to look a gift Ponyta in the mouth, I withdraw a couple and head outside...

...and they hatch almost right away.

Well, hello there new team members. Welcome aboard. A short bit of tinkering later and they're all gloriously shinified.

Checking into the Pokemart, one of the clerks tells me that Professor Oak ordered something. ...why isn't home delivery a thing for me, too? Anyway. Back to Pallet I go to deliver it. Oak asks how his old Pokemon is doing, even though that thing went straight into the PC.

Well, not really, I was basically just handed a bunch of stuff.​

Anyway, Curtis slopes in and asks why his grandfather asked him back to the lab. Oak then tells us he wants to give us something - a Pokedex!

He goes off on a big speech about how his youthful dream was to make a complete accounting of all the Pokemon in the world... but he failed. Yeah, youthful dreams do be like that sometimes. Except for when they aren't! Oak may have failed, but I won't.

Flushed with confidence, I take my Pokedex in hand and inform him I'll take the challenge. He says thanks, but I can tell he doesn't believe me. Hoo-hoo, I'm about to prove that old man wrong. Come on, team, let's get out there and...

...oh.

...oh.

Hang on. We got a problem here.

Did you notice it?

Take a look at my team again.

Yep.

None of them know any damaging moves.

Hmm, okay. So this is tricky...

Looks like I'll have to keep hold of my starter Squirtle for a tiny while longer. Looking at a list of level-up moves, it looks like Kangaskhan's the first to learn a damaging move: Bite, at level 7. Well then, in that case I'd better do a bit of grinding! I head over to Route 22 and run around in the grass for a few moments, switching Kangaskhan out and letting Squirtle take over. The exp yields are poor, so it's a relief when Curtis appears and challenges me to a battle.

I'm TRYING

Ahhh, that's got it.​

Okay, NOW we're ready to go. Farfetch'd's Yawn comes in handy when it comes to catching Pokemon, so I quickly catch both Pidgey and Rattata as well as a Mankey. Despite looking for several minutes, no Spearow. Oh well. I'll find one later.

Well, we can't go west and we don't want to go back south... I guess north is the only way to go!



Pokedex count: 10

Current team:
Kangaskhan - level 7
Exeggcute - level 5
Drowzee - level 5
Lickitung - level 5
Chansey - level 5
Farfetch'd - level 5

 

[Eeveeto]

Cool challenge. You will need an HM slave though, Waterfall is needed in Sevii Islands.

Predicting more or less these final sets:

Farfetch'd: Wish, Yawn, Cut, Fly.
Chansey: Wish, Sweet Scent, Softboiled, Ice Beam/Thunderbolt/Flamethrower/Seismic Toss.
Hypno: Wish, Belly Drum, Psychic, Shadow Ball.
Exeggutor: Wish, Sweet Scent, Psychic, Giga Drain.
Kangaskhan: Wish, Yawn, Strength, Earthquake.
Lickitung: Wish, Belly Drum, Return, Surf.

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Cool challenge. You will need an HM slave though, Waterfall is needed in Sevii Islands.

Ah yeah, that's true. But that's very far off and just the once so I can make the exception.

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Part Two

Now that Kangaskhan can actually attack things, we should be good to go.

I get stopped on the way out of Viridian City by some old coffin-dodger, though.

What? No, I just wait for them to magically appear in my PC courtesy of the whims of a benevolent universe. Doesn't everyone?​

Into Viridian Forest! There's a few new Pokemon in here, of course: it doesn't take long to catch a Caterpie and a Weedle. The latter poisons Kangaskhan, but Lickitung's Heal Bell means I don't need to go rushing back to the Pokemon Centre in Viridian City and I've still got a bunch of Potions in my bag.

It'll be a while before any of the others learn an offensive move, so when I spot a Bug Catcher looking to battle I more or less rotate team members at random to give them shares of experience. Of course, the amount of exp you get from killing bugs is miniscule, but it starts to add up before long and a couple of them gain a level. Before long, I'm at the exit - but I know Metapod, Kakuna, and a certain yellow rat can all be found around here so I purposefully dawdle around in the grass to try and winkle them out. It takes literal ages, but finally the last of those shows up.

Despite Pikachu only having a 5% chance to appear compared to Metapod's 10%, I find TWO before I find my first Metapod. (And stupidly run from the second without thinking... should really have caught two, it'd be helpful down the line. Oh, well). Finally a Metapod appears and I catch one of them, too. Okay, just Kakuna left ...and this thing really does not want to show up. I run around for ages. So long, in fact, that I run into...

​

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. I send in Kangaskhan, use Bite, and... oh fuck. Critical hit.

Easy come, easy go I guess. Not like I'd have actually used it in this run.

Still, it's dejecting. Kakuna is still refusing to show its angry face, so I give up and trudge out of the forest into Pewter City, site of our first gym battle.

As per my self-inflicted rules, though, I'll need 15 Pokemon registered as caught in the Pokedex, including a Grass- or Water-type. Well, I've got one of each of those, but sadly I am one short of the required total. Guess it's back to Viridian Forest after all!

​

It literally takes half an hour for a damn Kakuna to appear. Urgh. Still. Wary from the shiny-Metapod-fuckup, I don't even attack directly and just put it to sleep with Yawn, then shower it in Pokeballs once it's out. It breaks out of two, but the third is successful.

Wahoo, that's 15 Pokemon registered! Let's be off to the gym, then. This'll be an amusing fight, since 5/6 of my team can't attack directly. Bite's a special move, though, so I doubt I'll have much difficulty bringing Brock's team down.

What makes you think I don't already? SIX SHINIES, boyo.​

I lead with Farfetch'd against his gym trainer and get a nice easy win - then it's time for the big man himself.

Okay. It's safe to lead with Farfetch'd here, since his Geodude doesn't know Rock Tomb; I set up Yawn before switching out to Kangaskhan, but Geodude just uses Defence Curl rather than attacking, so Kangaskhan 2HKOs without taking any damage back. Then Onix is next. Hmmm. Going back to Farfetch'd here is just asking for him to use Rock Tomb right away, so I go with Exeggcute instead. Unfortunately, Onix uses Rock Tomb anyway as Kangaskhan switches back in - it's a surprisingly brutal hit. Definitely best to set up Yawn and then use a Potion, I don't want any chance of anyone being knocked out this early. I Yawn as it uses Harden and then recover HP as it falls asleep, though it uses Bind before that happens.

Bite doesn't actually do as much as I expect - it looks like it'll 4HKO, and I'm not certain if Brock has a healing item. Apparently he doesn't, though, as I get it into KO range without him healing - Onix wakes up on the last turn, and uses Tackle. Sorry, that's not quite powerful enough to KO; and I knock it out with a final Bite.

Excellent stuff. Nice clean fight, no deaths.

Why is this only a thing here? Every other gym fight gives you the badge outside of battle like a normal person.​

Brock concedes and graciously hands over TM39, Rock Tomb. Sweet, now a second member of my team can attack for themselves! Lickitung and Chansey are both capable of learning the move, but the thought of Chansey using it is hilarious so I opt for the former.

Nothing much else I can do in Pewter City so I decide to head eastwards to Mt Moon. One of Professor Oak's aides is hanging around and gives me the running shoes. Oh, sweet. These things combined with the speedup option should make this game absolutely zip by. (Emulating's great, isn't it? Funny how no-one talks about that)

There's a bunch of trainers on Route 3, but I don't care about them. No, what I really want is to rush through this route and get to Mt Moon nice and quick, because there's another TM in there - TM09, Bullet Seed! No prizes for guessing who's learning THAT one. Now we've got three functioning team members... and it's not long before I've located the other TM in this area: TM46, Thief. Drowzee gets that one.

Alright, now we're cooking! I should head back to Route 3 and clear it out properly. Oh, and not forgetting there are a couple of Pokemon there I should catch... well, actually, just one. Of all the Pokemon native to this route, it's just Jigglypuff that's only found here and nowhere else. Hanging around outside Mt Moon like the sad Clefairy impersonator everyone accuses it of being... don't worry, puffball. You'll always number one in my eyes.

best battle EVER​

Anyway. A man in the Pokecentre offers to sell me a Magikarp. I mean, I could do it, but why bother when there are a million of them floating in every river in Kanto? I'll pass for now, thanks. I also don't bother with either of the Nidorans, I'll get those later. Only got a few Pokeballs and there'a a bunch of Pokemon to catch in Mt Moon. I expect Clefairy to take ages to show up, but happily find one very quickly: Geodude, Zubat, and Paras are also welcome new additions.

Compared to Viridian Forest, though, Mt Moon is a long and painful process with lots of backtracking to the Pokemon Centre. The trainers here are... well, tough might be overstating it, but certainly capable of making Wish a somewhat redundant option when they can deal as much damage as they can. I suppose I'm a bit outlevelled because my team is still quite lopsided: it's probably not usual to have a full team of six quite this early, and Kangaskhan got quite the lead from being the only attacker initially. Sure enough, Chansey and Farfetch'd find themselves lagging behind slightly as we proceed through the cave, fending off Rocket grunts and unexpectedly brutal wild Zubat (one almost wipes out Drowzee with Astonish and Leech Life, teaching me to lead with Kangaskhan as she's the fastest team member and can thus escape wild Pokemon).

Still, it's a good bit of grinding, and we wind up reaching the end of the cave with everyone alive and comfortably over level 10. Nice.

The way out is barred by an overly-aggressive nerd. Wow, what an implausible stereotype - couldn't imagine ever meeting one of those!

Er... okay, yeah, that seems reasonable. Cool. Have a good day.​

He sends out a Grimer to start with. I lead off with Farfetch'd and swiftly exchange it for Lickitung. I'm not expecting the easiest fight, but boy oh boy is it an unexpected wall. It starts off with Harden, then uses Poison Gas - I'm able to counteract the poison with Heal Bell, but Rock Tomb barely scratches the purple blob. Damn. Luckily, Lickitung learned Supersonic at level 7, and this proves my best weapon against Grimer... well, a weapon at any rate. Grimer manages to attack more often than not, so I'm forced to alternate Wish, Heal Bell, and Supersonic as it repeatedly poisons me. It takes what feels like an age, but eventually the occasional self-damage and my pathetic ineffective Rock Tombs stack up and the mighty wall crumbles. Wow, I never expected that to be a troublesome foe. He follows up with Koffing; I'm not even taking a risk with this one. Kangaskhan 3HKOs it handily with Bite, and then Exeggcute has precisely zero trouble downing his final Pokemon, Voltorb, with Bullet Seed.

Whew. The aggressive nerd (who goes by the name of Miguel) apologises for being so trigger-happy and tells me we can both take one of the fossils. Oh, okay then. I guess the moral of the story is it's always good to share. ...even when the other person didn't do any of the work and is just reaping the rewards of your labour anyway?

...wait, what am I saying, it's Pokemon. Strangers giving you valuable gifts for literally nothing is part and parcel of this series. If I pull that thread the whole thing unravels.

We're finally at the end of the cave. To celebrate, I've decided it's high time my squad should get some nicknames.

​

Gone with a constellation theme because idk I was feeling a bit pretentious or something.

Out onto Route 4! Ah, sunlight. And ohmygod, look! It's two of my favourite NPCs ever.

"Roaring and brutal" sounds a bit like a theme night at an unsavoury club. ...I'm in.​

Hmm, which of my squad can learn those moves...? Well, Apus is certainly in need of a strong move... but sadly neither of these will do. Ophiuchus can learn Mega Punch, though... even though her physical offenses are laughable, may as well throw her a bone. Hurrah! 5/6 with an offensive presence. We're almost there. I also decide there's no point wasting the other tutor and overwrite Lacerta's Supersonic with Mega Kick. Ooh, Rock Tomb AND Mega Kick... it's almost too good.

Soz, punching guy, but the kicking guy has by far the better insult. You lose.​

After picking up TM05, Roar, I arrive in Cerulean City. What's there to do here...? Oh yeah, nothing. I can't buy a bike yet, and the way out of the city to the south is blocked. I can pick up a Rare Candy, though. That's nice.

Of course, the second gym is here. But, according to my own rules, I can't challenge Misty until I've got a Pokemon at or above level 15, and none of my squad are quite there yet.

Well then! Guess we'll have to head northwards and beat up some poor scrubby trainers.


Pokedex count: 20

Current team:
Cassiopeia the Kangaskhan - level 13
Sextans the Exeggcute - level 11
Ara the Drowzee - level 10
Lacerta the Lickitung - level 11
Ophiuchus the Chansey - level 11
Apus the Farfetch'd - level 10

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Part Three

It's onto Nugget Bridge, where... ugh, this guy again. Curtis appears and challenges me to battle, where his newly-evolved Pidgeotto goes down surprisingly easy. I don't have much time to feel smug, though, because his Rattata proves to be an unexpected wrecking ball - its Quick Attack is powerful enough to basically 2HKO half my team, and I have to do some rapid switching to prevent a sudden death. It's back to Cassiopeia as the team's resident bulky girl to weather the hits and take it out. By comparison, his Abra is a complete joke, though his Bulbasaur... not so much. It's probably the easiest starter to face because it's fairly passive, but it takes a severe beating, and some switches to cancel out its Leech Seed, to bring it down. Curtis cries about losing, gives me some weird Fame Checker device I'll probably never use, and swans off.

The Nugget Bridge trainers all prove to be annoyingly tough foes. I end up retreating to the Pokecentre after every single battle, once or twice just ahead of a poison damage finishing me off. Hmmm... if I'm really going to prevent any faints during this run, I should probably invest in a stock of Antidote/Full Heal. Like now.

I believe this particular matchup is a situation known as "let's not even fucking try it"​

But at last, I make it to the end and get seized on by a rather predatory man. Oh no, he's a Team Rocket grunt! But he gives me a Nugget first so it's not all bad. I beat him, heal once again, and enter Route 24 proper.

Not many new Pokemon to catch here. I do encounter an Abra but, of course, fail to catch it and it flees.

​

Never mind. Eventually I run into a Bellsprout and catch that instead.

Route 25 is full of yet more trainers, thankfully mostly not quite as tough to face down as the Nugget Bridge gauntlet. I only have to run back to heal twice. Progress!

Ophiuchus also levels up enough to learn a useful new move.

​

I mean, it might seem redundant with Wish, but Softboiled will (at least for the moment) be a MASSIVE help in keeping the gang healthy. Lacerta knows Heal Bell anyway, so it's bye-bye Refresh. Sextans also learns Leech Seed, for which I dump Reflect.

My team level up very nicely from all the fights here, though no-one's yet at level 15. Might have to do some wild grinding if this isn't enough...

As it happens, though, one of the trainers at the end of the route is stood guarding an enclosed hedge space with an item ball in it - and when he moves away from it, I'm able to slip inside and find TM43, Secret Power.

Awooga, awooga! Ring the joyful bells! Finally, I've got a team of six Pokemon all capable of actually dealing damage. God, that was only a short period but it felt like an eternity.

With its brand-spanking and comparatively-powerful new technique, Apus is my lead against the final trainer on the route - a cutesy lass outside the Sea Cottage - and takes down her entire team single-handedly. Er, single-wingedly, I suppose. The experience from this fight is enough to get it to level 15. Nice, and perfectly timed. Time to take on Misty.

I guess I should rescue this wacky scientist from his own bungling first, though.

And the best Pokemon you could pick for that was a Clefairy? You officially fail at life.

...actually what am I saying, Clefable learns a metric ton of different moves and has Magic Guard in Gen IV. Never mind, good choice.
​

I find Bill, the owner of this picturesque lighthouse cottage, in a state of pure panic due to accidentally mixing himself up with a Pokemon. Logically that implies his body is still out there somewhere with a Clefairy's mind inside it. That's a fun thought. But I help him put himself back together and he's so grateful he gives me a ticket to a fancy party on a boat. More free stuff? Sure, sounds good.

Heading back into Cerulean, I'm all ready to challenge the gym before I notice there's a Team Rocket grunt hanging around in someone's yard. Ew, not cool. I head through a wrecked house and confront him, and he acts totally like an innocent bystander would and engages me in battle. Once I've trounced him he admits he's a burglar and forks over his loot: a copy of TM28, Dig. Damn, the TMs are coming thick and fast! I consider offering to return it from the man it was stolen from, but he seems to have lost interest so I figure it's fine for me to keep it.

Hmmm...

Yeah, Cassiopeia seems the best fit for this. Wonder if the field effect will come in handy at any point.

Right, time to crack knuckles and break skulls - it's gym time!

Cerulean Gym's a Water-type gym, so it's awfully good that I've got a Grass-type on hand. The two gym trainers don't prove much of a challenge except for the second one's Goldeen, who confounds Sextans with Supersonic and brings it perilously close to fainting with a nastily powerful Horn Attack - I switch out and let Ara finish things.

What an astonishingly useful piece of advice. Can't wait to hear her other nuggets of wisdom, like "fire is usually quite hot" and "you have to keep breathing to stay alive"
​

I head out and heal up so I'm fully prepared, then head back in and take on the big boss.

Misty leads with Staryu and I send out Sextans. I go straight for Bullet Seed while Staryu uses Harden - the second strike gets a critical hit, and that's enough for four hits to take it down.

Out comes that fearsome Starmie. Oof. Well, best to play cautiously. I set up Leech Seed as Starmie goes for Swift, which also gets a critical hit - it's a brutal strike, and I realise that even with Leech Seed recovery I'm not likely to survive another hit. Time to switch, then. I exchange for Lacerta, who tanks the next Swift comfortably.

Hmmm. What to do now. I'd like to put it to sleep with Yawn, but Apus is too frail to get in safely and even Cassiopeia isn't totally guaranteed to stand a couple of hits from Water Pulse. I use a Potion on Lacerta while mulling it over - definitely the right choice, as Starmie goes for a Water Pulse. Yup. That's one powerful move, dealing over 50% of Lacerta's health. I need to heal again.

I use a second Potion, and Starmie uses Swift instead of Water Pulse, giving me a bit of breathing room. Okay. Maybe let's try going for a Mega Kick. I do, and... it misses. Urgh. Maybe Rock Tomb would have actually been the better option - slow it down a bit and give a faster team member a chance to outspeed. Starmie uses Water Pulse again, and now I need to heal again.

Am this battle really just going to turn into a big stall? Seems like it might. I use my last Potion and Starmie, for some reason, uses Harden instead of attacking. Oooh, okay - out of Potions but now I've got the opportunity to use Wish, which could be helpful in getting someone else in. Sextans would be the obvious choice, but it's so low on HP I doubt it'll even survive a hit from Water Pulse.

But Starmie is now at half health, so Misty might heal it. That might give me a bit of extra room to maneouvre, but I'm not sure when (or if) Gym Leaders use their healing items. Hmmmm. Who do I switch in?

Gotta be Cassiopeia, I think. I set up Wish as Misty attacks instead of healing and switch Lacerta for Cassiopeia next turn, letting it get hit by Water Pulse aaaand... getting confused. Argh. The good thing is Wish gets it to full HP.

Misty chooses this moment to use her Super Potion, fully healing Starmie. All that for nothing. I cross my fingers and hope Cassiopeia will overcome confusion to use Yawn...

...and it hurts itself. Dammit. Okay, let's try again. Cassiopeia gets hit by another Water Pulse and overcomes confusion to use Yawn. Hooray!

But now I'm going to need to switch again, as I don't think I can survive another one. Hmmmmmmm. Who can I go for? Ara has the Dark-type Thief, but I doubt that it'll do a significant amount of damage. The obvious answer is Ophiuchus, with her massive Special Defence. Of course, Starmie chooses that moment to use Swift, denting Ophiuchus hugely. Never mind, it's asleep now - so I set up another Wish and then strike with Mega Punch for an absolutely laughable amount of damage.

Starmie wakes up next turn and uses Swift again, doing far more damage than I'd like. Seriously, even taking Leech Seed into account, that shit's going to 3HKO. Gah, what to do?

After a moment's thought, I decide the only answer is to go for broke. Misty only has the one Super Potion, and I only need a few more turns to drain Starmie's HP completely - I take another Swift then switch in Ara, taking a gigantic amount of damage in the process. Gotta switch out again, then! Apus may be frail, but at full health I think he'll be able to survive even Water Pulse. In this, I am correct, though it's very narrow. But that's the last turn I need for Leech Seed to work its magic, and the last of Starmie's HP gets sucked up.

Well, that one really was everyone's victory. Good job, team. Enjoy your split-six-ways experience.

Misty acknowledges my persistence, resilience, innovation, and all the other good qualities and gives me the Cascadebadge as well as TM03, Water Pulse. Ooh, nice... I don't expect any of my lot can learn it, but a quick look informs me that I'm wrong: Ophiuchus can. Yeah, go on then. It'll be better for it than Mega Punch, at any rate.

Well, that's me done with Cerulean for the time being. Back on the road we go! I hear Vermilion City's nice this time of year.



Pokedex count: 21

Current team:
Cassiopeia the Kangaskhan - level 15
Sextans the Exeggcute - level 16
Ara the Drowzee - level 14
Lacerta the Lickitung - level 15
Ophiuchus the Chansey - level 14
Apus the Farfetch'd - level 15

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Part Four

Nothing left to do in Cerulean for the moment, so I head out and down the southward road, passing by the Daycare. Oh yeah, better stop in here. This place is going to be crucial to filling the Pokedex - there's so much stuff I won't be raising.

​

Otherwise, Route 5 has nothing to recommend it. The gate to Saffron City is closed (...because the guard is thirsty. Never understood this reasoning. Is this one of those things they translated like the old guy in Viridian being drunk?) so that leaves me with no alternative but to go through the Underground Path. A little girl in there is asking if I'll trade her a Nidoran for a Nidoran... er, since this is LeafGreen, that's a female Nidoran in exchange for her male Nidoran. Either way, I don't have those species yet, so I have to turn her down and head on.

Apparently there's items in this long, gloomy tunnel. I've never really checked. Better to head on through to Route 6. There's only one new Pokemon on this route - Meowth - and it doesn't take long to find and catch it. Ara uses Thief on it and hey, it was holding a Nugget! That's nice.

I need to go back and finish up with some of the trainers here, but for now I'm just happy to be in Vermilion City - I want that bike token.

Is there anything else to collect here? Oh yeah, the Old Rod. May as well catch a Magikarp right away since that's the only thing you can get with it.

This took 3 Pokeballs. Should have just bought it from the salesman after all and saved myself a cool 100 dollars.​

A little girl in one of the houses offers me a fantastically rare Pokemon in a trade, but it's a no from me.

nah m8 I'm good, already got one
​

In all seriousness, Ch'Ding the Farfetch'd is a Pokemon I'm very fond of, as I used him during my first playthrough of LeafGreen. The boosted experience partially compensates for Farfetch'd being not the best of birds - I taught him Attract for a laugh and it ended up being the most unexpectedly dominating technique in-game. He's still serving me faithfully today, as his False Swipe makes him an excellent catching aide.

Speaking of listening to morons rambling on about their favourite Pokemon, I stop in at the Fan Club and mash the A button until the chairman gives me a bike ticket. Nice one, old man.

I should head aboard the SS Anne, but I've been feeling pretty underlevelled lately. I've so far succeeded in keeping my squad conscious, but it's basically necessitated healing after every fight - I think I'll have a quick pass through the surrounding routes and grind a bit, pick up a few more items, that sort of thing. On Route 6, I pick up a Sitrus Berry - sweet, saving that for a crucial moment. Route 11 has a few useful idiots to beat up on, though I obviously can't pass any further east due to a certain big fattie sprawled out on the road and blocking the way. I'm sure I'll sort that later.

Speaking of items, in the gatehouse I bump into a familiar face! Kind of.

​

Dammit. Should have caught a couple of Nidoran after all, there's a boy here who wants to trade a Nidorina for a Nidorino. I do find a Sandshrew on my way back, though.

Who wore it better?! Me. It's clearly me, Drowzee's shiny colouring is bitchin'.​

Oh yeah, Diglett's Cave is on this route, too. Let's briefly stick my head in and catch a Di... WARGH.

​

Oh deary me. Unless I can throw a Pokeball and catch this thing on turn one, I'm fucked. Even though Dugtrio isn't that powerful, at that level this thing will rip through my team. Oh god, I'm so stupid. Why didn't I lead with Apus?

...oh thank god, it doesn't have Arena Trap. So I'm able to switch out to Apus, who laughs at the Sand Tomb the Dugtrio attempts to throw at it. Hmm... maybe I can actually catch this thing after all. It still knows Fury Swipes, though - better Yawn before doing anything else. Ah, god bless that crappy wild Pokemon AI: Dugtrio uses Sand Tomb again, then tries to use Mud-Slap before falling asleep. A couple of hits from Secret Power get it to low health and I start chucking balls at it. It breaks out of three but the fourth is a successful catch. Nice one.

Having learned my lesson, I switch Apus to the front of my party and quickly encounter a Diglett, which I also catch. Well, that's that.

My team are looking a bit more in shape now, so I head to the dock and flash the sailor on duty there. Wait, that didn't sound right.

Listen very closely and you can hear the cry of a Mew from across the water.​

Onto the ship, then. Considering Bill said it was a fancy place, most of the people here just seem like your average scrubs. Where are the wealthy ladies dripping with jewels and the oil barons puffing away on expensive cigars?

I head to the lower level first as I remember there's a few sailors here - their Water-types prove easy prey for Sextans. After slaughtering a few Horsea and Shellder with Bullet Seed, it levels up enough to be prompted to learn a new move.

This is where the 2-moveslot restriction starts to bite me, that's a legitimately tough choice.​

In the end, I decide to opt for immediacy over strategy.

None of the items down here are particularly special, but once I'm done here I head back up top and head into the kitchen, where the bins contain several useful berries. And in the corner there's something even more special - TM31, Brick Break! Oooh. That's a surprise. Considering RSE gives you this move very late in the game, to have such a useful, powerful move so early on is pretty sweet.

Only question is, who to use it on...?

Cassoipeia seems the obvious choice... but maybe Ara could benefit more from it. I'm honestly not sure, so I choose to leave the decision for now.

Heading out to the deck for a glorious view of... er... nothing in particular, I clear the last couple of trainers and then head back inside. One of the nice passengers shows me a Snorlax, adding it to my "seen" entries. That's cool. Another passenger rhapsodises about the Safari Zone. Eh, sure, if you want to give yourself an aneurysm trying to catch a Chansey over multiple years, I guess it's fun. In case it wasn't obvious, I sure am glad that pink bitch and her equally annoying marsupial friend are already on my team. It's just Tauros that'll be a pain to get hold of now.

After a few minutes of battling and making trips back to a cabin containing a nice lady who offers to heal me, I'm finally done with everyone on the ship - except for one. As I approach the captain's cabin, an unwelcome sight greets me - Curtis. He brags about how well he's doing, then initiates a battle.

Oh god, I'm having PTSD flashbacks to that stupid fucking video​

I'm well prepared, however. Lacerta humiliates his Pidgeotto with Rock Tomb, while Cassoipeia easily takes down his Raticate. Kadabra proves a little trickier to take down when it prevents Ara from using Thief via Disable, but eventually Confusion chips it down - Ivysaur is a swift 3HKO.

Curtis departs in shame and I proceed to the captain's cabin. Gimme the goods, loser.

Imagine being a literal sea captain and getting seasick. Isn't it embarrassing? Don't all the other captains laugh at you? Smdh.​

The poor man forks over HM01, Cut. Oh, yay. One of the worst moves in the game and I'm basically required to add it to my team. How fun. So who gets that singular joy? Well, only Lacerta, Cassoipeia, and Apus are capable so it's obviously one of them.

Urrghhh. Guess it's probably Apus. Sorry, duckie.


Pokedex count: 25

Current team:
Cassiopeia the Kangaskhan - level 18
Sextans the Exeggcute - level 19
Ara the Drowzee - level 19
Lacerta the Lickitung - level 18
Ophiuchus the Chansey - level 18
Apus the Farfetch'd - level 19

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Part Five​

Having obtained HM01 from the SS Anne's captain, I exit the ship and watch with a slightly mournful air as it chugs away from Vermilion City and out of Kanto for good.

TTFG, hope you don't sink and fall into an undersea abyss or anything.​

Now that that's done, I'm... going back to Cerulean. Well, I can't challenge the gym just yet. My team aren't quite at the level to take on Lt Surge safely. Even if they were, I'm way off the requirement for entering the gym - still need 14 more Pokemon in my dex before I'm eligible. Hopefully some of those will be in the next area.

Never was there a sentence so utterly dispiriting​

I make it back to Cerulean and stop by the bike shop, as I've got a bike voucher to cash in. Yahoo! The guy behind the counter takes it and gives me a bike - only the crappy Kanto variant that doesn't even change gears or anything, but it's better than a whack on the nose with a rusty poker (as they say).

Right, can't put this off any longer. I had a slightly romantic notion that, as there are six HMs pre-Elite Four (Rock Smash totally counts) I'd teach each member of my party one of them. Except that's silly because Rock Smash is weak as piss and not needed for game completion and there's no way I'm wasting a moveslot on Flash. If I have to fumble my way through Rock Tunnel, then that's what I'm going to do.

I debate the merits of teaching Cut to Lacerta, but ultimately decide it's better suited to Apus.

​

I head into the wilds east of Cerulean, almost immediately picking up TM40, Aerial Ace! Nice. The obvious course of action is to teach it to Apus. But Apus will be getting a better Flying move before long, and you know who else has the ability to learn it? Cassiopeia. Mmm. Yeah, why not? Bite was doing nothing for her, and it'll help with all the Fighting-types and Bug-types around here. Case in point: literally the first trainer nearby, who has a Machop.

In the grass I find and catch a new Pokemon: Voltorb.

Eek. This is so not the job for you.​

The bunch of trainers here leave my team slightly ragged but thankfully, there's a Pokemon centre at the entrance to Rock Tunnel. Weird placement in-universe: this place hardly seems like a swinging tourist spot. One of Professor Oak's aides is here, and offers me something if I can show him I've caught 20 Pokemon... an Everstone. Well, that's a lame reward, but whatever.

Anyway, looks like I'm going to have to make my way through the pitch-black glorified hallway that is Rock Tunnel. Yay...?

Actually, it's not that bad. Given that the layout of this place is fairly simple, the lack of light doesn't prove a massive impediment. There's some trainers in here, but I lead with Cassiopeia and switch to maintain type advantages for each of them - Sextans takes on all the Pokemaniac's Slowpoke, Ophiuchus all the Hiker's Geodude, and Apus takes care of the occasional Machop. My team get some decent experience between them and all gain a level or two apiece.

Meh. Not worth it.

You're literally saying this to someone stumbling round in total darkness, what do you think?​

This place sucks, though. It's basically a massive corridor when you look at the layout (which... I guess fits given the name) with lots of little boxy enclosures to make you think there's more to it than there actually is. There isn't even any reason to return here - no hidden areas, no Rock Smash or Strength boulders concealing items, no secret Pokemon. It's just a phenomenally dull location in every game it's ever appeared in.

At least I pick up a couple of new Pokemon, though. Machop is an easy catch: Onix takes a little while.

But it's in the deepest corner of the cave that I come across something extremely cool: a scared little boy! Wait, no, that's not the cool thing. It's what he offers me - the chance to learn Rock Slide! A delightfully powerful move for this point of the game. God, Kanto really does give you some good stuff early on, doesn't it.

Well, this doesn't take a genius.​

There's not much left to explore after that, and I swiftly emerge onto the other side of the hill, dusty and blinking in the bright shiny sunlight. But clearly we're not done with dark and gloomy places yet because oh hey, it's time to arrive in Lavender Town.

What a depressing place. Beloved of emos and goths and depressed children the world over, but it's not really my bag. There's not much to do here, in any case, so after healing up I decide to double back and clear out the trainers outside of Rock Tunnel. May as well make a quick jaunt down south - all the Fishermen there prove pretty easy opponents. Obviously, the way is blocked by a big fat blob.

I registered this in my Pokedex earlier. Can we not call it by its proper name?​

Well, looks like westwards onto Route 8 is the way to go, then. My team are in pretty good form, and Lacerta's Rock Slide is a particularly effective weapon against many of the NPCs I face. Except the guy with a Muk.

Damn, that thing's underlevelled as fuck. I want one.​

It also turns out Vulpix can be found on this route. After accidentally knocking it out twice and then getting Roared out of battle by a third, I finally manage to catch one. Neat-o. Nice and easy to evolve, too.

I feel like this is such a deeply memeable line and yet I never see it used​

This route is absolutely crammed with trainers - many of them with teams full of fairly weak stuff, but they're all excellent experience fodder. After taking all of them down, I'm ready to head into the Underground and head over to Celadon City, where all manner of treats await. And, god willing, a metric ton of new Pokedex entries...




Pokedex count: 29

Current team:
Cassiopeia the Kangaskhan - level 24
Sextans the Exeggcute - level 23
Ara the Drowzee - level 23
Lacerta the Lickitung - level 23
Ophiuchus the Chansey - level 23
Apus the Farfetch'd - level 24

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Part Six

​

Yahoo, we're in Celadon City! The fun city. Kanto's party town. After swinging by the Pokemon Centre to freshen up, I decide to go and explore. Some intuition tells me I want to start by going to the top of a nearby apartment building and grabbing myself a very rare Pokemon.

Love that this is just hanging out here for anyone to take so I can be like "this is mine now".​

The gentleman whose room it is seems not to care. He's just... a random guy here to teach people things. For some reason.

As the series grows older and older, statements like this feel increasingly poorly aged.
​

The Dept. Store is the next place to go! I hightail it over there and splurge all my cash on Lemonade. No, really. It's the best healing item in the game, after all. There's a little girl on the roof who wants a drink. In another time, she'd give out some genuinely fantastic TMs in return - Ice Beam, Tri Attack, and Rock Slide. Here, however, she gives out Protect, Reflect, and Light Screen, so I choose instead to let her go on being thirsty.

However... there are some good TMs here on the first floor. Namely, Dig, Brick Break, Secret Power, and Hyper Beam.

Well, I picked up Brick Break earlier and couldn't decide who to teach it to, but now that I've got access to unlimited copies that's less of an issue. I decide to use the copy I have on Ara - god knows he could use a better move than Thief, which has very much not pulled its weight so far. Might come back for more later. As for Hyper Beam... well. Cassiopeia could make delicious use of THAT. But there's not much point at the moment: Dig and Aerial Ace are both coming in handy and both have useful coverage (especially considering the next two gyms I have to fight). Meh. There's always time to reconsider later.

Speaking of useful moves, there's a big one I can get nearby.

​

Oh, now we're cooking. Much as Fly is a pretty terrible move, 70 BP is rather nice in-game and this'll make Apus an absolute weapon against Erika when the time comes.

On the way back I decide to take on the lovey-dovey couple standing guard outside.

​

...WARGH. Damn! That's pretty high-levelled for this part of the game.

Luckily it turns out they both have pretty lame movesets (after all, one's a stone evolution and the other's, uh... Rapidash) so they're both much easier than they initially appear. And of course we get a big fat wedge of experience for taking them down.

Ah, that didn't take long. Be honest: if you haven't played through FRLG with a cross-evolution species on your team and had them try to evolve at least once, have you truly played FRLG?

...yeesh. Guys, see a shrink.​

We're still a while away from taking on another gym, though. Oh yeah, that reminds me, evolution stones! Better head back to the Dept. Store and pick up a metric ton of them. Before I do, though, I rummage around in the grass and come across two Pokemon I've yet to catch: Doduo and Spearow.

One quick trip back, and I've got a bundle of evolution stones: along with the two Moon Stones I picked up earlier, with which I evolve the Clefairy and Jigglypuff I caught into Clefable and Wigglytuff, I evolve my newly-acquired Eevee into Flareon, my Vulpix into a Ninetales, and my Pikachu into a Raichu. Nice nice, five evolutions for minimal effort. That'll do!

...this guy wasn't in RBY, right? I love when remakes add NPCs like this because they want to railroad the plot just that bit harder.​

The Game Corner also has some great TMs as prizes! ...unfortunately I can't even look at those yet. Because there's a certain Pokemon I can only get here, and it's expensive. Thankfully not as expensive as it would be if I were playing FireRed (LeafGreen's the best innit) but I'm going to have to invest some serious time into gambling if I want that Porygon.

Sigh. Might as well start now, I guess.

Popular legend has it that the machine on the far left of the room directly below the woman has the best odds. I've never seen any firm evidence that - unlike in GSC - there's any noticeable difference between the various machines, but if I'm doing this I'll take that one anyway just in case. After picking up the Coin Case and sweeping the room for hidden coins I begin playing the slots and... actually do really well. Twenty minutes of work gets me the jackpot several times and I end up on almost 2000 coins. Not a bad result at all. Maybe there's something to the rumour...

No, the trick is save-scumming, you stupid old fool.​

Right. Time to fight Team Rocket? I think it's time to fight Team Rocket.

After dispatching the guy guarding the poster, I head down below into the hideout and start clobbering the other goons. There's a couple of neat items down here, like another Moon Stone - and the Blackglasses! Well, that'd be awfully useful if I hadn't just made Ara forget Thief NOW WOULDN'T IT. Oh, well.

My gang are shaping up well. By the time I've cleared the final grunt, everyone's at level 25, though badly bruised. Hmmm... better go heal before taking on Giovanni. I'm wary of his powerful Kangaskhan.

Giovanni greets me with a classic villain speech about his evil plans. Much as I appreciate FRLG expanding his dialogue, there's something I weirdly quite like about his only line pre-battle in RBY being "So! I must say, I am impressed you got here!" It fits with the Rocket Grunts saying they've been watching you, and really why would he bother introducing himself to a child.

And as it turns out, I'm right to be wary. Ophiuchus demolishes his Onix and Rhyhorn with Water Pulse, taking almost no damage; I switch to Cassiopeia for his final mon, hit it with Dig... and get smacked in return by Mega Punch, which almost knocks me out in one hit.

Um, fuck. After assessing my options, I decide to stick with Cassiopeia and heal up. Kangaskhan uses Mega Punch again, so I heal again... until finally it uses Leer. Well, that's helpful in the short-term but not so much in the long-term. Time to take a gamble: instead of attacking, I go for Yawn, hoping that Giovanni won't attack. Thankfully, he uses Leer again but after two Defence drops, I'm not risking being hit again. I switch out to Lacerta, the most solid member of the team after Cassiopeia, and Kangaskhan promptly uses Mega Punch before falling asleep.

Right. What to do. This thing has Early Bird, so it's probably going to wake up very soon. That means I've got to use the sleeping turns while I can - and use them well. It's going to take two hits to finish this off, so before I attack I'm going to heal: blessedly, Kangaskhan does not wake up. I strike with Mega Kick, bringing Kangaskhan within KO range - but it wakes up, and uses Bite. Phew. That does almost nothing.

Time for another Mega Kick - and it misses! Agh. Kangaskhan uses Mega Punch once again, bringing me down to well within range of a KO. Even another Bite would do it. I heal, and get hit by Mega Punch again; I heal, and get hit by Mega Punch again; I heal, and it uses Bite. Okay. Okay. One last go. We can do this. I select Mega Kick again - and it falls.

Damn. Yeah, I'm not going for my next gym badge for a while yet. This thing was only 4 levels ahead of me and it slapped me around good and proper.

Giovanni departs, leaving behind a fabulously expensive and rare piece of kit - the Silph Scope. It's mine! I love how this apparently extremely valuable item just... never gets returned at any point. I head back up top, heal again, and consider my next move. Well, there's really only one thing I can do, really - back to Lavender and into Pokemon Tower. May as well grab the Tea so I can get into Saffron City, though. There, now that's really opened the world up. There's obviously not much I can do in Saffron right now but I do grab TM29, Psychic. Ophiuchus might make good use of that - it'd help against Fighting-types, but then equally it's kind of asking for trouble to put Ophiuchus up against a Fighting-type at all, so perhaps not. Realistically the best one for that move is Sextans, since (shamefully for a Psychic-type) it can't learn it naturally. And we are just about to enter a tower full of Poison-types...

I say there's nothing to do, but there is the Fighting Dojo... they're all too tough for me, though. I chance my arm by fighting the first trainer in there - even though he's only got a Machop and Machoke, Sextans and Apus are barely able to survive the battle. Yeah, saving this place for a bit later, thanks.

Seriously, what's Sabrina doing right now, taking a nap?​

Right, into Lavender Town, then. Let's go catch some ghosts!

Pokedex count: 37

Current team:
Cassiopeia the Kangaskhan - level 25
Sextans the Exeggcute - level 25
Ara the Drowzee - level 25
Lacerta the Lickitung - level 26
Ophiuchus the Chansey - level 25
Apus the Farfetch'd - level 26

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Part Seven

Awright, let's go catch some ghosts!

Gonna tell this Kanto hillbilly my favourite one is "Misdreavus" and watch her mind explode​

Fun game for this installment: let's keep a running total of all the times people in this game say "die" or "death". Something conspicuously absent from the series until Sun and Moon brought it back.

Because your neighbour didn't look before reversing his RV.​

On the first floor we find... ugh, Curtis. He expresses surprise that I'd come to a place like this. Yes, it's a true mystery.

This is one of the weirdest dialogue changes ever. I've got six, why were you talking like I've only got the one?​

Being as I initially picked Squirtle, this fight marks the first time that we get to face him with a Gyarados added to his team. Thankfully my purposeful avoidance of this place means we outlevel him slightly, but I remember this being a fairly rough fight historically. If you pick Charmander, you're ironically getting the easy mode of his team for a while because he takes ages to evolve his Exeggcute and Growlithe.

​

Worth picking Bulbasaur or Squirtle just to get to see Gyarados' fantastic FRLG sprite, though. I opt for Ophiuchus to take it on for... some stupid reason, which swiftly becomes obvious as a bad choice when Gyarados uses Thrash. I hastily switch out to Lacerta, who's able to take it down with Rock Slide and then finish his Growlithe the same way.

For his Kadabra, I use Ara, since all it can attack me with is Confusion which barely leaves a mark. Amusingly, Brick Break does a respectable amount of damage in return, though I'm forced to resort to Confusion once it responds with Disable. Last up is his Ivysaur, which I stick with Ara to take on. It attempts to use Sleep Powder but Ara stays awake thanks to its Insomnia ability, so Ivysaur goes for the next best thing and uses Poisonpowder. But by then it's all too late: Confusion 2HKOs.

Excellent, that's that taken care of.

...oh?

​

Le gasp! I'd actually forgotten Drowzee evolves this early, but it's definitely welcome. And what an absolute BANGER of a shiny.

Never one to be left out, Ophiuchus decides to get in on the fun and evolve too.

​

...oh, right. You can't do that.

Up, up, up the tower we go then. A helpful Channeller on the ground floor informs us that spirits are high in the tower, but my hopes of a drug-and-alcohol-fuelled party are swiftly dashed. It's just a bunch of crazy old ladies who seem to be possessed. But still very much capable of battling. Funny, that. I let Sextans take the lead and blast them all with her crazy-powerful newly-acquired Psychic.

Before long, I encounter a wild Gast... oh, Cubone.

1% appearance rate and this is the first wild Pokemon I encounter. Lucky me.

​

I'm wary of knocking it out so go the extra mile and put it to sleep after whittling it down with ineffective Rock Slides from Lacerta, even using the only Great Ball in my inventory on it. Better safe than sorry. Once that's done, I promptly encounter a Gastly a few moments later and catch that too.

The battles with Channelers and wild Gastly aren't too taxing as I make my way upwards. In no small part this is because I've got four Normal-types on my team so their Licks and Night Shades don't do anything, but the fact that half of them immediately cut their HP in half with Curse helps enormously.

Still, it's a relief to find a healing spot.

Not "with white magic"? Was THAT considered too controversial to leave in? Smh.

Me after my first, second, third, and fourth divorces​

Eventually, I reach the penultimate floor and approach the malevolent spirit lingering at the stairwell. As I draw near, I can feel the air grow cold and clammy, yet somehow seething with white-hot spite and bitterness. Terror grips me, gnawing at my bones. What monstrous and abhorrent phantasm from beyond the rational world could possibly hold this tower in such a vile grip?

...oh, it's just a Marowak. Bit of an anticlimax really.

​

She's strong, though - even without a Thick Club. I lead with Cassiopeia but after a double strike from Bonemerang nearly knocks it out, I see sense and switch to Apus instead, trusting to its Ground immunity to keep it safe. Marowak still has Headbutt to cause some serious damage, but thankfully even a malevolent phantasm is lumped with crappy wild Pokemon AI and it only uses that once, while Apus merrily plinks away with Fly and brings it down after two or three hits.

Marowak departs, and I proceed to the top floor to wipe out the wimpy Rocket Grunts holding Mr Fuji hostage.

​

They're all fairly easy to dispatch. Mr Fuji acts surprised I came to rescue him, saying he came to the tower to calm the spirit of Cubone's mother. Well, you did a pretty terrible job, didn't you? I was the one who sorted that particular issue.

Anyway. Mr Fuji tells me we should return to his house, and conveniently takes me with him. Not like some NPCs I could mention who just naff off and leave you to find your own way back...

Oh don't worry, my team were all hatched from eggs. They probably all adore me by now.​

Back at the ranch, Mr Fuji gives me some sage words of wisdom about the power of friendship or some such stuff, then presents me with a nice gift: a PokeFlute. Oh, sweet. I'll never need an Awakening again, nice to have a Key Item which makes a battle item completely redundant.

I just realised I never did catch a Haunter in the tower, so it's back up to the top again to find one.

Okay HOW have I encountered two of these and not one single Haunter, come onnn​

It takes a bit of running around and of course the first one I find uses Curse right before I attack it and knocks itself out, but finally I come across a second Haunter and successfully catch it. Woohoo!

Well, now I have the PokeFlute I can get past both the Snorlax in my way. Question is... can I catch one of them?

Hmmm. It's level 30, and I'm not far off that. Trouble is, my team really isn't that defensively sound. A few Headbutts will absolutely annihilate me.

After some thought, I decide to risk it. I rush back to Celadon and buy a bunch of Great Balls and a couple of X Defends, and equip Ara with a Sitrus Berry for some additional insurance. Okay. I can do this. I think. I think I can do this.

Screw it.

Now and always the most relatable Pokemon.​

I go right for a Brick Break with Ara, and Snorlax counters with Snore - excellent start. A second Brick Break brings it low - Snorlax uses Rest, recovering off all the damage and waking up instantly thanks to its held Chesto Berry. No matter - we wanted that berry gone, after all. I go for yet another Brick Break and it uses Rest again - haha, perfect. A second Brick Break gets us right back to where we were, and we've got one extra turn of sleep to make use of. I promptly throw a Great Ball and it barely holds it for a second before it breaks out.

Snorlax wakes up and finally attacks competently with Headbutt - and gets a critical hit. I yelp as Ara's HP tumbles down into the red, but mercifully it stays there. Ara recovers some HP with its Sitrus Berry, but another hit will probably do more damage than we've gained back. Shit.

Okay - best thing to do is to take control of when it sleeps. I switch out to Cassiopeia as Snorlax uses Yawn. Have a taste of your own medicine. I use Yawn right back as Snorlax goes for a second Headbutt - Cassiopeia tanks that heroically and then falls asleep. I could wake her up - but I decide not to bother and chuck another Great Ball. Predictably, it fails but Snorlax uses an ineffectual Snore before it, too, falls asleep.

It's on low health and sleeping - it's now or never. I start chucking Great Balls: the first comes close, the second fails almost instantly, the third gives just one measly shake... but the fourth shakes three times and falls still.

Oh yeah! Now I can kill the second one without remorse.

Okay, but that was a risky gamble. Probably would have been much more sensible to have waited a little longer... but I'm impatient and wanted that Pokedex entry, I guess. When it comes to the legendary birds I need to be a lot more sensible.

Anyway. Now the road to Fuchsia is clear... isn't that nice? But I'm not going there just yet. Not when there's unfinished business behind me. After all, all that recent catching and evolving has taken me past the benchmark for gym number three, and I reckon I'm sufficiently levelled now to make taking on Lt Surge nice and simple.

​

Of course, I've also caught a Pikachu and obtained Cut so there's nothing stopping me from challenging the Vermilion Gym.

​

Right, to business. I let Ara demolish all the trainers in here, which isn't too difficult.

The Engineer trainer class is really cool, why don't we see that in the games more often?​

With Cassiopeia's mighty Dig on hand, I decide to save her for the boss man. Sextans is also my chosen backup, but I don't think I'll need it.

I rummage around in the bins for a short while trying to find the off-switch for the barrier. Insert obligatory "nope, there's only trash here" joke: I'll let you all come up with your own, to be nice.

Thankfully the puzzle isn't as maddening as it is in RBY.

The Argentinian fandango. What does it look like I'm doing here?​

I am not disappointed. Well, I am disappointed it's not a more interesting fight, I suppose, but I'm not disappointed in Cassiopeia's fulsome power. Dig is a swift and easy OHKO on all three of Surge's Pokemon, even his Raichu. Pity.

Surge forks over the Thunderbadge and TM34, Shock Wave (hmm, any of my party got a use for that, I wonder?) as well as an appreciated reminder.

Ooh, yes. Should do some backtracking, shouldn't I.​

On my triumphant way out of the city I spy one of Oak's aides hanging around.

This one wasn't in RBY either, was he? Another signpost-reminder NPC. Well, now I can go back to Route 2 in an instant it feels like less of an imposition.
​

Actually, there's another reason I'd want to go to Route 2, now I think of it. Yeah, let's do that... I hop on over to Celadon City, making my way to the Game Corner, and pick up an Abra from the prize corner. Yes, yes, I know I need to save for Porygon, but it's only 120 coins. I'll make that back quickly enough. One short Fly later and a quick exchange at the Pokemon Centre, and I come to the little house tucked snugly away on the edge of Viridian Forest where two guys live in seclusion. Cute.

Boy howdy, yes I do!

​

And there we have it. Two for the price of one.

Sweet. Pokedex count nicely inflated, new badge obtained, team all still well and truly conscious... all good so far.


Pokedex count: 44

Current team:
Cassiopeia the Kangaskhan - level 28
Sextans the Exeggcute - level 27
Ara the Hypno - level 28
Lacerta the Lickitung - level 27
Ophiuchus the Chansey - level 27
Apus the Farfetch'd - level 27

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Part Eight

Alright, we have three badges... am I quite ready for my fourth?

Hmmm. Let's zip around Kanto and pick up some items while I mull that one over. Now that my Pokedex is looking a bit more impressive I can backtrack and pick up some goodies from all the aides dotted around the place.

Uh... thanks, but I think that train has well and truly sailed.

Oooh, yes please to both of those.​

I completely forgot while I was actually playing earlier, but having the Itemfinder means I can get the Leftovers from where Snorlax was. Nice. Kanto's the only region where you can get them so ridiculously early (two of them, no less! I'm being spoiled).

My gang are all beefed up... I reckon I'm probably good enough to take on Erika and not have anyone faint. Just to be absolutely sure, though, I head onto Cycling Road and beat up some of the goons hanging out there.

No, selling them into slavery is definitely the way to go.​

I'm never certain which is the "correct" way to get to Fuchsia, but this is quicker than the eastern road. Ophiuchus hasn't had many good matchups, so I use her against a couple of Koffing - Water Pulse does a depressingly low amount of damage. That girl definitely needs a new move in her arsenal.

The game tells you that there's a bunch of hidden items around here - without intending to, I find a PP Up on my way down the slope. I'll need to come back and do a proper sweep of this place. In the grass I stumble across a Raticate and end up catching it, too - neat.

Did you take it to the summit of a mountain, do 20 jumping jacks, ensure its current HP was divisible by 9, and then feed it a golden truffle as the sun came up? Because that's more or less what it seems to take these days.

This guy amuses me, though. Mainly because a couple of other NPCs on this very route use Machamp. Did they all agree not to tell him how to do it? I hope he makes a cameo in the next generation's region having still not worked out how to evolve his Machoke.​

After I'm done beating up on the punks, I head back to the big city and get ready to take on the flower lady.

Ah, 2004, when you could just openly be a pervert and not have to pretend to be admiring "strong trainers". Simpler times.​

I've met the criteria to be allowed to challenge this gym - Pikachu, Eevee, Clefairy, Clefable, Jigglypuff, Wigglytuff, and Chansey are all registered to my Pokedex, so in we go!

The trainers don't pose much of a problem at all. Between them, Sextans and Ara are more than capable of wiping out pretty much all of the part-Poison foes we face (which is all of them, except that one rival Exeggcute - Lacerta has no difficulty taking it down).

I'm such a dumbass I actually went "ooh, Meditate! That could be useful!", momentarily forgetting IT ALREADY KNOWS BELLY DRUM​

Okay. Erika time. Apus, it's officially your moment. I make sure to have it hold a Pecha Berry in anticipation of being poisoned - though, knowing my luck, she'll probably just go for paralysis instead.

She leads off, of course, with Victreebel. Surprisingly, Apus outspeeds it, so avoids being hit by its Poisonpowder after using Fly. It very, very nearly OHKOs - but not quite, and of course Apus then gets hit with Stun Spore. Ugh. I figure Erika will heal, so take the opportunity to do the same. Next turn, I go for Cut to soften it up as it uses Acid, getting a Defence drop - and then use Fly again, successfully knocking it out.

Tangela's up next. It uses Ingrain as I Fly, surviving the incoming hit and responding with Poisonpowder. I use Fly a second time and take it down. Okay, now I'm poisoned and at -1 Defence. Much as I wanted Apus to enjoy a clean sweep, it's definitely wiser to switch.

Given that it only knows Water Pulse, Ophiuchus can't really do much against Vileplume, but it can tank its attacks and set up a Wish. I promptly use an Antidote on Apus as Vileplume uses Acid, getting a critical hit and doing a surprisingly nasty amount of damage. I can survive another, but I need more time to fully heal Apus before I bring it in again - so I heal with Softboiled, promptly getting paralysed as I do. Next turn, I use a Hyper Potion on Apus and take another Acid - and then I finally use Wish. Apus can survive whatever Vileplume uses, but I want her at full health regardless - I switch back and she gets hit by Acid, suffering another Defence drop. Ugh. Shouldn't change the outcome, though. I use Fly and do nearly enough to OHKO. Vileplume uses Stun Spore, but its second Acid doesn't do enough to OHKO me - come on, Apus, don't get fully paralysed - and it successfully uses Fly again, knocking Vileplume out and winning the match.

Okay, so I probably could have used another level or two, there. Apus was not quite the wrecking ball it could have been. Oh, well.

Erika hands over the Rainbowbadge and TM19, Giga Drain. Can you guess who'll be learning THAT move?

Right, may as well head straight to Fuchsia City, then. I speed back down Cycling Road and through the southern gatehouse.

Lickitung? Ew, no thanks.​

Here we are, then.

The best city motto, bar none​

Okay, so we obviously can't challenge the gym here yet (even if I wanted to). I guess it's Safari Zone time!


Pokedex count: 47

Current team:
Cassiopeia the Kangaskhan - level 30
Sextans the Exeggcute - level 30
Ara the Hypno - level 30
Lacerta the Lickitung - level 30
Ophiuchus the Chansey - level 29
Apus the Farfetch'd - level 29

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Part Nine

​

Okay, before I challenge Koga I need to have 10 Poison-types registered, as well as Venomoth. How many do I currently have?

​

Seven in total - so I need to obtain three more and catch a Venomoth. Well, I know where I can get more of them.

Not going to do it just yet, however. Even if I had all the necessary Pokemon registered, I am nowhere near powerful enough to go anywhere near Fuchsia's gym. Fortunately, there's a whole three routes of unbeaten trainers just outside. Before I go, though, I stop in at one of the houses and blag a Good Rod from a kind fisherman. Cheers, buddy.

I head out east and start beating people up, as is my wont. I've always found Route 15, 14, and 13 a bit of a slog since they're just one long winding passage with very few interesting features - but at least the masses of space leave room for lots of foes.

Speaking of "things to save for later"...
​

Stumbling briefly through the grass, I even come across something unexpected: a wild Ditto! I'd completely forgotten that was found in this area. I'm leading with Ophiuchus when I encounter it but there is no way on god's green earth I am going to let it transform into a Chansey, so I hastily make the switch to Sextans and eventually chip off enough HP to make a successful capture.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee​

Glancing at the list of encounters for this route makes me realise something - the Repel trick can be used to good effect here. So I lay one down and swiftly find an otherwise fairly-rare Pokemon: Weepinbell. Well, that's another Poison-type sorted. Not to mention it's easy as hell to evolve too. Pidgeotto appears shortly afterwards, though proves an absolute headache to capture since it keeps using Whirlwind before I can switch to Cassiopeia and successfully execute a Yawn. I thought Roar and Whirlwind always fail if the target's level is higher?! ...oh right, that's only true from Gen V. After a few failed encounters, I switch, use Yawn, then craftily use Dig to avoid the inevitable Whirlwind, catching it once it's asleep.

The trainers here aren't too difficult, though I get poisoned a few times and end up Flying back to Fuchsia to heal once or twice. Everyone gains a couple of levels here: even Ophiuchus, who rarely finds an easy win, manages to take down several Koffing and Pidgey on her own. Thanks to being in the fast experience group, though, she doesn't need much more than that. Still very much the baby of the group, though.

Big mood tbh

Very RBY-chic, but I'll pass.
​

God, so many Bird Keepers around here and not one of them with a Pidgeot or a Dodrio. Truly the dullest of dullsville.

Love that in-universe HMs are considered these fabulous and elusive treasures and yet most people IRL despise them. The player characters really are a bunch of pampered rich kids unaware of their own vast privilege, aren't they? Don't get me started on how they're some of the only people in this universe with their own bedrooms.​

Heading onto Route 12, I pay a visit to a little house perched charmingly on an island in the stream and speak to the man inside to receive... the Super Rod?! I'm all the more confused about the layout of Kanto. Why isn't this in Fuchsia instead? Or Cinnabar would be an even more logical place - squarely in the lategame, as you'd expect. Anyway. I'm not going to look a gift fishing rod in the mouth. Now that I have this, I can fish up all kinds of cool aquatic wildlife, starting with... Krabby. Well, it'll get cooler than that, I'm sure.

Uh, yeah, but why would I give it to YOU?

...there's that rich kid vibe again. Reminds me of this meme I once saw but can't now find where Draco Malfoy is like "Potter! I heard you bought all the sweets from the trolley lady on the Hogwarts Express so no-one else could have any. A1 rich person behaviour, let's be friends."​

Flushed with excitement for having the strongest rod in all of Kanto, I decide I may as well do some actual fishing and catch some good stuff. Sadly most of the coolest Water-types - Shellder, Psyduck, and Horsea - are FireRed exclusives (or in Horsea's case vastly more common), though I'd say having Staryu makes up for that lack. Then again, it's not that big of a draw when it's also easily obtainable in Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald.

...actually, quite a few of LeafGreen's exclusives are species already found in RSE - Sandshrew, Vulpix, Staryu, Pinsir, and Marill, compared to just Oddish, Psyduck, and Skarmory for FireRed. Weird. Maybe that's why Slowpoke was made unique to LeafGreen, as a form of compensation.

Anyway. My endless musings aside, I Fly about all over the place and end up fishing up a Horsea on my first try. Lucky me.

​

Subsequent fishing gets me a Seaking, Krabby, Goldeen, Staryu, Poliwag, and one very underlevelled Gyarados.

Woop!​

I think that's about everything... Slowpoke can be found via fishing, but only at a very slim chance and there's not much point when several ponds you can Surf on contain literally nothing but. I'll wait.

...oh yeah, there's the other Snorlax to dispatch. Who gets the honour?

We meet again, my pot-bellied friend.
​

Well, Ara's at full health so why not. I set up a Belly Drum as Snorlax uselessly tries to Rest, then slam it with an ultra-powerful Brick Break, dropping it in one.

...meh, only 600-odd experience. Pretty lame, but oh well.

The last Pokemon I fish up, after flying back to Viridian City, is a Poliwhirl. Well, two Poliwhirl to be precise - I need a spare. Might as well make use of it straight away so I head to Cerulean and find the guy who wants one. Last chance to change your mind, old man! Jynx is super rare in Kanto, you could get something way better than this for it.

No? Oh well, don't say I didn't warn you.

Another in-game trade Pokemon that's a total weapon. Only time I've ever used Jynx was in a speedrun I did of FireRed years back in which my team was just Raichu, Golem, and this mon and she was pretty damn excellent. Should really try and use her again sometime, I got a Smoochum with mostly decent IVs from Dream Radar ages ago that's been sat in my PC doing nothing...​

While I'm in Cerulean I take the opportunity to swing by the Daycare and retrieve the Squirtle I dropped in there ages back, sticking the Pidgeotto I caught earlier in there in its place. The little turtle's grown excellently and won't take much to become a Wartortle and subsequently a Blastoise... though of course I'll be doing that much later, with the help of the Exp. Share. Hey, speaking of which - all these new Pokemon added to my Pokedex means I must be eligible to receive that now.

​

Excellent work, me. That'll definitely get some good use going forward.

Okay, so... Route 12, 13, 14, and 15 all cleared out, lots of new Pokemon caught... and I've toughened up a little bit... a very little. But it looks like it's finally time to head into the Safari Zone and catch even more stuff.

Yick. Can you not use that word? It goes right through me.

This is one of those goofy little moments that lots of people have speculated is a cut sidequest or something when it's actually just a searing bit of social commentary about how relationships built on a foundation of poor communication are doomed to misery and heartbreak. DUH.
​

Another little detail I quite like is how the fossil Pokemon in the Safari Zone's zoo is the opposite to the one you chose, indicating that the Super Nerd you fought earlier grew up a bit and magnanimously donated his discovery to science. Therefore making him a better person than you, who just keeps yours and probably never even uses it on their team.

Mmm... could actually be quite useful, but maybe not just yet.
​

Right. Enough time spent dawdling round the zoo. Lesssgooooooooooo.

As frustrating as it can often be, I actually don't loathe the Safari Zone as much as certain other challenges this series has to offer. I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment (though, that said, the prospect of not having to hunt down Chansey and Kangaskhan makes it seriously easier to cope with). But I've watched enough Professor Rex videos to feel confident I can do this...

There's a whole bunch of Pokemon I need to catch in here, so I don't even bother heading out of the main area on my first trip in. This proves initially quite a successful endeavour - I quickly find and catch Parasect, Rhyhorn, and (to my great surprise) Pinsir. On the first ball, no less! Well, that's saved me having to buy one at the Game Corner. Proper chuffed with how easy that was.

For the hell of it, I decide to see if I can fish up a Dratini too and save myself some more cash. After several unsuccessful rounds of fishing - during which time I even find a Slowpoke and decide to catch it since it's at the highest available level - I find one! It promptly flees, but a 15% appearance rate isn't so bad so I keep at it and eventually pull up a second and third, which also flee. Finally, however, I end up landing something even better - Dragonair.

​

For those not in the know, there's a "bait strat" the man himself advises here for the rarer species, the long and short of which is that certain species do not have their catch rates altered by throwing bait (which lowers the chance of fleeing). However, Dragonair has a massive 45% chance to flee on the first turn regardless so I figure it's better to just focus on trying to catch Dratini. I throw a Safari Ball for the hell of it, though.

And the catch succeeds.

I...

...I have no words.

Okay, I have words. And they are "fuckin' sweet!" Thrilled with how easily I just managed to catch Dragonair, I continue fishing and land a few more Dratini, but none of them are successful captures. Eventually, after finding my seventh Dratini and chucking my last three balls, my game ends and I'm thrown out.

Well, that was pretty good for a first try. Let's go again! I pay the entrance fee again and head east, happening upon both a female and male Nidoran which I successfully catch. Nidorina also shows up before long - Nidorino never shows its face, so I just catch a second Nidorina instead since I'll be able to trade it with that NPC on Route 11.

Imagine being a Kangaskhan who lives here, spending your life fleeing from tourists who want to catch you, and then coming across someone who doesn't care and just runs from you without even throwing one ball. Poor thing must be so confused rn.​

Oh yeah, there's a Leaf Stone in here to pick up. Wonder what I'll use THAT on? Also TM47, Steel Wing. Eh. Unfortunately Apus's moveset is a little clogged rn. Not that Steel coverage is something it's particularly crying out for though.

Seriously, these things are so pointless. They don't contain any items or useful NPCs, and your steps are still counted while you're inside them!​

My second foray ends before I can find anything else of note, so I shrug and go for a third. This time I just figure I'll do a clean sweep and pick up the rest of the items so I can focus on Pokemon next time. Dashing through the plains, I happen upon the Gold Teeth and make it to the prize hut just before my steps run out.

Well, of course it was going to be me. Or possibly Curtis, I suppose. No-one else ever gets to win in this world, that'd be silly. ​

Right. Crack-knuckle time. Let's get these final few species caught on my fourth game! Tauros is highest on my agenda, as the rarest remaining mon. I head to zone 3 and twirl on the spot for ages (easier said than done when emulating - requires a real lightness of touch on the old keyboard...)

Bingo. After several encounters with other stuff I don't want - except a Venomoth which flees immediately - I find a Tauros. Okay, this thing shares Dragonair's obscenely high flee rate... BAIT BAIT BAIT. After two turns of bait, I alternate ball, bait, ball, bait, ball, bait for eight turns until I finally see that satisfying click.

Yee-HAW.​

Alllllright! Officially got all the most annoying Pokemon in the bag. Just Venomoth left, and frankly if I don't manage that now I might just leave it and evolve the Venonat I already caught. It's got a sucky appearance rate and all of the three individuals I've seen so far during my time in here fled on the first turn.

Oh, but wait. Just realised I can use the Repel trick again - Ophiuchus is only at level 32. I apply the sole Max Repel I have with me and twirl around in the grass some more... nothing happens for so long that I genuinely head to Google to check whether the repel trick actually WORKS in the Safari Zone in FRLG, but at last I get a hit.

Venomoth's catch rate isn't actually that bad, so I don't bother with either rocks or bait and just chuck balls right off the bat. I get three chances before it flees, but no matter - still got plenty of Safari Balls left. A second Venomoth shows up and also flees instantly, but hey! - the third sticks around, and finally I succeed in capturing it.

Whew. All things considered, this was a really lucky installment in general, considering how quickly I fished up a Horsea earlier. Well, that's me done with the Safari Zone... except, I've still got 16 balls left so I may as well have one last try at getting a Dratini. Back to the central area and I get fishing again: finally one shows up and I bait the hell out of it, then do the classic bait, ball rinse-and-repeat.

Oh, HELL yeah.

​

Well, whaddyaknow. I guess when you wish, things often do go your way... oh, god. That was downright nauseating. No. No. Forget I said that.

Anyway. Cool, nothing more I need to catch here... well, actually, I guess there's Nidorino. And I'm in the central area with about 160 steps left, might as well gambol about in hopes of seeing one.

...oh, whaddyaknow. I do. Three balls later, I fail to catch it and it flees. Eh, no sweat - as I said, I've got my Nidorina to trade. Shortly afterwards the PA goes off, and my game finishes - I'm officially done with this place.

Right then. By my count, that's ten Poison-types and Venomoth obtained, and I've levelled up... somewhat. Not quite sure it'll be enough for Koga... maybe it's time to do a bit of grinding first.

Should really do this every time otherwise I'll lose track. Always happens.​

Pokedex count: 70

Current team:
Cassiopeia the Kangaskhan - level 34
Sextans the Exeggcute - level 33
Ara the Hypno - level 33
Lacerta the Lickitung - level 34
Ophiuchus the Chansey - level 33
Apus the Farfetch'd - level 34

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Part Ten

I was kind of bummed because I thought there was no more grinding to be done, but then I remembered - oh yeah, Silph Co!

Let's head to Saffron, then. I fly northwards and decide to duck in to the Fighting Dojo first to sharpen up. "Duck" is an appropriate term in these circumstances because Apus, with its mighty Fly, completely demolishes every trainer here without breaking a sweat.

Trespassing? Do you not WANT challengers?​

I destroy the Karate Master, forcing him into early retirement, and he offers me a Hitmon. Doesn't really make a difference either way but I opt for Hitmonlee.

​

Outside, Saffron is still crawling with Rockets.

Apparently Sabrina was out taking a whizz while all this was happening.​

Looks like it's down to me to sort things! As ever. The guard outside Silph Co is snoozing so in we go. This'll be a convenient place for some easy experience: all the grunts are still fairly low-levelled so this shouldn't be too tricky.

I make a beeline for the Card Key and carve a path to the healing lady on 9F, then go floor-by-floor destroying everyone I encounter. Sure enough, I don't have too much difficulty - especially once Ara levels up and surprises me by learning Psychic.

Ooh yeah.​

The Rockets are obviously easy to spot, but I can never remember which of the Scientists are harmless. I mean, obviously if they're stood in a hallway they're more likely bad guys than not, but a few of them are still skulking in corners too.

Mmmyeah that does sound pretty bleak. But they have great vodka and some top-notch porn, so hopefully it evens out​

God, all the Silph Co. employees are pathetic, aren't they?

One lady offers to tutor me Thunder Wave, which... eh. Nah, I'm good.

More convenient than Selfdestruct?! I think NOT

Wow, you're a bright spark. Here I was thinking they'd invaded because they liked your office decor.
​

Once I'm done, I heal up and prepare to take on Curtis, who's just hanging out in an enclosed office on 7F. Unlike a better rival might, he's not even helping with Team Rocket, but he still asks what kept me before we battle.

He leads with Pidgeot, who's an actual tough cookie - Cassoipeia puts it to sleep with Yawn and chunks with Aerial Ace, but it wakes up pretty quickly and responds with Wing Attack, doing nearly enough damage to 3HKO. Fortunately I get there first. I switch to Lacerta for Gyarados and plink away with some effective-but-weak Rock Slides as it uses Dragon Rage, forcing me to heal. Eventually I do enough to drop it. Ophiuchus gets a rare moment to shine when he sends in Growlithe, who's such a joke that it even KOs itself with Take Down after I hit it.

I don't have much suited to taking on Alakazam except Ara. Though Brick Break does a paltry amount of damage, the AI seems stumped enough by facing another Psychic-type that it just keeps using Future Sight over and over. Amusing. Last up is Venusaur and I switch to Sextans, only to get put to sleep instantly. I mash Psychic hoping it'll wake up, but it does an annoyingly large amount of damage with Razor Leaf before that happens. Okay, guess Ara was the superior choice for Venusaur. I switch out before Sextans can faint and block the next Sleep Powder thanks to Insomnia, then wreck it with Psychic.

Not so bad. Curtis brags about how he's going to take on the Elite Four, then sods off. Whatever.

A nice man standing by thanks me for coming to rescue them all and gives me a fun reward - Lapras! He says it's because I'll give it a better life than just being stuck in a lab. Er... it'll be stuck in my PC instead, but okay.

After dispatching one final grunt it's Giovanni time. I lead against his opening Nidorino with Apus and confidently see it off - he brings in Nidoqueen. This one feels like it'll be tough, so I Yawn first and then Fly - but it's faster and poisons me before I'm up in the air.

But Giovanni, in a stunning display of AI intelligence, withdraws Nidoqueen and sends in Rhyhorn to block it. Argh. Alright then, guess I'm switching too. I bring in Ophiuchus, getting hit by Stomp for her trouble, and send it to a watery grave. When Nidoqueen comes out again - still sleeping, ha - I opt for Ara, who doesn't have much trouble sending it packing.

Kangaskhan is last. Hmmm... let's stay with Ara. I hit it with Brick Break but then Kangaskhan responds with a critical hit Mega Punch that nearly OHKOs - okay, maybe let's not. Instead, I switch to my own Kangaskhan Cassiopeia, using first Dig - depressingly weak - and then a series of Aerial Aces as Giovanni's Kangaskhan alternates Tail Whip and Rage. After two hits Cassiopeia's nearly dead - I could heal, but screw it. Someone else can finish the job. I switch to Lacerta, who tanks Rage easily and brings Kangaskhan down with a Mega Kick.

Giovanni rages and departs, and I get a Master Ball for my trouble. Neat. Wonder who I'll be using that on.

Well, that was fun. And it's definitely given me a bit of a boost.

Yeah, you know what? I think we're good to take on Koga now. Let's go.

With Cassiopeia's Dig and Ara and Sextans' Psychic, I think I've got all the weapons I need - but there's one additional thing I'm going to do just to tip the odds a little more in my favour.

Another gorgeous shiny.​

Okay, Fuchsia Gym time.

Of course, most of the trainers here use Psychic-types rather than Poison-types. Weird. But Drowzee makes for a fairly easy foe - Apus and Lacerta deal with most of them, while Ophiuchus is reserved for the Sandslash a couple of Tamers throw at me. I let Ara deal with the Arbok, and double back to heal before I approach the big boss.

Mirth is a great word, should be used far more often.​

He opens with Koffing, which Sextans OHKOs handily. Nice. Rather than going for a second, he goes straight for Muk - hmm. You're up, Ara. One Psychic takes it to 50% - Muk responds by using Minimise, which doesn't save it from being hit again and fainting.

Koga sends out his next Koffing so I switch back to Sextans. One more OHKO, and Koga goes for Weezing - I let Ara take over again. Weezing uses Sludge as I hit with Psychic, taking it to around 20% but getting a Sp.Def drop. Next turn, Koga fully heals it, but the drop lets my second Psychic OHKO it.

...oh. Talk about a massive anticlimax. Did I worry too much? Yes, yes I quite possibly did.

Still, we're six badges in and no faints yet so I must be doing something right.

And now I can Surf! Hurrah. I immediately go to my TM case and debate what'll learn it. The choice is just Cassiopeia and Lacerta so really it's not too hard a decision.

I opt to delete Mega Kick from Lacerta rather than Rock Slide. It's a wrench getting rid of it, but all in all I conclude that the coverage Rock Slide gives is just too useful. Plus, if I want a powerful Normal move Cassiopeia's the one to look to.

Oh hey, speaking of which, I never did get Strength, did I? I head to the Warden's house, give him back the Gold Teeth, and he graciously hands over Strength in return. Cheers, bucko. Well, Cassiopeia, that one's probably yours. Well, maybe. Ophiuchus and Sextans can learn it too (the biggest of lols at the very idea) and so can Lacerta... hmmm, we'll see. When it's actually needed.

With Surf now in my out-of-battle arsenal, I do a brief circuit of Kanto and grab a few things I couldn't before.

Oh. I'm... actually good, thanks.​

Including the Leftovers, which I also forgot to obtain earlier.

​

Sadly, unlike in Hoenn, Surf doesn't really open up any interesting new locations in the areas you've already been to.

​

While I'm backtracking, however, I pop into the Game Corner and figure I've probably got enough money to just say "fuck it" and buy a Porygon outright.

​

And an Abra, too! Hurrah. That's that done with.

Right, guess we're off to Cinnabar. The long way or the short way? ...the short way, obviously. Time to head to Pallet Town!



Pokedex count: 74

Current team:
Cassiopeia the Kangaskhan - level 38
Sextans the Exeggcute - level 37
Ara the Hypno - level 38
Lacerta the Lickitung - level 37
Ophiuchus the Chansey - level 37
Apus the Farfetch'd - level 37

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Feels like forever since I last updated. Where were we...?

Part Eleven

Now we can Surf, it's time to head to the last remaining town in Kanto - the island deathtrap paradise that is Cinnabar Island. I could depart from Route 19 and head through Seafoam Islands, but... nah. Instead, I head to Pallet Town and, after saying a breezy hello to my mother, head southwards onto Route 21.

For no reason I can fathom, FRLG changed the grassy patch on this route so that Tangela - formerly a 10% spawn in RBY - is the only Pokemon found here now. I'm absolutely not complaining about this, it's just a mystifying tweak they didn't need to make. Whatever the case, I dip my feet into the grass and swiftly catch a wild Tangela. Job done!

God, but Route 21 is a thoroughly boring route. I once read a fanfic on TRsRockin (F) in which a long bridge had been constructed between Pallet and Cinnabar and I can't help feeling it'd liven the route up considerably - maybe there'd be intervals from where you could alight and go into the water in order to swim out to any sandbars or islands where there'd be trainers or items, or perhaps you'd have to make the choice of traversing the entire route by bridge or water. I know Kanto already has a long bridge in Cycling Road, but it's literally only a bridge in HGSS.

Anyway. Almost as if to personify this route's tedium, a familiar face appears - the Six-Magikarp Man.

​

Omnipresent in seemingly every game. A good source of Speed EVs, I suppose, but a thoroughly tedious fucker nonetheless.

The only other event of note that happens here is me catching a Tentacool. Something I feel like I should probably have done earlier, but never mind. I eventually make it through and arrive at Cinnabar. Ah, smell that smoky air! No sign of it, but I'm reliably informed this town was built over a volcano. Seems a little unsafe but I'm sure the island's not in any imminent danger.

Well, the gym's currently locked (though I've hit the requirement to enter it) so I think I'll head first to the Lab and see about getting my fossil revived.

Oh, wait. I never did get the Old Amber, did I? QUICK DETOUR TO PEWTER TIME.

After breaking into the Museum and pissing off a load of scientists (or something) I return triumphant to the Lab and talk to a doctor in the experimental lab who the game for some reason describes as "weird" even though he... isn't, really? He's just inferred to have a funny accent. Little bit xenophobic, that. Anyway, the doctor's machine is working and he successfully regenerates my Helix Fossil into an Omanyte. By far the cooler of Kanto's two fossil mons, gotta say. He also regenerates my Old Amber into an Aerodactyl! Hurrah! Two more Pokedex entries ticked off.

In the reception room a couple of people offer to trade. I turn my nose up at the Venonat-for-Tangela trade (literally pointless) and shrug my shoulders at the Ponyta-for-Seel trade (it's funny that Ponyta is apparently extinct in Kanto in FRLG) but an old guy wants a Raichu in exchange for his Electrode, which sounds pretty good to me! I head to the PC, withdraw the Raichu I caught earlier, and receive a beautifully underlevelled Electrode in return.

Aren't you supposed to say "holy shit your Raichu went and evolved"?

Another example of FRLG having generally excellent in-game trades, though. Cool name, beneficial nature, decent IVs, and it even has an Ice-type Hidden Power! One could do worse.​

Hmmm. Well, what to do next?

According to my own rules, I can't challenge Saffron Gym yet but as challenging Cinnabar Gym requires registering 75 Pokemon (done) and obtaining all possible Fire-types (also done: Flareon, Vulpix, and Ninetales) I... could actually challenge Blaine first! Yeah, why not. That means heading into the Pokemon Mansion.

I forgot to pick up new Pokeballs before going in, but fortunately my last Ultra Ball and Great Ball prove sufficient to catch the Koffing and Grimer I meet in here before doubling back and heading to the Mart to buy more. I've obviously already caught Ditto but hopefully I can find a wild Muk in here too, Koffing and Grimer are both a major pain to evolve.

The opponents in here are refreshingly tough, though. Since it's all Fire-types on the horizon, I try to let Sextans gain some experience points to compensate. Unfortunately, after a Burglar's Charmeleon nearly one-shots it with Flamethrower, I see the foolishness in this and decide it can sit things out for a while. Lacerta, too, seems ideally primed to kill Fire-types with its Rock- and Water-type moveset, but everything outspeeds the poor thing.

​

Bingo. I was pretty sure I'd find one eventually, this place is huge and I've barely started exploring it yet. I set up a Wish with Lacerta and barely chip it with Surf, then take over with Apus and put it to sleep with Yawn - after that, I use Cut twice and pray it doesn't wake up.

​

Perfect. That's everything I need in here caught. I swiftly locate the balcony I need to throw myself off and end up in the basement, finding not only the gym-opening Secret Key but also TM14, Blizzard, and TM22, Solarbeam. Hmm, wonder if anyone I know can make good use of those...

Okay, Cinnabar gym time! Blaine is, of course, a few levels ahead of me, but I'm less worried about facing him than I was Koga because of the sheer array of Fire-bashing moves my team has. For once Ophiuchus's Water Pulse will come in handy - and she, being a Chansey, has the bulk to shrug off some of his Fire Blasts. Let's do this.

Y'know, this line would really work better if you genuinely couldn't leave the gym after entering. That'd be cool.

...y'know what, just for fun I'm gonna do exactly that. I mean, I've got Ophiuchus' Softboiled and Lacerta's Heal Bell to keep us all healthy anyway.​

The gym trainers are a surprisingly rough bunch; Ponyta and Rapidash's Take Down does a truly nasty amount of damage. Ophiuchus transfers much of her HP to the others between fights, and before long she's almost at zero - thankfully, I've got a couple of Max Potions with me that keep her healthy. I've saved her exclusively for Blaine, so while the others are all pushing 40 by the end of the gauntlet she's still only level 37. Never mind. I have faith in her.

​

Sure enough, Blaine's opening Growlithe does a titanic amount of damage with Take Down - even getting a critical hit to boot - but this injures it immensely, and as I'm faster with Water Pulse that turns the bout into a simple 2HKO. I use Softboiled as his Ponyta starts with Bounce, then hit it with Water Pulse as it completes the move. Next turn it executes an ineffective Fire Blast and I manage to inflict confusion with my next hit - I set up a Wish as it hits itself, then finish it off with another Water Pulse.

Rapidash is next. I set up another Wish as it hits me with Stomp, then attack - Water Pulse does disappointingly little damage. But I think I can win what'll ironically be a very slow fight. We continue to trade blows until Blaine restores HP - my next hit inflicts confusion but Blaine, the crafty sod, uses a Full Heal. Well, never mind. We continue to trade Stomps and Water Pulses until I get it to low health again but Blaine heals HP once more - and then Rapidash decides to use Fire Blast and inflicts a burn on me. Well, that's not ideal. I manage to inflict confusion a second time and Rapidash hits itself a couple of times - it recovers as I get it into range for a KO, but Blaine fails to use a third Hyper Potion and I get the kill.

Unfortunately that leaves me with 1 Water Pulse PP left for Arcanine. I weigh up my options - do I switch? I'm just over 50% HP which I don't think means I can survive a Take Down so I opt to be cautious and switch for Cassoipeia, rationalising that using Yawn is the sensible play.

Surprisingly, Cassoipeia outspeeds! Must be all those Speed EVs from killing Magikarp. But Arcanine responds with a Fire Blast that brings Cassoipeia to the brink of fainting. Well... if I'm faster, I can use Dig to avoid being hit and deal an Intimidate-softened blow. As predicted, it's a rather pathetic hit, but Arcanine's now asleep, which puts the ball squarely back in my court.

Hmmm. What to do, what to do. Ophiuchus, of course, no longer has a burn thanks to being switched out so maybe switching back to her and healing to full health is the best play. I'm pretty sure at full health she'll be able to survive a Take Down, and the recoil will be massive enough that even just a couple will do massive damage. Yeah. Let's do that. I switch back to Ophiuchus...

...but Arcanine wakes up and uses Fire Blast, managing to inflict Ophiuchus with yet another burn. Crap crap crap crap crap.

​

Okay. Let's think things through. I have one Full Restore so let's use that. Arcanine uses Take Down, which actually does far less than expected - still over 50%, but not by much. I've still got two Max Potions left so I guess the play is to keep healing until it faints or misses...

...which, after two hits, it does! Okay, so now I'm at full health and with one Water Pulse PP left, I'm fairly confident that another round of recoil damage and a hit from me will be enough to bring it down.

This would be the perfect time for Arcanine to use Roar and fuck up my whole strategy, really. Thankfully, it doesn't.

​

Whew. Nice job, green girl. Flushed with joy from her great victory, she predictably tries to evolve again, but can't.

Blaine gives me the Volcanobadge and TM38, Fire Blast, which I'm fairly confident in saying I won't be using.

​

Bill accosts me the moment I leave the gym. Jeez.

That's... a very weird way to phrase that. Want to try again?​

In spite of his limited social skills, Bill manages to make a very enticing offer - he's taking a boat trip to an island in the far south, and asks if I want to come along. Um, yes please, yes please very much.

Seriously, playing RBY as a kid and hearing all kinds of unsubstantiated rumours about secret islands and hidden dungeons fired my imagination like an overactive kiln, so when I first read news of FRLG's upcoming release in a magazine and they spoke about "travelling to the Mystery Islands after you defeat the Elite Four" I was pretty darn excited. Get me on that boat!

Soooo... a little earlier than expected, but - trip to the Sevii Islands, anyone?


Pokedex count: 82

Current team:
Cassiopeia the Kangaskhan - level 39
Sextans the Exeggcute - level 39
Ara the Hypno - level 39
Lacerta the Lickitung - level 38
Ophiuchus the Chansey - level 38
Apus the Farfetch'd - level 39

 

[QuentinQuonce]

My apologies for the massive delay between this installment and the last if you've enjoyed reading this thread previously. Life got very busy in the intervening few months and my mental health is currently in the toilet for a variety of reasons. But let's see about getting this show back on the road.




Part Twelve

So, we left things with Bill inviting me on a jolly jaunt southwards to a remote archipelago. Is it the Orange Islands? No, that'd be too cool. Instead, it's the Sevii Islands. Well, that's also pretty cool.

After a mercifully brief boat ride, Bill and I arrive at the terminal for the charmingly-named One Island. Bill informs me that there are several around here and this is just one of them, in case the name hadn't tipped me off. He then tells me that he came out to visit a friend who lives here, and we head inside the big building overlooking the island: the Pokemon Network Centre.

Inside, we meet a bespectacled young twink with cute blond hair. Unfortunately he seems far more interested in Bill than me, so I'm perfectly happy to leave the two boys alone and go off and explore. Celio says that he's having computer trouble and asks Bill to help him fix it (don't fall for that old line, Bill) but Bill asks if I'll run an errand for him. Ugh. I knew this trip wouldn't be free.

He gives me a meteorite to deliver to yet another friend on a nearby island, who apparently has a thing for collecting rare stones and gems. Omg, Bill's friends with Steven Stone? No, that'd just be too cool. Instead, it's some schlub who runs a Game Corner. Celio gives me a Tri-Pass so I can board the ferry between the islands and bids me farewell, apologising for being a poor host. Whatever. You nerds have fun.

Instead of doing as they ask, I decide to have a look around first. Surfing south of the ferry terminal takes me to a spit of land known as Treasure Beach. Sure enough, there's a few valuable items here. More importantly, though, there's a couple of Pokemon I've not yet caught!

With Fearow and Tentacruel now in my possession, I head back to One Island proper. None of the locals have much of interest to say, except for one woman who wonders when the local volcano last erupted. Hmm, cheery thought, that. We'll leave that particular beauty spot for later.

I head into the ferry terminal and speak to the sailor there, who asks if I'd like to sail to either Two Island or Three Island. Uh... sure. Let's go to Three Island and look around.

Nice place. Or I'm sure it would be in happier times. At the moment, two gnarly-looking bikers are harassing a young woman. But apparently there's nothing I can do about that, so never mind. Heading into the town reveals more of the bikers doing their best to intimidate a couple of townspeople, who don't put up much of a fight.

​

Well, nothing I can do to help with this for now. And no new Pokemon to catch either. Never mind.

On my way out I check out Three Isle Path - a ridiculously tiny cave where a man is hard at work prospecting for gold. Honestly, sounds good. Can I give up my career as a Pokemon trainer and join you?

In this economy, not the worst idea. I imagine houses in Tokyo cost ridiculous sums of money.​

All that's left is to check out Two Island, then. I hop onto the ferry and head over there. It's even smaller and more unremarkable than the other two islands, with a tiny population and not much of anything going on.

No Mantine surfing minigames available yet? Lame.​

There's a singular market stall where a hapless guy is trying to make an honest living selling useful items, but his stock is limited so I respectfully pass. God, and those bikers thought Three Island was sleepy...? There's pretty much nothing going on here. To the north there's a high ridge of land - it looks like the view up there must be fabulous, so I make the climb and... well, it's passable. An old lady living up at the top of the cape tells me that she's perfected the most powerful move of a certain type, but none of my Pokemon seem to fit what she's looking for. Well, never mind.

The only spot of interest is the Game Corner, so I head there to deliver Bill's meteorite. Sure enough, there's a guy in there - but he's too consumed with stress for me to politely offer it to him.

Even for this series "Lostelle" is pretty on-the-fucking-nose​

But before anything else can happen, another one of those gross bikers suddenly barges into the room and starts asking where all his buddies are.

Okay, damn. That's pretty funny.​

The Game Corner guy shows some unexpected spine and boots the intruder out of here, before telling me that his daughter often goes to the Berry Forest on Three Island to get ingredients for his lunch. And me being the strong-looking trainer I am, he asks if I can go and search for her. Sure, fine. Guess I can try and scrounge up some berries while I'm there, can't hurt to have more of those.

Back on Three Island, the bikers are still tormenting the locals, but now their boss has finally arrived. In the true manner of thugs, they're only brave enough to take me on once they've got a ringleader to do it behind, and they engage me in battle. Ophiuchus handily takes out the weak Koffing and Grimer the first couple of them use, but once the boss - a rather predatory-looking Cue Ball - reveals a Weezing with a powerful Sludge attack that nearly KOs her, I'm forced to switch out and let Ara take the reins, blasting it and its fellow Muk to oblivion with Psychic.

Actually, what am I saying, all Cue Balls look predatory, it's just the sprite.

Anyway, defeated, the bikers swiftly get lost and the locals cheer me on for my grand heroics. One of them even gives me a Full Restore, which... is quite literally better than nothing, but I'm right next to the Pokecentre anyway.

Off to the Berry Forest we go! On the way there I encounter a Persian and handily catch it. Excellent stuff. I also take the opportunity to say hello with one of my favourite NPCs ever.

​

Berry Forest itself is much smaller than I remember it being. I have this idea of it being a massive, sprawling place with lots of nooks and crannies (kind of what Viridian Forest should always have been...?) but the route to the farthest corner, where Lostelle's... well, lost... is incredibly quick and simple. Any Pokemon in here I should be catching? I don't think so, all I encounter are Weepinbell and Pidgeotto. Ah, well. Lostelle cries and asks me to save her from the scary Pokemon. What scary Pokemon, dear? ...oh. A Hypno.

Um... better not tell her about the one I've been travelling with, then. Even though my one's lovely! And pink! So pretty.

Ahem. Anyway. The scary Hypno that's been menacing Lostelle appears and I swiftly call upon Sextans to see it off. With the day saved, Lostelle thanks me for saving her and we fast travel back to her dad's Game Corner. Neat-o. He praises me for saving his daughter and I finally hand over the Meteorite and he... gives me nothing. Except an invitation to come and play games once this place finally opens for business.

Well what the fuck are you doing assuming I have any of those​

My errand done, I head back outside to find that apparently the guy running the market stall is having a better time of things now. Apparently this is down to me?

Did they really have that much of a bad feeling against Kanto people, though? Sure they didn't like the bikers much, but there was that one guy who thought Sabrina was the bee's knees.

Um... actually no I don't. Tell me more?
​

Anyway, he's managed to improve his merchandise, so I'm happy about that. I take the opportunity to buy 15 Soda Pops at once. Thanks muchly.

I figure it's time to head back to One Island. Not to visit Bill and Celio, though. No, I'm going to take a hike and see about climbing that big fiery mountain in the distance...

The way there - Kindle Road - is a nice but rather rugged trail, full of little boulders that look like they need a good smashing. How about that? Sure enough, I eventually come to a cave hollowed out of the mountainside where a bunch of old folks are enjoying themselves in a steamy spa. Bit gross, but I put my prudishness aside and chat with a bloke who apparently founded this place by hollowing out the caverns. Umprompted, he gives me the tool he used to do this - HM06.

​

Mmmyeah not going to be using this, though. Accepting though I am of the fact that most of my team will need to learn a HM, this one ain't mandatory HM and it's just so weak. Skipping that.

...wait, is it required to climb Mt. Ember, though? I can't remember.

Oh, wait. There is another HM that definitely is required: Strength. And apparently I never picked that one up. Ah, yeah, there's the Gold Teeth still in my bag. And sadly I can't return to Kanto yet. Oops.

Well, I guess that's a task for later, then. I head back to the Network Centre, where Bill and Celio are very proud of themselves for finishing the project they've been working on. It transpires that they've expanded the Pokemon Storage System so that it works in the Sevii Islands.

Oh, really? I didn't even notice, I haven't used a PC the entire time I've been here. My squad of six are here to stay.​

It's been a busy day, but now it's done Bill declares it's time to head back to the mainland. Yes, let's. Celio bids us farewell (taking the opportunity to gush over how amazing his buddy Bill is) and we board the ship back to Cinnabar Island. Bill tells me I can return to the Sevii Islands whenever I want from Vermilion City, then goes home.

Though not before dropping one of the most staggeringly blatant lies I've ever read​

Returning to the Sevii Islands is precisely what I intend to do, Bill. Once I've got a certain task accomplished... must just quickly fly back to Fuchsia, now.

Awfully sorry! You've been waiting for these for five whole months. But, equally, time doesn't pass in Kanto so never mind.​

The grateful Warden hands over HM04, Strength, and I pillage his house for the single Rare Candy he's squirrelled away. Right, now that's sorted... back to Mt Ember we go!

This place is really cool. Honestly prefer it to Mt Chimney, which I've always found rather try-hard. The deep red rocks and quiet, gloomy background music just create so much more of a spooky atmosphere. Though ORAS's iteration of Mt Chimney absolutely slaps.

See, this guy agrees.

​

Rock Smash, as it turns out, is not required to make my way up the mountainside, but as Strength is, I need to decide who will learn it. Cassiopeia seems the obvious choice, but her combination of Aerial Ace and Dig has proved pretty darn effective recently, so I'm loath to delete either of them.

Hmmm... y'know what, why not give it to Ophiuchus for now. Let's boot Softboiled.

​

Right, onwards and upwards. I battle a few trainers and collect a couple of items and realise I still haven't seen a Ponyta yet, though. Some running around ensues before I find one...

...and a Rapidash...

...and finally a Magmar!

Sweet, that's all the exclusive Pokemon from here obtained. Oh wait, there is one more, of course. How many balls do I have on me, again?

​

Well, it'd obviously be deeply silly of me to use the Master Ball here, but hopefully this is just enough to do. Making my way to the very highest point of the mountain, which dramatically overlooks a deep valley below, I find myself face-to-face with a spectacular sight: a Moltres!

Okay, game plan. After ensuring all my team are fully healed, I lead with Cassoipeia and immediately use Yawn as Moltres sets off a Fire Spin. Next turn, it uses Agility as I strike a fairly ineffective blow with Aerial Ace, then falls asleep. Another hit and it's almost at half health. Fire Spin ends, allowing me to switch out. Do I risk a Rock Slide from Lacerta? I honestly don't think it'd do enough to KO.

Hmmm. Moltres might wake up, though. I decide it's better to ensure it's asleep and use Yawn, anticipating it'll wake up (it doesn't). Next turn, I repeat that and it works - Moltres wakes up, blasts Cassiopeia with a mighty Flamethrower, and gets Yawned.

Well now I really should switch, as I won't survive a second Flamethrower. I switch out as Moltres thankfully uses Agility once again and then falls asleep, striking it the following turn with Rock Slide. As I'd hoped, this brings it down to just above the fainting point. Perfect. Time to start chucking those Ultra Balls then. The first one I use breaks, and the second -

​

...works.

Ain't it nice when things work out.

Cool, so that's that, then. A good day's work. I head back to One Island and get the ferry back to the Kanto mainland feeling pretty pleased with myself.

Maybe I should go and hunt down the other two before getting my next badge? Yes, that's not a bad idea at all...

Pokedex count: 89

Current team:
Cassiopeia the Kangaskhan - level 41
Sextans the Exeggcute - level 40
Ara the Hypno - level 40
Lacerta the Lickitung - level 40
Ophiuchus the Chansey - level 40
Apus the Farfetch'd - level 40

 

[Basedwell]

TY for posting OP!! I had a blast reading through the thread yesterday. I was having a bad mental health day due to some news I received, and having your thread to distract me and make me laugh was pivotal in ensuring I kept my composure, as well as inspiring me to make my own storytelling “locke.”

That said, it’s so stressful to hear about all the hits that leave you in the red!! You’re so close, and I’m excited to hear how the E4 goes.

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Part Thirteen

Awright, time to hunt down those other two overgrown pigeons.

After heading back to Cinnabar to buy a dump truck's worth of Great Balls and Ultra Balls, I decide to start with Zapdos. The Power Plant also has two more species I've not yet obtained - Magnemite and Magneton - so that's good.

Sweetheart, seriously, don't even go there because you'll lose.​

Happily, Magneton is slightly more common in LeafGreen than in FireRed so it's not too long before one shows up. Sextans chips away with Bullet Seed and a few Great Balls later it's mine.

Okay, Zapdos time.

As I did with Moltres, I lead off with Cassiopeia and start by Yawning, but it gets in first and paralyses me with Thunder Wave, preventing me from attacking. Second turn, I'm able to get off a Yawn but it hits me with a brutal Drill Peck, forcing me to heal.

I don't even dare switch anything else in, so chip away with Aerial Ace for miniscule amounts of damage. It's awake long before I manage to whittle it down to the red health zone, so I set off another Yawn - but it uses Drill Peck again. Conveniently, there's an X Defend in my bag, which will help blunt that attack slightly, but I still need to heal after every hit out of fear Cassiopeia will fall.

It takes what feels like an age, but finally I get its health low enough and put it to sleep. Catching time! Five Ultra Balls later, the job is done.

​

Well, that's all we'll ever need from this place - time to go.

This side entrance is such a fun little addition they didn't need to make. Love it.

Okay, now it's time to finish the set. We're off to Seafoam Islands! I fly to Cinnabar, Surf east, and...

...oh yeah, this is the wrong side. Have to enter from the other direction.

Seafoam Islands has a few Pokemon I don't have yet as well. I catch a Seel fairly quickly, get a Golbat some time after that, and finally encounter a wild Slowbro. Even when put to sleep, it takes an annoyingly long time to catch. I stick to Great Balls initially, but finally throw an Ultra Ball in frustration and that works. Saving the rest for the big cold bird.

The Strength boulder puzzle is fun. It looks way, way more confusing than it is, and even though I've not done it in a long while, I have no difficulty making my way down to the lowest level and end up in front of the bird.

Articuno time. Okay, once again we're leading with Cassiopeia - I Yawn, it uses Mind Reader, then hits me with Ice Beam next turn as I (taking no chances, here) set up Wish. Okay, now it's asleep. I decide to do things more efficiently and switch straight to Lacerta. Articuno wakes up the very next turn and hits with Ice Beam as I use Rock Slide - dammit. The first hit does around 40% - I need to hit it again. I use a Max Potion and Articuno obligingly uses Mist instead of attacking, allowing for a second hit. Right, now it's time to get you to sleep again. I heal Lacerta as Articuno uses Agility, heal Cassiopeia as it uses Mind Reader, then set up Wish as it uses Agility again, allowing Cassiopeia to switch in safely the following turn and heal from the Ice Beam it takes. Finally, I'm able to set up another Yawn.

Oh, this thing does not want to be caught. I have 21 Ultra Balls in my bag and thought that'd be enough. Apparently that was overoptimistic. It breaks out again and again and again. I've always found Articuno a nightmare to catch, and I don't know why. Its catch rate is supposedly the same as the other two. And yet.

Thankfully, it's used Ice Beam a few times by now. Eventually it'll run out of PP... it takes many turns (and many heals) before then, but finally it exhausts all ten uses of Ice Beam and resorts to cycling through Mind Reader, Mist, and Agility.

Just get in the ball!!!

...and it does. Sixteen Ultra Balls and three Great Balls later. Thank god I bought all those Soda Pops on Two Island earlier. But we've finally got all three legendary birds registered! Beautiful. My Pokedex count is looking pretty respectable.

Well, time to progress. Viridian Gym...

...is closed. Oh yeah, still need to beat Sabrina. Can I enter Saffron Gym yet?

Nope. According to my own rules, I need at least one of my team members to be level 45. I also need to catch both Abra and Kadabra.

Ara is the closest to level 43, so it looks like I better go and do some grinding. And if I'm going to do that, I figure it's best to multitask. I take the Abra I caught earlier out of the PC and equip it with the Exp Share before returning to One Island and running around the grass on Kindle Road - it's not long before my Abra becomes a Kadabra.

Hmmm... may as well baby some other stuff while I'm grinding. Next up is the Pidgeotto I've had in the Daycare. It's grown a few levels and it's not too far off evolving, so I make that my new party member while my actual squad churn experience points. A few levels later, it's evolved into a Pidgeot.

Anyone else? Yeah, I've got a Metapod and Kakuna waiting in the PC... and my starter Squirtle. All three level up very quickly and evolve into their next forms. Hurrah! My new Wartortle is still a few levels away from becoming a mighty Blastoise, so I stick that back in the Daycare and retrieve the Seel I caught, which only needs two more levels to evolve. A bit more work, and I have a Dewgong.

Anything else...? Well, I've got a Koffing that needs (a lot of) levelling up. But Ara is now very close to level 45, so I won't have a Weezing before that happens. No harm in giving Koffing a small head-start, though. Sure enough, a few more battles and boom, Ara becomes the first of the party to reach level 45.

Well then... guess it's time. I head to Saffron and enter what's one of the cooler gyms in Kanto.

By and large, Sabrina's gym trainers aren't that tough. There's an almost-deadly moment when one of their Gastly uses Destiny Bond on Ophiuchus, but thankfully she's not strong enough to KO and so I'm forced to repeatedly using Strength over and over until all of the Destiny Bond PP is used up and I can Water Pulse safely.

I can't remember the pattern in here and I can't be bothered to look it up, so I spend a frankly inordinate amount of time teleporting back and forth until I finally make it to Sabrina.

It's weird they kept this line unchanged. I mean yeah I know Kanto doesn't have any actual Dark-types, but Dark-type moves very much exist here.​

Sabrina introduces herself by saying she dislikes battling. Sure, it's a character point, but... I feel like you're really in the wrong line of work. Never mind. Time to lose!

I send out Apus first and use Fly on her Kadabra, falling oh-so-short of an OHKO. Kadabra uses Reflect but two more hits from Fly run out the clock on that and bring it down.

Sabrina then sends out Mr Mime. Adding insult to injury, it uses the last turn of Reflect to set up Barrier, making Fly even less effective. Or... possibly not, as it then promptly Baton Passes that boost to Venomoth, who takes a big fat chunk of damage from Fly even with the defence boost. Bad luck. Apus finishes off Venomoth and then handily finishes Mr Mime with Cut before it can do anything else.

I switch to Cassiopeia for her actually-threatening Alakazam. Cassiopeia uses Dig, Alakazam sets up Future Sight and then uses Recover. Well, that was pointless. I hit it with Aerial Ace, get hit by Psychic in turn, and get a load of Future Sight damage on top of that. Cassiopeia won't survive another hit... but I'm faster, and I'm pretty sure Aerial Ace will KO. I take the plunge, and it does. Sweet.

Sabrina admits defeat, forks over TM04, Calm Mind, and then gives me a grave warning of imminent danger. Oh wait, no, that's a different game.

Righto! That's seven Kanto badges obtained, now I can head to Viridian City.

Or can I? According to my own rules, I need ten Ground-types registered including Nidoqueen, Nidoking, Sandslash, Rhyhorn, Marowak, and Dugtrio. Well, Dugtrio and Rhyhorn I have, and I also have Diglett, Onix, Cubone, Sandshrew, and Geodude registered as well as Persian... but I still need Sandslash, Nidoking, Nidoqueen, and Marowak.

Hmmm, well, the Nidos are easy enough...

​

Yup, and I have precisely two Moon Stones in my bag. That's that taken care of.

Right, and as for Marowak... hmmm, the only places THAT can be caught are Sevault Canyon and Victory Road, neither of which is accessible to me right now. Guess we're in for a long-ass grind.

Oh, wait. Cubone evolves at level 28. For some reason I had it in my head that it was around level 40. Well, that's much easier. And as for Sandslash, that's catchable on Route 23, but equally it evolves at the pitifully low level of 22. Yeah, looks like it's time for a bit more grinding.

Pokedex count: 105

Current team:
Cassiopeia the Kangaskhan - level 42
Sextans the Exeggcute - level 42
Ara the Hypno - level 45
Lacerta the Lickitung - level 42
Ophiuchus the Chansey - level 42
Apus the Farfetch'd - level 43

 

[Suspicious Derivative]

Great to see that this challenge is still going! I was wondering why it was taking so long. Sorry to hear about your health, I hope you'll get better soon.

Even for this series "Lostelle" is pretty on-the-fucking-nose

I never even thought about this before lmao. Pretty funny now.

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Part Fourteen

Back to the Sevii Islands we go. Went there one time and now they're the centre of my existence, but pre-Victory Road Kanto just has no other decent places to grind.

After a bit of time spent beating up wild Ponyta, I evolve Cubone and Sandshrew.

Okay, now we're good to go. I'm not even sure what to expect from Viridian Gym. It's so varied and Giovanni is a fair leap ahead of where we are in levels, but I have my whole team with me, and Lacerta's Surf to drown the Ground-types I'll meet there.

This guy seems to have nothing else to do but talk about the gym, even in GSCHGSS. My headcanon is that he's like one of those old retirees Walmart hire to be a greeter so they've got something to fill their days with.​

Let's go.

Really? Isn't it written on the...?

HAHAHA. Genuinely the best change they made from RBY to FRLG, this was so fucking dumb​

So, all the trainers in here allegedly like Ground-types, but really they could more accurately be described as just liking "generic tough-guy Pokemon". I've been watching the original series of the anime on the Pokemon TV Youtube channel recently and pretty much every time there's a gang of knucklehead goons they tend to have the same sort of Pokemon: Golem, Hitmonchan, Machamp, Sandslash, Raticate. This gym feels like the closest approximation to that.

And damn, I'm actually caught off guard. The first Tamer I fight is no bother, but I end up barrelling right into the Black Belt behind him, who sends out a Machoke. I'm leading with Cassiopeia and figure "yeah, I can deal with a Machoke even if it is one level stronger than me". Stupid thought. Aerial Ace only does 50%, it uses Revenge, and for a moment my heart's in my mouth as it looks like it's going to KO. It doesn't - Cassiopeia gets left on 7 HP. Eek. Okay, really, really stupid. Luckily my second Aerial Ace is guaranteed to KO.

And then I almost lose Cassiopeia AGAIN to the Cooltrainer with a Rhyhorn, who uses Horn Drill (we're the same level, but it blessedly misses) then narrowly survives two Digs and uses Rock Blast, doing a wicked amount of damage with each blow... but thankfully it stops at 3 hits and I survive.

God, everyone's gunning for Cassiopeia today. It's fine, if she can just survive Giovanni she'll get a treat.

Okay. No more messing around. Sextans hasn't had much opportunity to whale on stuff lately, but the Cooltrainer near the end with a team of five proves a good opportunity to do some mashing. After his Marowak both require a 2HKO, I think it's time to do the sensible thing, get rid of Bullet Seed and teach it Giga Drain. NOW we're cooking. Giovanni, you have no chance.

I approach the Rocket Boss and prepare to send him packing for good.

As powered-up as Giovanni's first Rhyhorn is, Giga Drain is just far too powerful for it. His Nidoqueen surprises me by going first and paralysing with Body Slam, but Psychic is a clean OHKO; Nidoking comes next and gets a critical hit with Thrash, but Psychic sees that off too.

I switch to Ophiuchus for Dugtrio. She hasn't had much chance to battle here - thought it best to keep her away from all the powerful physical moves in here - but Dugtrio is weak enough that I think she can take it. Its first Earthquake is still wickedly strong, doing just under 50%. I don't know if I want to risk a high roll... but my counterattacking Water Pulse, though not strong enough to 2HKO, manages to inflict confusion! I decide to take the risk of attacking but Giovanni uses a Full Heal, allowing me a second free hit which gets a critical hit and finishes it off.

Beaut. Back to Sextans for his final Rhyhorn - it's an intimidating level 50, but I'm not worried. Sure enough, Giga Drain OHKOs again.

Well. That was laughably easy.

Giovanni admits defeat and hands over the grand prize, TM26, Earthquake. Oh yeah, and also an Earth Badge, too. But Earthquake is what I really want. Cassiopeia, that's all yours - it's a clear upgrade over Dig.

​

With that done, Giovanni admits defeat and sods right off, never to be seen again (by me, at least...)

I have my doubts

There's just one final ritual to complete. After Giovanni makes his exit, I fire up the Itemfinder and stand where he stood.

...mmmyeah, I'm probably not going to actually use this thing much but, y'know, completionism. What a weird place to put this item, anyway. Are we meant to conclude that Giovanni was just really into EV training or something?

I like the implication that Curtis, having defeated Giovanni already, was just too much of an asshole to just tell this guy the Gym Leader's name
​

Well, that's all eight badges acquired! Guess it's time to begin the long journey up to the Pokemon League. And hey, speaking of our asshole rival...

...here he is on Route 22. He expresses surprise I got all the badges and proclaims that beating me will be a useful warm-up before the Elite Four. Funny, I had the same thought.

How refreshing to be so outlevelled by an opponent. Curtis leads with Pidgeot. I lead with Cassiopeia thinking she'll be fine, but Aerial Ace does a disappointingly low amount of damage, which Pidgeot further neuters by using FeatherDance. Well, this sucks. It then gets a critical hit with Wing Attack and utterly cripples me.

Oh it is just NOT your fucking day, Kanga Mama​

Screw this. I switch out Cassiopeia for Lacerta, who obliterates Pidgeot with Rock Slide.

Curtis chooses Gyarados next, for which I go for Ophiuchus. She can surely survive a couple of hits. Rhyhorn's Take Down misses and Ophiuchus gets the kill with Water Pulse. Then Curtis chooses Gyarados. Mmmm. Tricky one. After some thought, I decide to simply go with Ara, as she's still the highest-levelled of the team. But Gyarados sets up Rain Dance and then uses Hydro Pump, thankfully missing this hit as well. Okay, rain-boosted Hydro Pump will be nasty, so after a moment's thought I go back to Ophiuchus. Look at that, this Gyarados' entire moveset is special. How funny. Neither Twister or Hydro Pump does much, but Ophiuchus' only attacking moves are Strength and Water Pulse. Strength does absolutely nothing. You could barely call it a chip. But I've got the time, I suppose. I plink away ineffectively, healing with Wish once - finally Gyarados sets up Rain Dance again and I decide to see if Water Pulse is any better. It's not, but I keep firing them off until it drops.

Curtis inexplicably chooses to send his Growlithe out while Rain Dance is still up. I expect to destroy it with no problems, but it uses Take Down and brings Ophiuchus down to just 15 HP. Then my Water Pulse misses. Damn! I heal, but Take Down basically takes off as much as I recovered. And now the rain has ended. Okay, someone else can finish the job. Ara comes back in and OHKOs with Psychic.

It's Alakazam next. Well, Ophiuchus can handle that no problem. ...no she can't. Even after healing, Psychic does a tremendous amount of damage. Ugh. I think Sextans is the only one who can tank the hit and do anything back. I send it out and bring Alakazam down with a couple of Giga Drains.

Last of all is Venusaur. Okay, surely this won't be a problem. I go with Apus, thinking that Fly will quickly take this thing out.

But it uses Growth on the first turn. Fly, super-effective though it may be, doesn't do nearly enough to OHKO - Venusaur then hits with a Growth-boosted Razor Leaf and crits, bringing Apus down to 3 HP. Errr.... it's faster and it'll wipe me out even if I heal, I've only got a Soda Pop which isn't enough. Guess the only thing is to switch. Sextans, again, is the only one I think can do it - it survives a Razor Leaf and KOs back with Psychic.

Well, Giovanni was easier than expected and Curtis was harder. Go figure. Still no deaths, though! Phew.

After healing, it's time to do the badge check gates.

Sure it makes more sense that they're guards but there was something so hilariously kitschy about a couple of them being swimmers in RBY​

Are there any Pokemon on this route I'm yet to capture...? Oh yeah, primeape. But it's slightly more common in Victory Road so not going to waste time looking for it here. I do run into a pleasingly-overlevelled Mankey and catch that so that I can evolve it if need be.

Otherwise, it's a straight shot up to the cave entrance.

I realise that I've barely prepared. Okay, actually let's fly back to Celadon for some Lemonades.

Okay, now it's time. I apply a Max Repel, but am swiftly disabused of their use after wild Pokemon higher than my level keep appearing. Never mind. I generally lead with Cassiopeia because she's fastest and can escape without issue.

Strength puzzle, enemy Cooltrainers, various items to collect. Kanto Victory Road is fun. And rather low-stakes.

Ah, never mind about evolving that Mankey, then.
​

I wish there were a few more Pokemon to catch in here, though, but never mind. The opposing trainers are all fittingly quite tough. I'd thought that everyone being around level 44 would suffice, but after clearing out a bunch of them my team is very quickly in a dire state, and I use up the ten Lemonades I purchased in very quick time.

...might just leave as quickly as possible and mop up later​

Maybe racing to the end is the better course of action. I'd forgotten that, just like way back in my Pokemon Yellow challenge, you can actually go through this place without fighting a single NPC. Lame. But I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I fit the boulder on the second floor into place and stop to briefly pick up TM50, Overheat. Cool move. Too bad nothing I have can use it.

Carefully avoiding being seen, I make my way to the exit where a move tutor is waiting.

ehehehehehehe​

But we made it! We're here, at last. Hoorah.

Okay, after healing it's time to go back in and finish taking care of everyone we missed. Ophiuchus has been struggling along, but the juggler right before the exit has a Drowzee, Hypno, and two Kadabra which she is more than capable of taking down single-handedly.

So now it's time to take stock of my team before we challenge the Elite Four. Time to get things in order.

After a moment's thought, I decide to remove Cut from Apus and Strength from Ophiuchus. Strength on a Chansey is a total joke, and Water Pulse alone doesn't get enough done. She needs more than that. There's no reason I can't return those moves later (and I'll need to, to fully complete the game). But for the Elite Four... we need every coverage option we can get.

Thinking it over, I decide that Apus should learn Double-Edge from the move tutor at the end of Victory Road. And Ophiuchus... she should get Seismic Toss. I head over to Fuchsia, delete Strength, head to Pewter, teach Seismic Toss, head back to Fuchsia, delete Cut, then head back to the Pokemon League and teach Double-Edge. Oh, the admin.

I have some vitamins in my bag, too. Let's load up. Cassiopeia gets some Protein, Sextans gets Calcium, and Ophiuchus gets Iron, Zinc, Carbos, and HP Up. Well, she needed the boosts more than anyone else did. I also have some PP items, so I increase the PP of Cassiopeia's Earthquake and use the single PP Max I've obtained to maximise Sextans' Giga Drain.

Now for hold items. I have two Leftovers. Really I want the two team members who need the most support to get those, so conclude they can go to Apus and Ophiuchus. The only other real item of strategy I have is a Quick Claw: Lacerta is slowest, so gets that. I have an Iapapa Berry and two Sitrus Berries - well, that fits. Iapapa for Sextans, Sitrus for Ara and Cassiopeia. Now I think we're ready...

...except no we're not! Because I can't challenge the Elite Four until I've caught all the Pokemon in Kanto I can obtain without trading.

So then. Let's get to work on that...



Pokedex count: 106

Current team:
Cassiopeia the Kangaskhan - level 46
Sextans the Exeggcute - level 46
Ara the Hypno - level 46
Lacerta the Lickitung - level 45
Ophiuchus the Chansey - level 46
Apus the Farfetch'd - level 46