Time for another late night Pokémon hot take. Well, maybe it’s closer to mild rather than searing hot, but knowing how much I tend to glaze the Johto region in my spare time away from Smogon, this take could be seen as a two-for-one special. That’s because I really don’t think the Johto region has that many poorly designed Pokémon for what they were designed for and are trying to accomplish. Almost all of Johto’s Pokémon, probably as much as any other region aside from maybe Unova, and even then that’s only because Black & White 1 forced you into using new Pokémon during the main story meaning the developers had to actually try more than usual.
Notice how I said “almost”, though. There are a very small, select handful of Johto Pokémon I dislike, actually, and seeing that Johto’s up there with Ranger’s Oblivia, the Orre region, and the core series’s Hoenn, Unova, and Alola as one of my top favorite regions in Pokémon period- in fact if it wasn’t for Oblivia Johto might actually take the top spot entirely- I’ve often given some thought to what I think my least favorite Pokémon from my favorite selection is, similarly to how I’ve also given thought to what Pokémon I like from regions I dislike noticeably more
or in Galar’s case, regions I actively mock and ridicule on a weekly basis but that’s beside the point. And over the last year or so, I think I’ve settled on Smeargle as my pick for my least favorite Johto Pokémon, at least for now.
My word, they missed the ball with this one. Smeargle’s most prominent… anything in the Pokémon franchise has arguably been the amount of controversy it’s caused in multiplayer battle settings alongside other controversial staples like Ninjask and the occasional Mythical Pokémon (specifically DPP Jirachi and USUM Magearna in their respective OU metas), and while competitive play wasn’t nearly as popular back in Gen 2’s heyday as it is nowadays with the Internet and VGC both being a mainstream thing, Smeargle in its most optimized form(s) missed the point of the Pokémon in question maybe more than any other Pokémon because of how poorly thought out this thing is.
Let’s look at Smeargle step by step. At first glance, Smeargle’s one of the more unique ideas of a gimmick Pokémon we saw during the first handful of generations. The idea of something being super weak statistically being balanced out by the promise of endless customization isn’t unique to Pokémon as a franchise at all, though, and because the setting of Pokémon battles requires you the player to think about stats just as much as Types and, you know, the moves you’re using, that promise that Smeargle can do anything like a sort of “diet Mew” for the lower tiers gets completely lost in translation since almost every Smeargle set you’re going to see ends up using almost the same collection of the most broken status moves in the game almost every single time. Smeargle is a Pokémon meant to represent the creativity of the medium of art, and I don’t know about you, but there’s not much of that theme shown off when this thing’s spamming the daylights out of Spore (and Dark Void prior to the nerf), entry hazards, Baton Pass… you get the picture. But at the same time, what else is it supposed to do? This thing is a pure Normal-Type that doesn’t get much use outside of its Abilities outside of its non-Moody choices, and its attacking stats were purposely made so low to help “balance” this Pokémon out. I almost wonder if Smeargle having better attacking stats would have made this thing more balanced and varied than what we ended up with!
Visually, Smeargle isn’t very strong either, I’m afraid. It definitely looks like a generic Normal-Type especially in its 3D model, and while I like what they were going for with the paintbrush tail and the sort of “painter’s hat” it’s got going on with the body and head shapes, nothing here really sticks out to me as saying “this is a creature meant to inspire the versatility of the Normal-Type’s adaptability” either. To Smeargle’s credit, I do think some of these issues are in part because it was designed with the Game Boy Color’s hardware in mind- Johto Pokémon and the Shiny versions of them tend to stick out in a “memorable yet unremarkable” way, and thanks to hardware limitations they wouldn’t have been able to do anything such as, say, have Smeargle use different colors of paint for different things, for example. The color choices Smeargle does end up with feel plain and almost a little bit boring especially compared to what other Normal-Types before and especially after it would receive, and when Pokémon did finally transition to 3D, the fact that the move Sketch doesn’t make use of Smeargle’s anatomy at all similar to the infamous Blastoise cannons situation and instead just lazily has that animation with the pencil or whatever felt like the final nail in the coffin that was laid to rest early as 1999-2000.
Ultimately, Smeargle feels like a slap in the face to me and makes me feel genuine pity for artists and creative workers around the world. In such a fast paced, busy world, creativity and art should be encouraged and recognized, but it all gets ignored a lot of the time in favor of what’s the most minimalist and practical for the situation at hand. Smeargle’s abject failure to represent its own design philosophy is extremely ironic when you consider the cynical corporate nature of companies like The Pokémon Company, Game Freak, and even Nintendo themselves. There are a lot of creative people that work for them and infinitely more that like to work on things like fanfiction, fan art, fan games, et cetera. But how often do these people get to actually display their craft in fear of getting shunned by the community or, in an employee’s case, risking losing their job because some corporate CEO dirtbag doesn’t appreciate the creative arts? It makes you think, doesn’t it? That’s why Smeargle is my least favorite Johto Pokémon. This gets more depressing the more I think about it.
On the next episode, you'll get to find out what Pokémon I finally pick to be my concensus favorite from my objective least favorite region, basically making it the polar opposite of this post. I hate Galar and especially its games noticeably more than I hate Smeargle, so that should be a real fun one…