Title explains it all, I stumbled upon the hit song "Dollar In The Woods!" by Dan "the man" Keemstar and was inexplicably drawn to it. I listened to it on loop for about an hour, and ended up writing this after. I hope you enjoy.
Introduction:
In the song "Dollar In The Woods!" the titular character Dan "with a plan" Keemstar is going for an ordinary stroll in what seems to be a forest. Stumbling upon a single dollar, he approaches it to learn more, only to find that the dollar was fake and "clickbait". I believe this dollar to be a metaphor for Keemstar's at the time beef with popular youtube Leafy, while the forest is an extension of Leafy himself. Trees are in fact quite leafy in nature so the metaphor absolutely does work.
Stage 1: Denial
"This song can't be that bad, right?" This one statement echoed in my brain, never quite reaching my mouth but never quite fading in my mind. For a bit I couldn't believe the song existed, with the conventional rap type beat but without any of the talent or flow needed to pull of a song in the genre. However, this confusion slowly started to turn to anger.
Stage 2: Anger
"Why am I doing this? Why does this video have 11 million views? This is the worst song I have ever heard." I hate this song. I hate it so much and it's really really bad. I should just stop, I should report the video, if I get enough people to report it maybe I can get youtube to take it down.
Stage 3: Bargaining
"This song was made 4 years ago, Keemstar has to have aged as an artist right? This song will probably be looked upon as Keemstar's lowest point, he's only gonna improve from here." This.. this song isn't bad, right? It's just a bad decision by Keemstar, we all make bad decisions. I'm not wasting my time listening to this, I'm writing a smogoff post, I'm entertaining people. This is a good song and I'm a good person for listening to it.
Stage 4: Lunch
"Yum." I got pretty hungry so I took a break to eat a sandwich, it was pretty good but definitely not the best sandwich I've ever had. The song was stuck in my head all lunch so in a way I never really stopped listening.
Stage 5: Depression
"This is pointless, it's all pointless. What kind of loser writes a song about a single dollar, and what kind of loser listens to it?" I had doubts about making this post near the end of the hour of listening. After all, the song began to wear on me. It affected my mood, how I interact with people, how I view the world. Maybe I should just stop listening to this song altogether.
Final Stage: Acceptance
This song doesn't have to be good. It doesn't have to be bad. It's just a song, by Dan "Keemstar" Keemstar, and that's all it has to be. I'm okay with the existence of the song. Some people like it, some people don't, and that is okay.
Epilogue:
A man walks out onto a porch, beer in hand, and looks out at the starry night sky. He sees the beauty of the shining lights, contrasting the darkness of the night and washing all his worries away. He's okay now, he's safe now, everything is going to be okay. For the first time in a long long time, the man smiles.
Introduction:
[Intro]
Yo! I'm about to burn down this house are you fucking ready?
Are you ready?
I'm going to spill fucking bars like diarrhea! (oh shit)
I'm about to nuke the whole city like North Korea!
Are you ready?
[Hook]
Walked in the woods, (yeah)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (okay!)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (yeah)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (okay!)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
[Verse 1]
I've got my Yeezys on
In the woods, (nice)
I've got my Yeezys on
I'm feeling good, (woo!)
Clickbait, clickbait
This dollar, this whole shit fake! (oh shit)
This was a trap!
Let's gooooo!
[Hook]
Walked in the woods, (alright, alright)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (okay!)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (alright, alright)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (okay!)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
[Verse 2]
I found a dollar in the woods
And I'm feeling so good
Should I share it?
I guess I could?
I picked it up, yes
The dollar was real
Whose dollar was it?
I don't wanna steal, (I know)
Oh shit, someone's behind the tree (oh shit)
I can't see 'cus it's too Leafy! (ooo)
He swung at me, I had to duck
You ain't catching me
'Cus I'm fast as fuck boi (haha)
Yeah, you know I'm fast as fuck
I'm a real killer, you're just a bunch of cucks, (oh)
I don't need weapons, yo I'm getting paid
I'll take you out with my SocialBlade, (wow)
He baited me, took the bait
Why am I still getting hate? (*laughing*)
[Hook]
Walked in the woods
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (okay!)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Yo! I'm about to burn down this house are you fucking ready?
Are you ready?
I'm going to spill fucking bars like diarrhea! (oh shit)
I'm about to nuke the whole city like North Korea!
Are you ready?
[Hook]
Walked in the woods, (yeah)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (okay!)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (yeah)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (okay!)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
[Verse 1]
I've got my Yeezys on
In the woods, (nice)
I've got my Yeezys on
I'm feeling good, (woo!)
Clickbait, clickbait
This dollar, this whole shit fake! (oh shit)
This was a trap!
Let's gooooo!
[Hook]
Walked in the woods, (alright, alright)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (okay!)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (alright, alright)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (okay!)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
[Verse 2]
I found a dollar in the woods
And I'm feeling so good
Should I share it?
I guess I could?
I picked it up, yes
The dollar was real
Whose dollar was it?
I don't wanna steal, (I know)
Oh shit, someone's behind the tree (oh shit)
I can't see 'cus it's too Leafy! (ooo)
He swung at me, I had to duck
You ain't catching me
'Cus I'm fast as fuck boi (haha)
Yeah, you know I'm fast as fuck
I'm a real killer, you're just a bunch of cucks, (oh)
I don't need weapons, yo I'm getting paid
I'll take you out with my SocialBlade, (wow)
He baited me, took the bait
Why am I still getting hate? (*laughing*)
[Hook]
Walked in the woods
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
Walked in the woods, (okay!)
Found a d-dollar, found a d-dollar
In the song "Dollar In The Woods!" the titular character Dan "with a plan" Keemstar is going for an ordinary stroll in what seems to be a forest. Stumbling upon a single dollar, he approaches it to learn more, only to find that the dollar was fake and "clickbait". I believe this dollar to be a metaphor for Keemstar's at the time beef with popular youtube Leafy, while the forest is an extension of Leafy himself. Trees are in fact quite leafy in nature so the metaphor absolutely does work.
Stage 1: Denial
"This song can't be that bad, right?" This one statement echoed in my brain, never quite reaching my mouth but never quite fading in my mind. For a bit I couldn't believe the song existed, with the conventional rap type beat but without any of the talent or flow needed to pull of a song in the genre. However, this confusion slowly started to turn to anger.
Stage 2: Anger
"Why am I doing this? Why does this video have 11 million views? This is the worst song I have ever heard." I hate this song. I hate it so much and it's really really bad. I should just stop, I should report the video, if I get enough people to report it maybe I can get youtube to take it down.
Stage 3: Bargaining
"This song was made 4 years ago, Keemstar has to have aged as an artist right? This song will probably be looked upon as Keemstar's lowest point, he's only gonna improve from here." This.. this song isn't bad, right? It's just a bad decision by Keemstar, we all make bad decisions. I'm not wasting my time listening to this, I'm writing a smogoff post, I'm entertaining people. This is a good song and I'm a good person for listening to it.
Stage 4: Lunch
"Yum." I got pretty hungry so I took a break to eat a sandwich, it was pretty good but definitely not the best sandwich I've ever had. The song was stuck in my head all lunch so in a way I never really stopped listening.
Stage 5: Depression
"This is pointless, it's all pointless. What kind of loser writes a song about a single dollar, and what kind of loser listens to it?" I had doubts about making this post near the end of the hour of listening. After all, the song began to wear on me. It affected my mood, how I interact with people, how I view the world. Maybe I should just stop listening to this song altogether.
Final Stage: Acceptance
This song doesn't have to be good. It doesn't have to be bad. It's just a song, by Dan "Keemstar" Keemstar, and that's all it has to be. I'm okay with the existence of the song. Some people like it, some people don't, and that is okay.
Epilogue:
A man walks out onto a porch, beer in hand, and looks out at the starry night sky. He sees the beauty of the shining lights, contrasting the darkness of the night and washing all his worries away. He's okay now, he's safe now, everything is going to be okay. For the first time in a long long time, the man smiles.
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