Judge a Pokémon Express: Q Up, Panelists!
| « Previous Article | Next Article » |
Codraroll
Hello everybody, and welcome back to Judge-A-Pokémon: Express! This is the series where we gather a team of panelists to give their thoughts on newly released Pokémon designs, or Pokémon designs thematically appropriate to the season. However, since no new Pokémon have been revealed lately (as of writing this, at least; you never know with Game Freak) and the month of September isn't really associated with anything we could find a matching set of Pokémon for, we've taken the third option: This installment of JAPE is brought to you by the letter Q! There are only four Pokémon whose names begin with that letter, and they're all interesting in their own quirky ways. So let us Q up for the panelists' thoughts!
| Quagsire | Quilava | Quilladin | Qwilfish | ||
| Click on the images to reveal everyone's thoughts! | |||||
Kalalokki
Ever think to yourself that you'd want a slimy Slowbro knockoff with the emotional range and expression of a Ditto? No? Well, too bad, because here's Quagsire. Initially blessed with the unique Water / Ground typing, it sort of made up for its lackluster stats and moves at the time. But instead, Game Freak just went ahead and pumped out more slime bags with the same typing over the years, muddying the waters on why one should even bother with Quagsire. No one likes it in competitive either, where its sole purpose is just to stall out physical attackers using Unaware and Recover. Luckily for Quagsire, ignorance is bliss.
lyd
Quagsire is no doubt the perfect embodiment of Unaware. Not only do its face and looks heavily indicate such traits, but several behaviors of the species clearly hint at the ability. For instance, it often hits rocks and boats while swimming not only because it isn't that clever but also because it doesn't care. Do you find it weird they live in muddy swamps? Quagsire doesn't care. They even have an annual competition of attempting to throw round objects at the moon! Do you find it awkward? Well, they don't care either. The human species could really learn a thing or two from Quagsire.
heritage
Quagsire always used to be one of the more infuriating Pokemon to fight back when I used to play competitive, so seeing its endless, blank expression only makes me want to punch it more. Its facial structure doesn't make much sense. I know it's supposed to be a cartoony series, but there are some Pokemon that shouldn't be able to function and survive in the wild, and Quagsire is one of them. There are some inconsistencies with its official art too. Sometimes it doesn't even have its nose drawn. Just low overall quality throughout its whole design and a huge step down from the cuteness that is Wooper.
GatoDelFuego
Quagsire is dumb, dumb, dumb. Yes, that is its design goal, and yes, its design is simple, and yes, the design works for the 50th time, but this design is stupid and shouldn't have been made. Making a fat, blue, human-shaped blob thing is not aesthetically pleasing and Quagsire serves basically no purpose in Pokemon. Go swim into a sea mine.
Codraroll
Quagsire is the sort of Pokémon that can stand inside a burning bus without brakes, headed for the edge of a cliff overlooking a giant thorn thicket that's also a minefield, and still have the time of its life. Look at that perpetual smile, it's half as wide as the total reach of Quagsire's arms! Quagsire seems to always enjoy the situation, probably because it's too unintelligent to process the concept of worrying. The eternal optimist, because it doesn't know any better. Quagsire is ugly, but does it care? Heck, it probably doesn't even know.
heritage
Quilava has always been one of my favorite middle-stage evolutions, or at least high enough on the quality level to where I don't hate it. It's a really simple design, but on a base level, there just isn't much wrong with it. Cute, can look intimidating when it needs to, and a great middle ground between Cyndaquil and Typhlosion. It's a shame it loses a lot of that flare when it evolves (not that Typhlosion is THAT bad). Even I admit that it looks really awful when its flames are down, just like its whole evolution line. Its solid overall design can't save that ugliness, but it fares better from the 3D models than the other two do, at the very least. Its shiny form is also super pretty.
Kalalokki
Quilava is the edgy teenager of the family, where one can only hope that its adamant beliefs about this not being a phase turn out to be wrong. It was such a good lad back when it was just a cute little Cyndaquil, always happy, cheerful, and keen to snuggle together with its trainer. But now, it's all about burning, doing flaming cartwheels, and listening to that infernal rock music. As if that isn't bad enough, it started an emotional hardcore band together with Silvally, Absol, Zweilous, and Lycanroc-N: My Bitter Eternal Roserade. Truly insufferable.
lyd
Quilava has one huge frustration in life: no one ever takes it seriously, absolutely nobody. It has big dreams of winning a major tournament, being a Pokémon ranger, possibly even pursuing a musical career, but auntie Delphox keeps telling it it's the same cute Cyndaquil it once was and grabbing its cheeks. Even daddy Typhlosion doesn't support its ambitious endeavors: "Its just a phase". But Quilava will impress them all, it will be a fierce fighter one day, Quilava just must be able to beat its friend Chikorita before that.
{Pokemon_Vigilante}
Flaming ferret of doom or warm fiery cuddle buddy? I think we all know that fire is dangerous, but Quilava makes it looks cute. As far as middle evolutionary stages go, there aren't many cooler looking than this little Fire starter. Besides, with the heating power Quilava possesses, you can roast Chesnaughts over an open fire all year round!! Some day this well-behaved fire fiend will hit level 36 and evolve, and then it'll be too big to cuddle. They grow up so fast.....
Pikachu315111
With a fiery mohawk, one could say Quilava represents the attitude of many middle-staged Pokemon: angsty teenager. Joking aside, I think Quilava does a good job bridging the evolution gap between Cyndaquil and Typhlosion. It has a small flame on its rear and head, showing how Cyndaquil's back flame becomes Typhlosion's fiery mane. These two flames plus Quilava's long body also helped link it to a Fire-type move often associated with it: Flame Wheel (even if nowadays it can't use it as effectively). Quilava's hidden ability, Flash Fire, is a nice fit for it, as it matches Pokedex descriptions of it being fireproof and able to suddenly ignite its flames to high temperatures. And finally, it's one of the few adorable middle-stage starters. :)
Pilo
And so I sat there in front of my cheap laptop for 10 minutes wracking my brain, searching for a single positive or remotely interesting thing to say about this Pokemon, and I'm here to report that I've just failed miserably. Quilava is blandest Pokemon of the whole 807. You'd be hard pressed to find a design more lacking in every regard. It's just a green and yellow rodent creature with fiery protrusions on its head and tail. Remove the fire and it gets even lamer. Hell, I'm not even sure what kind of animal specifically it's meant to be, this one is just a total dud.
Conni
It appears the burning personality of an juvenile human can be also found in the middle members of an evolutionary line. A great specimen of this statement is Quilava. When it was still just a young Cyndaquil, it appealed to young trainers due to how adorable it looked and how comfortable it seemed to raise. But now as a Quilava, it has become the striking example of growth, shedding away its childlike demeanor for a more blazing outlook evident in its lit mohawk, literally. It may be tough for newer trainers to adapt to this change, but it's all part of growth for the trainer and the Pokemon because everyone changes—you just gotta learn to live with it. However, living with a mohawk made of fire seems pretty tough.
GatoDelFuego
Read my lips (or at least my previous JAPE musings): I love Fire starters. Quilava combines the best of any starter Pokemon middle evolution: lovingly cute & cuddly things like the body shape with hints of power like the angry eyes and bursting flame. So, that makes it cute & angry, which combine into a feedback loop to create my favorite Fire starter of all time. Slap on a slick color palette of red, yellow, and olive, and you've got a Pokemon that's pleasing whether you look at it for just a second or dig deep into its "personality". The design is simple, but it works. I want one! But man, does the switch to 3D models hit Quilava hard, so I will just forget about it completely so I can maintain my good GSC memories.
Kalalokki
Another one of these awkward teenagers; this time it's just a fella that thought he used to be kinda cool in his class as a Chespin, but he grew up to be kinda chubby and weird. Always wearing this childish green armor its mom made for it after it came back with too many bruises one day. Quilladin became the third wheel next to Braixen and Frogadier, which feel pressured to keep it around, as they all grew up together. Quilladin also has this weird collection of various caltrops that its dad brought back from a business trip, always trying to show them off and placing them under people's seats as pranks that only serve to further alienate them from Quilladin. Catch a break, kid.
lyd
While most starter middle evolutions prefer to take the "edgy teenager" route, mostly demonstrated by Dartrix and Wartortle, Quilladin still keeps the gluttonous and quirky feel from Chespin. All in all, it really seems like Quilladin is a Chespin that ate too much and decided to merge its head and trunk, apparently. Good thing Quilladin realized its diet was unhealthy for it and decided to go to the gym to burn some calories to evolve into Chesnaught. Well, it's not all roses for Chesnaught, because all it can seem to talk about now that it evolved is whey protein.
Pikachu315111
Quilladin is a Pokemon you need to see in the right angle to appreciate; and I don't just mean for its appearance. There's a theme going on with the Generation VI Starters, the roleplaying trio of knight-mage-rogue, that starts to show itself with the middle stages. Chespin and its evolutions are the "knight", with Quilladin first showing signs of this through its armor made from chestnut shells. This gives it high Defense (and a hidden ability, Bulletproof, that protects it from certain projectile attacks) and a good Attack stat but makes it slow—as you'd expect of a knight. I liked what they tried to do, though I think if its eyes had remained like Chespin's for this stage it would have looked less awkward.
Pilo
HAHAHA look at this stupid nerd and his stupid nose and stupid face and chubby body. If there's one Pokemon who I want to beat up and whose lunch money I want to steal, it's Quilladin by a landslide, it's practically begging for it considering how dumb and dorky it looks. When I was a kid I generally saw starter Pokemon as starting off cute in their first stage, looking "cool" during their second stage and becoming daunting powerhouses during their third stage. Regretfully, Quilladin is the least "cool" looking middle evolution any starter line has ever had. It doesn't look sleek, or agile, or full of attitude like Frogadier or Braixen for example, it's just fat and awkward. Perhaps this was meant to be symbolic of the kind of people who go through this phase as teens, a possible self-insert character?
antemortem
Imagine me typing "Quilladin" into my Google search bar, only recognizing the name as "the Pokemon between Chespin and Chesnaught... I think." Now imagine Quilladin's picture lighting up my screen, and my audible "eugh" under my breath as it sets in that I have literally never seen this Pokemon until now. Sure, I've always known about it—I heavily campaigned to prove Froakie's superiority over its fellow Kalos Starter Pack companions, and that required discussing at length their final evolutions—but I never really knew about it. And for some reason, I don't care to know more! I'm sure it's got a great personality, though. It's not you, Quilladin, it's me.
Codraroll
It has to be said, the middle evolutions of Kalos's starter trio are all pretty cool. The exception, of course, is Quilladin. It's like a giant Lum Berry tried to grow a face, horns, and limbs, except it failed in all three aspects: the limbs are way too short, the face is way too derpy, and what is a Lum Berry supposed to do with horns, anyway? I suppose they are there to give Quilladin's silhouette a sort of star shape, balancing out its top and bottom. Overall, though, the horns add little to the design, and it gets even worse once you realize they are bigger than its legs. At least they draw the eye away from the derpy face.
{Pokemon_Vigilante}
Qwilfish has a cartoonish type of feel to it in terms of appearance. Perhaps it's nothing more than a SpongeBob SquarePants reject, or maybe it hasn't been given the attention to detail that the other aqua Pokémon of the series were afforded. I fail to see how the little spikes that come out of the scales of Qwilfish can even be called quills. In fact, to me, it looks more like a dust bunny with wood splinters in it. There was no effort given to this particular Pokémon in its artistry, so how can we be expected to appreciate it?
heritage
Why is Qwilfish so angry all the damn time? I don't think I've ever seen official art that makes it look happy. Although, I suppose if my soul got stuck in a body like that, I could be pretty aggressive too. It had a lot of potential as a design, but that idiotic expression really limits any intimidating factor it can have. Frankly, with the way its body is constructed, it shouldn't even be able to swim properly. Really forgettable Pokemon overall. Admittedly, though, a dark side of me likes the fact it can learn Self-Destruct. Self-frying fish!
Pikachu315111
Qwilfish is one of those Pokemon that are easy to forget—which is a shame, as it's an interesting example of Pokemon combining three designs together: a puffer fish, naval mines... and a cooking utensil? From the puffer fish it gets its poison aspects and ability to inhale water to inflate itself (probably why it gets Intimidate as a hidden ability). From naval mines it gets the ability to explode. Finally, its tail resembles cooking paddles used to make sushi; this goes back to the puffer fish, which is infamously used to make the fugu dish (the paddle tail is probably why it gets Swift Swim). The three designs blend nicely together to make Qwilfish a deadly dish of poison and explosion!
Pilo
Listen, I know I was just beating up Quilava for being plain and boring, but I actually hold Generation 2's designs in very high regard, and Qwilfish to me is almost emblematic of the greatness of these designs. The concept of a naval mine that's also a puffer fish seems so intricate and clever but at the same time simple to the point of being comically dumb. It's the same kind of silly humor that manifests itself in many of the overly dumb English names many Pokemon have and is in my opinion an important part of what makes the games so entertaining.
Conni
No one really knows why Qwilfish looks so mean or overly serious; maybe it's the fact that it looks like a battle mace? Or maybe it wants to be intimidating but sadly can't match up to the likes of Staraptor and Gyarados in that aspect, only in its dreams. From another perspective, it may be gloomy because of how simple it looks, resembling a real-life puffer fish bar some colors and a cartoonish face. It also may feel sad it wasn't given enough attention in design when you look at other Water-types like Golisopod. Despite all these negative factors about the simple-looking Qwilfish, I still think it's pretty awesome that it looks like a poison-tipped battle mace, although too bad it's a balloon.
antemortem
Qwilfish, Qwilfish, Qwilfish... how does it feel to be the ugly stepsibling of the entire aquatic Pokemon kingdom? There is something somehow more endearing in Huntail's browless, deadpan stare and crooked underbite. However, while Qwilfish's cock-eyed, cartoonish glare is permanently stuck on the "Angry" setting, you have to wonder if there are childlike goals, dreams, and personality traits lying somewhere deep below, just waiting for a nice Corsola to come around and melt the icy exterior trapping them. Seriously, Qwilfish looks one drink away from slurring "Get off my lawn!" to a school of Wishiwashi.
GatoDelFuego
Pokemon designs have almost always come out of two categories: nature and technology. What's a stylish, unique, and exotic animal? The puffer fish. It's a no-brainer that we'd have a puffer fish Pokemon among the 800 designs, and Qwilfish just wound up being in Generation II. This Generation almost felt afraid to take risks with Pokemon design, opting instead to keep them closely linked to their inspirations and thus very simple. Qwilfish's design is simple, and it does work. But could it have worked better? I think Qwilfish misses out on its potential. Spike launchers? A metal chain to link with a sea mine? Go full balloon route and make Qwilfish part Flying? Interesting concepts that will be lost behind a mostly forgotten Pokemon.
Codraroll
As you can see, there are many different ways to describe every Pokémon. The designs evoke different reactions in all of us, even those we have all been discussing for many years, used in multiple playthroughs, or faced in more battles than we can count. We've all seen those Pokémon, but our experiences are all different and the way we think of them too. Look forward to more JAPE installments in the future, where we will gather another set of vaguely linked designs for our panelists to discuss!
| « Previous Article | Next Article » |