Strap in, residents of Smogoff. This film is a treasure of our generation, filled with tears of joy for some, tears of laughter for others. Tears of rage for those that don't like it. Nitrox 2 go brrrrrrrrrrr. One thing is certain, and that is that this movie was chock-full of wacky characters (some of whom barely show up on screen). I have taken the noble task of assembling a tier list for ALL of them. I will present my findings here, though you can feel free to make your own. Don't see how it would be different from mine, though.
Oh yeah, you should absolutely watch this movie, either eurobeat version or vanilla (a "director's cut", if you will)
Tier explanations:
S-tier: these characters are close to perfection. They dominate every frame that they appear in, and have several memorable quotes. They are the standard by which every other character is measured.
A-tier: these characters have very strong attributes, but are overshadowed by the characters in S-tier
B-tier: this tier is for characters with some good qualities, but simply do not have enough to be classified as "great" characters from the movie
C-tier: these characters have few redeeming qualities. We are transitioning to "bad" characters, but those classified here are not truly terrible yet
D-tier: characters that either mess up while racing, or I just have no idea who they are.
E-tier: reserved for characters whose actions place them in an overwhelmingly negative light
F-tier (aka Marky Mark tier): dogshit
Banjee Castillo
The undisputed king of highway 35. There is no other. It's not a shocker that almost all the other lines I'm referencing here come from this guy. It's like they were purposefully trying to make the best character in the entire race. Not only is he a meme machine, but he's an amazing driver (taking first place in round 1), has the best theme in the entire show, and lives for the thrill of racing, as he voluntarily reenters highway 35 against tezla's will to practice. After the race is done, he doesn't waste a second before asking when they can race again.
LET'S GO BALLISTIC!!!!!!!!
Taro Kitano
The only other character who can compete with Banjee. This guy skied down Mt. Everest. Twice. He might be a rude, confident bastard, but Taro actually has the record to back it up. This guy is cool and collected under pressure, but he also extends a helping hand to racers that fall behind, too. What a cutie. He deserves team captainship, though his team's gimmick and look are pretty lame.
I'm gonna pass you.
Dan Dresden
The real leader of Street Breed, Dan is the complete package. Great car, great looks, great lines, and gets the glory after his former team leader deserted the squad. This is the guy you want watching your back. He got to come back in the sequel series, too.
Esmerelda
Gee Road Beasts, Dr. Tezla lets your team have TWO good characters? Esmerelda is not only an awesome driver, but has possibly the third-best set of quips in the show. When you race against her, you're always going to be buying the guava juice (she likes it imported, btw).
Alec Wood
This guy has a hundred times more humility than Vert. He works for the team and is an amazing driver. His car is also awesome (portable surfboards!), though it's much more hilarious to imagine that he's never driven a car before and was only recruited since Vert is friends with him. It's never discussed how old he actually is. He might be underage for all we know, lol
Lani
Some much-needed estrogen for not just the wave rippers, but the entire cast, Lani is probably the best driver on the wave rippers, with a classic car to match. She's trusted enough to work with Dr. Tezla in the sequel series, though she is relegated to "girl in the chair". What a waste. She's pretty cute, too...
Bart "Shrimp" Scampi
This man is Bart "Shrimp" Scampi, he is from new york, his name is a way to fry shrimp and his "nickname" refers to his short stature.
Bart "Shrimp" Scampi
Dr. Tezla
Yes, you heard that right. Dr. Tezla. Not much else to say, really. This guy is the only non-driver that we get to place here. Another absolute meme machine, he's legitimately a very complex character, but most of what makes him interesting is revealed in Acceleracers. He's be higher up otherwise.
Kadeem
Kadeem, leader of the Dune Ratz, has probably the best motivations for joining the race (to help his village in africa). He's a really competent driver overall, but has some negative traits--he only has a few memorable lines, gets trolled by the wheel of power, and has to beg Vert for his money after the race is over. Should have raced harder, bro.
Krakatoa
Krakatoa wears epic sunglasses, drives a muscle car, and doesn't give a fuck what you think. He actually congratulates the wave rippers when they win, and has a thing going on with Esmerelda. Also, southeast asia represent.
Major Wheeler
A higher tier than his own child, Major Wheeler knows the value of teamwork. He knows not to let his squad down. Though, he is one of the best drivers in the world, and his son did have the honor of winning the world race. So I can't clown on him too much.
Skeet
Skeet is cool AF. Hunts gators, shoots revolvers, cracks jokes, and will kick your bumper next time!
Mojave
This guy is only here for his car. It's a cool car, no lie, probably the coolest in the entire race, but I don't know a single thing about him.
Kurt Wylde
Although Kurt, or "Zed 36" as he's known for most of the film, is a pretty well-rounded character overall, there's just nothing that redeeming about him. You switch sides to murder all the fellow racers, then can't go through with it because your brother is one of the racers now. You kidding me? You were planning on killing everybody else? Kurt's a complete moron and couldn't see Gaelorum's betreyal coming from a mile away. Go back to grand prix.
Toni
Toni is described as an ex-military rat and able to burrow one-man vehicles into the tightest spaces. Whatever the hell that means. They also gave her one of the biggest cars in the race. I think she's kind of interesting and has a couple of cool lines. Maybe I'm just a simp.
Vert Wheeler
Some of you will be surprised by Vert's placement. He's got it all: the flying car, the expert driver father, the hot girl, the one day-old driver's license (obtained on his 16th birthday). He even got a perfect score on the driving test. How many people do you know who can do that? Well, the problem is Vert is an insufferable moron to keep around. Pretty much every named character on his team is cooler than he is. He's not even funny in a bad way. He's just boring.
Felix Sharkey
I really don't know much about this guy other than the fact that he's called "Sharkey" and that's cool as fuck
Vesuvius
Vesuvius's greatest asset is that he has a really cool car, not just of the scorchers but of the entire cast. Apparently he is italian and has an "explosive temper". Har har.
Pete K
He's an original leg driver and his car is really cool.
Everest
His car is cooler than Jet's, but that's not saying much
Jet Blaney
He races in lakebeds in utah, or something. His car is generic.
Maximo
Maximo is pretty dull, but he was at least recruited for Leg 1, which has to count for something, unlike the leg 2+ drivers.
Charlie
This guy has a cool car, is a former russian race mechanic, and has a high-quality closeup that I could use as a picture. This saves him from D-tier, but just barely
Tono
Tono is actually an OK character overall. However, he gets to occupy a tier almost all on his own because he failed to make it through the portal in leg 4 of the race, since his nitrox-2 boosters failed to work. What, you didn't check your equipment?
Harrison Lau
Harrison is relegated to E-tier because the wiki says he betrays the other drivers and joins Clyp. Cmon, man, you can't be doing that
Mark Wylde
I hate this fucking kid
Oh yeah, you should absolutely watch this movie, either eurobeat version or vanilla (a "director's cut", if you will)
Tier explanations:
S-tier: these characters are close to perfection. They dominate every frame that they appear in, and have several memorable quotes. They are the standard by which every other character is measured.
A-tier: these characters have very strong attributes, but are overshadowed by the characters in S-tier
B-tier: this tier is for characters with some good qualities, but simply do not have enough to be classified as "great" characters from the movie
C-tier: these characters have few redeeming qualities. We are transitioning to "bad" characters, but those classified here are not truly terrible yet
D-tier: characters that either mess up while racing, or I just have no idea who they are.
E-tier: reserved for characters whose actions place them in an overwhelmingly negative light
F-tier (aka Marky Mark tier): dogshit
Banjee Castillo
The undisputed king of highway 35. There is no other. It's not a shocker that almost all the other lines I'm referencing here come from this guy. It's like they were purposefully trying to make the best character in the entire race. Not only is he a meme machine, but he's an amazing driver (taking first place in round 1), has the best theme in the entire show, and lives for the thrill of racing, as he voluntarily reenters highway 35 against tezla's will to practice. After the race is done, he doesn't waste a second before asking when they can race again.
LET'S GO BALLISTIC!!!!!!!!
Taro Kitano
The only other character who can compete with Banjee. This guy skied down Mt. Everest. Twice. He might be a rude, confident bastard, but Taro actually has the record to back it up. This guy is cool and collected under pressure, but he also extends a helping hand to racers that fall behind, too. What a cutie. He deserves team captainship, though his team's gimmick and look are pretty lame.
I'm gonna pass you.
Dan Dresden
The real leader of Street Breed, Dan is the complete package. Great car, great looks, great lines, and gets the glory after his former team leader deserted the squad. This is the guy you want watching your back. He got to come back in the sequel series, too.
Esmerelda
Gee Road Beasts, Dr. Tezla lets your team have TWO good characters? Esmerelda is not only an awesome driver, but has possibly the third-best set of quips in the show. When you race against her, you're always going to be buying the guava juice (she likes it imported, btw).
Alec Wood
This guy has a hundred times more humility than Vert. He works for the team and is an amazing driver. His car is also awesome (portable surfboards!), though it's much more hilarious to imagine that he's never driven a car before and was only recruited since Vert is friends with him. It's never discussed how old he actually is. He might be underage for all we know, lol
Lani
Some much-needed estrogen for not just the wave rippers, but the entire cast, Lani is probably the best driver on the wave rippers, with a classic car to match. She's trusted enough to work with Dr. Tezla in the sequel series, though she is relegated to "girl in the chair". What a waste. She's pretty cute, too...
Bart "Shrimp" Scampi
This man is Bart "Shrimp" Scampi, he is from new york, his name is a way to fry shrimp and his "nickname" refers to his short stature.
Bart "Shrimp" Scampi
Dr. Tezla
Yes, you heard that right. Dr. Tezla. Not much else to say, really. This guy is the only non-driver that we get to place here. Another absolute meme machine, he's legitimately a very complex character, but most of what makes him interesting is revealed in Acceleracers. He's be higher up otherwise.
Kadeem
Kadeem, leader of the Dune Ratz, has probably the best motivations for joining the race (to help his village in africa). He's a really competent driver overall, but has some negative traits--he only has a few memorable lines, gets trolled by the wheel of power, and has to beg Vert for his money after the race is over. Should have raced harder, bro.
Krakatoa
Krakatoa wears epic sunglasses, drives a muscle car, and doesn't give a fuck what you think. He actually congratulates the wave rippers when they win, and has a thing going on with Esmerelda. Also, southeast asia represent.
Major Wheeler
A higher tier than his own child, Major Wheeler knows the value of teamwork. He knows not to let his squad down. Though, he is one of the best drivers in the world, and his son did have the honor of winning the world race. So I can't clown on him too much.
Skeet
Skeet is cool AF. Hunts gators, shoots revolvers, cracks jokes, and will kick your bumper next time!
Mojave
This guy is only here for his car. It's a cool car, no lie, probably the coolest in the entire race, but I don't know a single thing about him.
Kurt Wylde
Although Kurt, or "Zed 36" as he's known for most of the film, is a pretty well-rounded character overall, there's just nothing that redeeming about him. You switch sides to murder all the fellow racers, then can't go through with it because your brother is one of the racers now. You kidding me? You were planning on killing everybody else? Kurt's a complete moron and couldn't see Gaelorum's betreyal coming from a mile away. Go back to grand prix.
Toni
Toni is described as an ex-military rat and able to burrow one-man vehicles into the tightest spaces. Whatever the hell that means. They also gave her one of the biggest cars in the race. I think she's kind of interesting and has a couple of cool lines. Maybe I'm just a simp.
Vert Wheeler
Some of you will be surprised by Vert's placement. He's got it all: the flying car, the expert driver father, the hot girl, the one day-old driver's license (obtained on his 16th birthday). He even got a perfect score on the driving test. How many people do you know who can do that? Well, the problem is Vert is an insufferable moron to keep around. Pretty much every named character on his team is cooler than he is. He's not even funny in a bad way. He's just boring.
Felix Sharkey
I really don't know much about this guy other than the fact that he's called "Sharkey" and that's cool as fuck
Vesuvius
Vesuvius's greatest asset is that he has a really cool car, not just of the scorchers but of the entire cast. Apparently he is italian and has an "explosive temper". Har har.
Pete K
He's an original leg driver and his car is really cool.
Everest
His car is cooler than Jet's, but that's not saying much
Jet Blaney
He races in lakebeds in utah, or something. His car is generic.
Maximo
Maximo is pretty dull, but he was at least recruited for Leg 1, which has to count for something, unlike the leg 2+ drivers.
Charlie
This guy has a cool car, is a former russian race mechanic, and has a high-quality closeup that I could use as a picture. This saves him from D-tier, but just barely
I'll be completely honest, most of these people do not show show up beyond the wiki
Rekkas
I'll be rating Rekkas and Chuvo the same. They both are part of Dune Ratz and failed to make the jump out of the T-rex in leg 3 of the race. They didn't even try to use nitrox. What were they thinking?
Chuvo
See above
Yuctan
No clue who this is
Fluke
Filler character. Next.
Finn
Ditto
Heralda
This guy is australian apparently.
Sanjay Khan
The wiki says this guy isn't even a good driver, he made it into the race because he explores ruins in india and is a good navigator. What?
Wayne Casper
This guy is a mechanic, apparently. His glasses are cool but what's up with everything else?
Ricky Bell
Apparently (according to the wiki), Ricky is known for racing on Michigan avenue, which is between Chicago and Detroit. If you have a brain, you would know that Michigan avenue does not actually go to Michigan.
Griffin Hardy
I couldn't even find concept art of this guy. His car sucks.
Jerry Bolan
Jerry Bolan? What kind of a name is Jerry Bolan?
Rekkas
I'll be rating Rekkas and Chuvo the same. They both are part of Dune Ratz and failed to make the jump out of the T-rex in leg 3 of the race. They didn't even try to use nitrox. What were they thinking?
Chuvo
See above
Yuctan
No clue who this is
Fluke
Filler character. Next.
Finn
Ditto
Heralda
This guy is australian apparently.
Sanjay Khan
The wiki says this guy isn't even a good driver, he made it into the race because he explores ruins in india and is a good navigator. What?
Wayne Casper
This guy is a mechanic, apparently. His glasses are cool but what's up with everything else?
Ricky Bell
Apparently (according to the wiki), Ricky is known for racing on Michigan avenue, which is between Chicago and Detroit. If you have a brain, you would know that Michigan avenue does not actually go to Michigan.
Griffin Hardy
I couldn't even find concept art of this guy. His car sucks.
Jerry Bolan
Jerry Bolan? What kind of a name is Jerry Bolan?
Tono
Tono is actually an OK character overall. However, he gets to occupy a tier almost all on his own because he failed to make it through the portal in leg 4 of the race, since his nitrox-2 boosters failed to work. What, you didn't check your equipment?
Harrison Lau
Harrison is relegated to E-tier because the wiki says he betrays the other drivers and joins Clyp. Cmon, man, you can't be doing that
Mark Wylde
I hate this fucking kid
Last edited:
