With the Marsh Badge in the pocket, I head for Viridian via Diglet's cave. Molasses takes the lead at the Viridian Gate where Oak's little helper provides me with a Sacred Ash. Apparently, it revives all my pokemon at once.. they really don't make items like that anymore! This will be very useful against Red.
I decide to do the sights in Viridian: Some dude gets me TM Dreameater (Does it really deserve to be a TM?), I get my ass whupped in the trainer house and get stalked by the coffee-holic weirdo. Well, that was a bust! Let's get the hell out of this town!
Somewhere on Route 1: A level 47 Magmar, Electrabuzz and Jynx give Molasses a hard time before he can cross one Ice type from his list. *Rattata appears in the grass* Really, Gamefreak? A level 2 Rattata? Way to raise the difficulty around here! Wait.. did these trainers grind all the way up to level 47 by soloing
these?! I almost admire the dedication. Too bad he still lost to
Smog.. Better luck next time! You know what? I'll save the other trainers here for the next chapter! (OMG, Cliffhanger!)
Back in the Pokecenter Reckless is boxed and Fusion returns to the team. Now that the other pokes have leveled a bit, he's not so overpowered anymore and his Intimidate will come in handy soon enough.
Viridian Forest:
Bug Catcher: "Why do girls dislike bug pokemon so much?" Um.. Because they're creepy? After a battle: "We should exchange phone numbers so I can educate you on the merits of bugs.." I stand corrected: It's because
you're creepy. PHONE DENIED!!
Hey, it's Bugsy! What is he doing
here? Training, eh? Let me see what wild pokemon we have here? *A level 3 Hoothoot appears* Um... yeah let's have a rematch some day.. *Walks off to find a normal person*
WHOA! A LEVEL 60 METAPOD! YOU SIR, ARE AN EPIC BOSS!! But why does it only know Harden.. That's just lame! Why not give it Bug Bite or Tackle so it can be a hard boss fight for level 20 pokemon? I'll just gather some items, have Molasses Smog the crap out of these Hoothoot and be done with this forest. Some HP EV's won't hurt before the Gym either. Also: 70% accuracy, my ass! Smog misses ALOT!!
In Pewter there isn't much to do. Even the museum is a bust! At least in Hoenn there were some proper evil grunts to battle. I'll just head for the gym: Molasses is at level 53 now; that seems sufficient, doesn't it? But I do spend two PP-ups on Protect; Brock is going to learn the empirical definition of "stall".
Pfft.. Only two gym trainers? Even that is lousy in Pewter. Alright then, Koops and Buster can have their solo. Random Gym Girl: "Rock types have very high defense, battles may end up going for a long time.." *Koops OHKO's the Rhydon with a Water Pulse* Shortest battle yet!
Random Hiker Dude: "RA-RA-CHANK!" He's just making random noises! Was Gamefreak not even bothered enough to give him a proper phraze? But when he sends out his Golem the noise starts to make more sense, unfortunately. Buster MUST solo this dude but his Golem carries Roar. FREAKIN' ROAR!!! And it uses it ALL THE TIME! The stupid rock can't even kill one of my team members to Buster can GET ON WITH IT!!
*Sighs*
After a lot of switching Buster finally takes it out. I really got worked up how Roar never seems to drag Buster out.. Flinch hax does seem to make it up, though.
Versus Brock:
Molasses always wanted to be a rock type. Rock types are cool! To become his own rock he must first prove himself by soloing the authority on rock-type pokemon. But Brock isn't going to make it any easier. Each pokemon has at least two STAB super effective attacks. The lead Graveler has a powerfull Earthquake that can OHKO Molasses unless it has two defense boosts or a Shuca Berry. Omastar's Brine hits unexpectedly on the special side and Kabutops' raw power is enough to break through minor boosts. Does Molasses have what it takes to be a rock type?
I bring to this battle:
- Leftovers. They're too awesome to pass up.
- 5x X-Def, 3x X-SpA, 3x X-SpD
- 7x Milk and an Ether
- Fusion to Intimidate Graveler
The Plan:
- Use Fusion to Intimidate Graveler twice (instead of shuca berry)
- Don't get nailed by a critical hit! Take a crit an you're dead! Don't even blink!
- Poison with smog and then Protect until something dies.
- Use leftovers to counter sandstorm and recover during sleep Protect
*Fusion switches in thrice to Intimidate Graveler, Buster dies and Molasses enters the arena for his first solo*
"Yawn and Protect! Go go go!" Molasses takes the first Earthquake with 55% and luls the Graveler to sleep with Yawn. As long as his foes are sleeping he is sure to dodge a potential critical hit; his number one kryptonite! My slug only needs to 5 Yawns to crumble the rock with Ember and set up essential X-items:
- Three X-Def enable Molasses to tank two Rock Slides after leftovers.
- Three X-SpA for power, but obsolete next to burn and poison damage. What was I thinking?
- Three X-SpD are needed to counter Omastar later.
*Rhyhorn is burned upon waking from a two turn slumber* "Yes! Crippled the bastard!" Protect and Ember wear down pokemon number two.
But Omastar is a different cookie alltogether: Brine does 55% after three special defense boosts and Molasses is forced to stall two turns of leftovers to take a second hit. I need this thing to sleep and Yawn right off the bat. Protect, potion.. and time to unleash the Smog!
*Omastar wakes up and Brines, Smog MISSES*
Magnificent.. That inflicted
zero damage while Molasses is back to yellow health. I need to Protect
twice in a row to live a second Brine to Yawn. I'm soo happy with these leftovers; without them, I'd need another X-item! Protect once.. the bastard keeps going for Brine. Protect twice! *Molasses lives Brine by 5 HP* (Phew) Fortunately, the Ammonite sleeps a little longer and the first batch of Smog starts chipping off pathetic chunks of damage. *Omastar wakes up and Brines* Rinse and repeat: 2x Protect, live Brine at 5 HP, Yawn and Protect.. Heal and Smog while it sleeps:
*Omastar wakes up. Smog finally poisons!*
SUCCESS!!! Time to stall him out with Protect! *Brock used a Full Restore* "Aw.. give me a break!" Brine takes Molasses back to the yellow. Sigh.. Protect to Recover health, Protect to..
*But it failed!!*
..
..
*Omastar used Ancient Power, Molasses lives by 5 HP*
OMG!! Brine must be out of PP.. Molasses actually stalled the danger with Protect! Gradually, Omastar starts spamming Spike Cannons and Smog poisons for the second time. Not a moment too soon. I'm actually out of PP for Yawn AND Protect. Even Smog is running low on fumes (pun intended). Molasses can sit here all day now that Brine is gone, time for an Elixir and a Potion while the poison wears him down.
Next is Onix: Screech will take away my defense boosts.. AW HELL NO!! So this time around I scout with Protect. Sandstorm is annoying but at least I can safely put this thing to sleep. Now lets just Ember this thing and...
*Onix switches out to Kabutops*
Oh, bugger! *Kabutops' Rock Slide does a hefty chunk of damage* Looks like it still does over half.. Shit! How am I going to put this thing to sleep? I opt for a fourth defense boost after using protect to gain a crucial bit of health back. It works.. sort of. Molasses hangs on by a hair as the Slashing Trilobite gets drowsy. "Molasses, time to Smog!" It deals minor damage but misses on the crucial turn it wakes up. Another Protect/Yawn/Protect combo then. Smog actually gets Kabutops down to the yellow before it poisons! BOO-YAH! This is going well. Protect once. Protect twi..
*But it failed!*
Oh shit..
*Molasses lives Aqua Jet by a tread.* Another Protect should stall out the final blow from poison.. *Brock uses a Full Restore* .. or maybe not? Rinse and repeat! Kabutops gets to sleep three more times before it gets poisoned. On the plus side, it runs out of Rock Slide PP. Aqua Jet still does a lot of damage, but I get free turns when it Endures and Giga Drains.
*It's a critical hit!*
... Gasp!
I get some massive luck on my side!! Brock finally gets his critical hit, but on a worthless Giga Drain! Poison takes out the Kabutops and Onix returns for round two: What could possibly go wrong? A few Embers activate Sitrus Berry, but no burn. Back to sleep with Onix and more Ember to take it out. *Another Full Restore* Goddamnit! Why won't it just die already! Another Yawn.. just one more hit!
*Onix woke up*
*Onix used Rock Slide*
..
*It's a critical hit!*
...
Words can't describe my frustration. I was already taking down notes for this warstory, confident in my victory. That bastard Onix with his final Rock Slide gets the crit.. Really, Gamefreak? Can't you just give me this one? *Resets game and wins after a couple of times*
During the battle the frequent brines solidify bits of flying rock and sand on Molasses' back as it evolves into Maccargo. Brock congratulates him on an epic solo and hands him Rock Slide. Molasses refuses. "What good did that TM do you? You lost the match (well eventually)!" He decides to stick with his main power move Smog and vows to uphold the awesomeness of the rock type. There's even a little ceremony involved. But with great power comes great responsibility. Time to settle an old feud with the Water Type. It's about time Molasses payed Misty a visit!
Route 3:
On the road to Mt. Moon lives a Youngster named Jimmy with his prized Raticate. He brags how his Double Edge is way cooler than Buster's Flamewheel and dares him to solo all trainers on Route 3 without visiting a Pokecenter. Buster accepts this challange of course and vows to finish his solo with Youngster Jimmy's own Raticate to prove he belongs in the Top%. But before Buster can start, Gavin wants yet another rematch. Who am I to say no? *Molasses now easily solo's his team* Back to business:
In a double battle with Serene: Electrabuzz has that annoying Discharge to paralyze both pokemon before Serene can set up Safeguard! What a bitch! Buster burns him with Flamewheel in retaliation.
Versus a Firebreather: Buster is burned by Magmar and gets to spam guts boosted Flamewheel. But the subsequent Weezing is not amused: Two Bites fail to take it out and it decides to Explode. For god's sake! Third time's a charm: finally no burn as he takes down Magmar! I decide to heal while Weezing comes in to be on the safe side..
*Weezing used Explosion*
.. "gasp!"
*Buster hangs on by 5 hitpoints* What a beast! But the battle isn't even over: The Firebreather's final poke is a level 47 Camerupt who burns through two Hyper Potions with Earthpower before Buster can take it out. These are some heavy matches for him!
Versus a Hiker: "Hey, a Graveler! Too bad Buster must use Flamewheel first!"
*Flamewheel crits and burns the Graveler*
"Awesome! Keep going Buster!*
*Graveler used Explosion*
FUUUUUUU!!
*Buster survives the blast*
What a beast! "Buster, go and kill that Rhydon!"
*Rhydon's Hammer arm takes Buster out with a critical hit*
GODDAMNIT!!!
I have to do this battle
seven times before Buster pulls through. Explosion kills without an X-Def, and Rhydon gets an uncanny amount of critical hits. [Insert rage episode here]. Finally, Buster gains the upper hand: Flamewheel on the Graveler, X-Def and Focus Energy while Explosion fails to K.O. my rat. Heal and take a Hammer Arm. Bite while Rock Blast hits three times instead of four: WHOA, I LIVED THAT LIKE A FREAKING BOSS!! Hyperpotion time: Bite flinches and the Rhydon bites the dust! Epic solo right there; that X-def totally saved my ass on this one!
Versus a Blackbelt's Poliwrath: Buster is forced to Flame Wheel while Mudshot lowers his speed. Next turn Hypnosis puts him to sleep before he can move. This is where the fun starts: Hydropump and Dynamic Punch take Buster down while he refuses to wake up. I reset. "Screw this, I'm using awakening this time!" *Four Hypnosis in a row later* "Oh, come on!! Even Hydropump seems to hit every time!"
*Dynamic Punch hits on the first go* DOES THIS DUDE EVER MISS!!
He doesn't. Two attempts later Dynamic Punch and Hypnosis keep on hitting. But my rat finally survives a punch with 30 HP. "Allright, time to end this! Buster, use Pluck!" *Buster is put to sleep* CURSES! I go for a Full restore while Hydropump hits. "Please, wake up!" *Hypnosis sleeps, Dynamic Punch hits too* WHY.... WONT..... YOU.... EVER... MISS!!!
"Okay, Mr. Poliwrath: Alea Iacta Est! Time to use Buster's ninja skills!" This time I give him a Chesto Berry. All of a sudden Flamewheel decides to get the burn hax, leaving Poliwrath's most dangerous weapon neutered. Hypnosis is finally countered and two Plucks kill the constipated tadpole frog thingy. Finally! This is one exhausting route. *Goes to fight the next trainer* Goddamnit, HOW MANY TRAINERS CAN THERE BE!!
Yet another Blackbelt dude: "Ohh great! A Primeape.. Let me guess: Dynamic Punch? Wait.. Flamewheel does over half damage.. And why does Machoke keep making these Scary Faces? Hell, faces don' scare me, boy!" *Pluck claims another victim*
yet another Hiker: Please! No more Self Destructing Graveler or Rhydon! Oh.. a Magneton.. Steelix is even burned by Flamewheel. Now, that's more like it!
With the last trainer defeated, it's time for Youngster Jimmy to face the music. Buster is running low on PP and the last potion has already been consumed. Still, he has around 50 HP left, it should be enough: Flamewheel burns his Raticate, who goes for Assurance. Top %, my ass! It doesn't even do damage. Parasect is utterly destroyed by Pluck and Arbok simply gets burned again. Wow, this route was a lot longer and harder than I imagined. I actually wasted 10 Milks and all Flamewheel and Bite PP on this. On the plus side I think that Buster had enough training to take on Blaine: He went from level 49 to level 53 in no time.
Gamefreak conveniently placed a Pokecenter next to the entrance to mount Moon. Time to heal and head back to Cerulean. *Dramatic Rival Theme Plays* Oh no! Maniacal music! who could it possibly be?
Versus the Rival - Part V:
The Rival is even slower than Molasses. He had all this time off screen to train and he's still behind the Kanto gymleaders.. His lead Sneasel demonstrates his mental challenge by burning himself on Magcargo's body. "Nice going, derp!" Molasses doesn't even notice the hit. Apparently, he's still holding the leftovers from the previous battle, transforming him in an epic tank.
The rival returns a smouldering pile of ash to his pokebal and sends out Alakazam. "Seriously?
That is your best counter?" Yawn and Protect do the usual thing but Zam wakes up early and disables Ember. "Sigh.. do we really have to make it tedious? Let's go for Smog then!" Zam takes another nap and disables Smog this time. "Oh no! What must I do without my oh so powerfull Smog?" *Ember roasts Alakazam*
Meganium gets up a Lightscreen to prolong this battle even more.. But two can play that game! Molasses dodges a nasty poison powder with Protect while the grass-dino (i guess) falls for his trade mark trick. Bwahaha! Molasses is such an annoying boss like that, it never gets old. The flowerpower dinosaur wakes up early and lands a critical Petal Dance. My god! That nearly took out my Magcargo. I almost forgot he's part Rock type now.. I'll just Protect for recovery and stay in for the Yawn.. *Petal Dance brings Molasses down to 5 hp* What a boss!
Magneton is next. He even gets a critical Discharge and paralyzes Magcargo. Dang! I'm at low health and don't want to blow my Full Restore. Hah, I'll just Protect first and hope that it works. *it does*. Magneton sleeps, Molasses is back to full health and Ember takes down pokemon number four.
But Gengar spoils my Day. It Curses while I foolishly go for Yawn. This is unfortunate. Ember takes it out, but the constant Curse damage forces me to switch in the HM fodder to heal. Golbat burns itself on Molasses body and confuses it. LOL! It seems to take more damage from his burn than any actual attack. One more thing to cross of Molasses' list.
To Cerulean:
Mt Moon isn't quite the epic dungeon I expected it to be. Even the pokemon are their trade mark pathetic levels again! At least I get some items before continuing to route 4.
Camper Girl: “I have the feeling I can win” *Molasses roasts her only Flaafy* Think again!
*A Bird Trainer sends out his level 13 Pidgey* "Wow, Gamefreak must have really disliked you!! And stop using Roost with that Pidgeot! Seriously? Seven times in a row? No wonder your Pidgey is so underleveled.." Heh, that solo 50 trainers becomes a piece of cake with guys like this.
Versus a Camper's Furret: "Molasses, use Ember!" *Furret uses follow me* What is that Furret doing running around like a headless chicken? Well it does make things easier.. Another Ember? *Furret "cunningly" switches out* Let me guess: He has a level 10 Oddish next? *Rapidash's Flash Fire raises it's power* Oh.. shit, didn't see that one coming. *Smog poisons and kills eventually* I can't say I'm impressed.. His pokemon didn't even land a single hit! Oh well, gym time!
There's nobody at the gym yet. Misty is still at the cape with her "boyfriend". I think it's very strange that he just runs off when you approach the cape. Why does he wuss out like that? Wait.. isn't that Bill? I thought he has a wive and kids in Goldenrod. Actually, this makes perfect sense now.
Douchebag in the gym: "Yo, while Misty was away, I went away and had some fun too!" Please! No details neccesary.
Fat Sailor: "Glub! I'm first!" *Koops solo's his Seadra with Waterpulse* Um.. I hate to ask.. but why aren't you swimming like the proper gymtrainers around here?
Buster solo's the Golduck and the two Seaking, opening with his mandatory Flame Wheel. Fusion gets to solo the Cloyster and Serene the Azumarill. The "Aqua Rabbit" (seriously, that's what the dex says!) even puts up a fight with Aquaring!! NOO! I need that residual damage from Hail to actually HURT! Fortunately, some Double Edge recoil takes it down.
Versus Misty:
This must be the first Kanto gymbattle where I'm not underleveled. Molasses sits at a comfertable level 55 and has perfected his strategy versus Brock's fossils. He can even take an unboosted Water Pulse from Golduck and live with a few HP. At first I wasn't impressed with Water Pulse.. Why not go for Surf or Hydropump? But decent PP and confuse hax will make this battle challenging enough.
I bring to this battle:
- 3 X-SpD
- 2 X-Def
- 8 Milk
- Elixir, Ether
The Plan:
- Stall out Major Attacks
- Don't get nailed by any critical hits
- Inflict Poison with Smog
- Protect, Protect, Protect
Molasses Protects on turn one, lives a Water Pulse by a hair and Protects another turn. There, 17 Water Pulses left to stall out. I use a milk and set up the three Special Defense boosts to comfortably tank two Pulses in a row.
*Golduck used Psych Up!*
LOL!! I just got served at my own game! I'm glad I didn't go for the Special Attack Boosts; that would have been the end of me for sure! The boosts are surely annoying, but it doesn't matter. I wasn't really planning on sweeping him with
Smog. The poison damage should do most of the work here. After the standard Yawn, Protect, Smog strategy I poison the duck and start stalling with Protect. It goes down into the red and.. Yup! Full Restore Time. Four Smogs in a row fail to poison before the fifth does the trick. Meh, at least it's hitting now.
Golduck succumbs to the poison and Starmie is Yawned to sleep. I randomly select Ember when it suddenly switches out to Lapras. Shit. Natural Cure will heal it now. But I do get lucky: Lapras is burned on the spot! Ahahaha! MOAR PROTECTING!! But the PP has ran out.. Allready? Even Yawn and Smog are almost depleted. Time for an Elixir then. At least Ember does some decent damage this time.
Quaggy is next: Oh shit! It carries Earthquake to OHKO Molasses. One X-Def should fix that. Scout with Protect, live a hit and heal. The stalling pays off as it goes for a Rain Dance and I can set up a second defense boost. Rain boosted Water Pulse hurts, but not as much as Earthquake. Now Molasses is confused and struggles to get another Yawn in. Fortunately, Quagsire goes for a couple of Amnesia first. LOL! Magcargo will be doing pathetic damage with Smog again.. *he does, but Smog Poisons* SUCCESS! Moar Protect Stall!
*Misty uses a Full Restore* Of course..
I'm getting extremely paranoid about the absense of critical hits so far. Have I really been this lucky? I try to Yawn and Protect as much as possible to avoid any hit I possibly can. But Earthquake appears to have run out of PP and I might even live an unboosted WP. Smog FINALLY poisons the Quagsire for the second time and the beast goes down for good.
But with it's final breath it sets up Rain Dance for Starmie. Molasses takes a big hit when it goes for Yawn. Shit! Confusion strikes again! Fortunately he Protects first before he hits himself.. Time to attack! A long stall war ensues and Starmie is left with a timely burn when it wakes up. But Protect is nearly out of PP too! I Protect twice in a row, dead paranoid to take any hit at this point. I've come so far! No damned crit is going to stop me now!
I know it and Misty knows it: Full Restore is around the corner. I grab the opportunity to Yawn and get an Ether to restore Protect's PP. Again I spam Protect: The less Water Pulses I take the better. But there's light at the end of the tunnel. Starmie starts using random Confuse Rays and (a critical hitting) Icebeam (LOL!). Molasses isn't bothered by the confusion; it does less than leftovers with his monstrous defense. Time to finish this: Molasses, Smog at will! *Smog poisons* After 34x Protect this battle has finally been decided in Molasses favor. Cascade Badge Get!
Good game, Misty! I am so glad that Water Pulse was your only STAB move. Molasses has proved his superiority over the Water Type and gloats all the way back to the pokemon center. Man, he had one hell of a chapter, soloing three major bosses and a load of trainers.
Next Chapter: Rounding up the final Kanto Badges!
Team Summary:
Buster (Raticate) - Level 54
Nature: Relaxed, Ability: Guts
Item: Muscle Band (Chesto Berry!!!)
- Flame Wheel
- Pluck
- Bite
- Focus Energy
Status: He manned up and solo'd route 3.. Never again!! I hate all Poliwrath now! If I ever encounter another one, I'll have Fusion Thunder his ass! Un the plus side: I guess he's ready to take on Blaine.
Molasses (Magcargo) - Level 56 (!!)
Nature: Hardy, Ability: Flame Body
Item: Leftovers
- Yawn
- Smog
- Ember
- Protect (PP-up x2)
Status: Nobody can touch him anymore! Godly defense, annoying burns and protect to stall out any attack.. He did three major solo's this chapter, I guess he has proven his worth! He also solo'd 33 trainers, only 17 more to go. On the type solo's: 2 More Ice Types, 5 Fighting, 2 Steels and 4 Darks to complete another sub challange (Dragon is excluded).
Koops (Squirtle) - Level 54
Nature: Modest, Ability: Torrent
Item: Rindo Berry
- Bite
- Iron Defense
- Water Pulse
- Tail Whip
Status: He needs to solo two more gym trainers in Kanto and he still hasn't found his nemesis Hooktail! Will he get his sweet revenge before the challange is over?? (OMG, forshadowing element!)
Serene (Lapras) - Level 47
Nature: Bold, Ability: Shell Armor
Item: None. Serene's already walling the heck out of everything as it is.
- Hail
- Safeguard
- Confuse Ray
- Perish Song
Status: Has netted her mandatory kills for the chapter.
Fusion (Gyarados) - Level 47
Nature: Hasty, Ability: Intimidate
Item: Mystic Water
- Bite
- Waterfall
- Thunder
- Frustration
Status: He's not so overleveled anymore and is back on the team. His intimidate was very usefull in helping Molasses set up without a type-berry.