as ever, she delivers...
Good people (and the rest of you) of Smogoff, the time has come once again to cast our ballots in the name of democracy. Just as our oftentime geopolitical foes in the so-called "Democratic" Republic of the Cong are holding their election, so too do we Pokémon Go, Mario Run, and Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp our way to the polls once again! Two candidates (with accompanying sidekick vice-candidates, of course) stand before you, vying to become your next PM. The post of People's Mod is a long-standing one, with many storied, honoured holders, such as BIG ASHLEY and, er, Total Clefairy? Well, anyway. It's still a noble calling.
The rules for candidacy, as set out in the ancient scrolls, are simple:
- the PM must have held a smogon account for over six months
- the PM must have posted in Smogoff a minimum of 10 times in the past six months
- the PM may never have been an actual smogon forum moderator, past or present
With thanks to the long-missing Brother monkfish for his work in setting these down. Every day we pray his family find the body.
The format this year plays off of U.S. politics (seems vaguely topical, I suppose?) (it was easier than dividing you up into constituencies for a britpol general election spoof), and as such it has become a two-horse race. These candidates are well-known to you, with legendary forum histories, and some actual good posts every now and again. I present them to you now, with their respective running mates.
They/Themocrat Party Candidate: BIG ASHLEY
The incumbent PM (hello) reaches the end of her 3rd(?) term arguably more popular than ever, with resounding policy victories such as the formation of important trade links with the Union of Studio Smearglist Republics and the bolstering of the Playpenner economy against a predicted market crash. Some critics claim she has only won in previous elections due to a quirk of the voting system; other opponents accuse of being "simply too witty", "extremely attractive", and "earth-shatteringly modest". With her current campaign focusing on the fiscal strengths of her regime, a vote for ASHLEY seems to be a vote for stability, prosperity, and inflated reaction scores for all.
Running Mate: fx
With a fairy shamefully ascending to the ranks of Smogon staffhood, ASHLEY finds herself in need of a replacement. Sources close to the campaign say that the elusive fx, who has yet to officially debut on the campaign trail, "will be back soon", but other analysts claim that ASHLEY is simply propping up an abandoned account to avoid sharing power in any sense -- a claim the PM denies.
Publican Party Candidate: BP
An outspoken firebrand maverick radical, Smogoff icon B "broken phobias" P once again finds himself at the forefront of an election campaign. Kicking off well before the incumbent, the forum's most prominent drunkposter certainly has the enthusiasm, but critics worry that the posting legend lacks on the policy front, with one commentator claiming all BP has is "VK Blue-sky thinking". He certainly cuts an imposing figure on the debate stage, not afraid to criticise -- or praise -- the current administration. Supporters say BP is the bright revelation Smogoff needs, but will he need Jesus to take the wheel? Only time will tell.
Running Mate: PokeKids2
Another iconic Smogoff hero, the announcement that Pokekids2 would be standing alongside BP against BIG ASHLEY has raised more than a few eyebrows, given the young creative's previous role as the Deputy PM under a former administration. Pundits have praised the choice, highlighting it as a voice of experience that BP might just need, but others have expressed doubt, fearing that the iconic PokeKids2 might just overshadow BP in the Posters' House.
Some of you might be wondering if there are any other candidates -- as in any other fair, equal, and free democracy, third-party hopefuls are more than able to run, provided they accept that they stand no chance whatsoever of breaking the capitalist duopoly etc. etc..
With that said, I declare the start of campaign season -- and may the best Poster win!
